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Posted 10/17/2006 11:57 PM (GMT 0)
Oh Gosh,

 I am having a really, really hard time. My whole body is shaky feeling on the inside and out. I have a bruised feeling in my chest area... think because of my breathing. I just can't seem to shake this impending doom feeling. My stomach has been making this awful sounds... and i just feel like I want to jump out of my skin and be like I was before. I go outside and sit on my porch watching all of the cars go by... wishing i was out there like before... instead of being afraid in my house.

 I'm the fairly new one here who is losing her Dad to Cirrosis, Hep. C and Emphesema : ( I'm 31, and he is 54. His breathing is so bad at night that I just feel like everytime i hear him... i go right into a full blown panic attack. I try and plug my ears because i can't stand to hear him suffer!

 I will FINALLY get to see my old therapist tomorrow at 3 pm. I can't tell you how happy I am about that.

 Ps. I take no meds. Started Zoloft 2 weeks ago and had a bad reaction to it.... so only meds i take are my toprol for bp and xanax when needed.

 Ugh.

 Anyone else have panic sooo bad that they feel as though the whole body has a 100 lb weight on it and all you can do it lay down? Wow...! It flat out is the worst feeling ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 I'm so sick of crying! I pray that it tapers down some!

 I wish that there was a way to actually talk to someone on the phone about this... too bad there isn't a hotline for panic attacks! : )

 Thanks for listening...

 Kelly

Posted 10/18/2006 12:21 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Kelly, you must breathe during these acute stages of anxiety. A therapist gave me a suggestion that I woud like to pass along. Take red dots (from office supply store) and put there everywhere that you look -- like your rear view mirror, your speedometor, your bathroom mirror, etc. and when you see one -- BREATHE. Also, do you do deep breathing exercises? If you don't have a technique, let me know. I know from experience that this won't take away our affliction but it will help. Also, I force myself to walk, even when I'm crying. It's the last thing I want to do but if I'm not having a migraine, I do it and I feel better. Because the mind is so powerful, it comes back but we all need to learn how to live in the moment. I'm so sorry that you are hurting.
Posted 10/18/2006 2:45 AM (GMT 0)
I feel for you! I remember those days - when my anxiety "exploded" and changed my life! It does get better! I was able to control it in the beginning with relaxation and cognitive therapy. But after the birth of my second child (10 years ago), it came back along with post-partum. My gyno introduced me to Paxil (after two others that didnt work) and I went back to therapy for a while. I'm still on paxil, but only 10 mg/day. Seems I need that little bit of help along with the stuff I learned in therapy. If you're not sleeping well, it will make it MUCH WORSE. Maybe if you take the Xanax before bed? I lost my dad 4 years ago to liver cancer (he was a fireman and they think it was from some of the chemical fires he fought in the old days). He was 63 - not as young as your Dad, but still too young...

For the most part my anxiety is very mild now. Although I am going thru a fairly bad spell just now. I hate it! I feel so fustrated that I can "allow" my mind to play these tricks on me and even create physical symptoms! Why can I manage fine for months, then not be able to keep a handle on it!?

Once I found the right med for me (Paxil), and I was able to get control of myself again, I realized just how uptight and self destructive I was. You know the saying "dont sweat the small stuff"? Well I managed to always to turn the small stuff into major catastrophies! I'm surprized my first attack didnt happen years earlier.
Posted 10/18/2006 10:57 AM (GMT 0)
dmb175, i used to have major panic attacks but only when driving on the expressway (weird). i had to take the back roads every where which was a total frustration and used up plenty of gas and time. then my attacks happened on back roads and once i had one there i remembered it and it brang on the thought of having one again so i went down a different road, i ran out of roads. i could feel my attacks come on, my signs were, my left eyebrow and eye would twitch, my mouth would feel like it was having a stroke and i felt impending doom, out of control fear i thought i would pass out but never did., i needed to get contol of the situation i was in so i would pull over and call my friend to help me talk it through. i felt so stupid, after a while of putting off medicine i was becoming fearful of leaving my house. i struggled to get to work (15mins away). my doctor ended up putting me on paxil. it was my wonder drug, no more panic attacks at all. i felt free i could drive anywhere and did. that was 2 years ago. i have been weened off it and im doing fine. it takes time to build in your system. hope this helps.
Posted 10/18/2006 11:52 AM (GMT 0)
Hi there I just came outta of a major Meltdown so I can totally relate I was shaking so bad and sobbing so much my huby and daughters were terrified as were my sistas here
I had not dealt with moms death not cried notta and finally I BROKE
A/ P will and does play havoc on you body I agree with the breathing as well as fining a ned that will work for you
Talke to your doc please about all of this be totally honest with him and let it all out
Write notes so you remember all of it okay
Post and let us know how you make out
Be well
Lyn
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