Reluctant to take meds

Hello, I just joined the forum today.  I've recently started seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist for my anxiety, which has been bad for about 2 years now.  I've been diaganosed with anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and depression, and am starting treatment with Prozac.  The anxiety is horrible, and I'm to the point where I can barely drive and every night am convinced I'm dying (I have a lot of physical symptoms of anxiety). 

My question is, Has anyone else had the issue that they are so anxiety-filled that they are afraid of medication?  I have for several years been very afraid of any medication (I rarely will even take a Tylenol).  I feel this way because I am so nervous and am so afraid of any change in how my body or mind feels, I am so sensitive to any tiny change, also very afraid of dying and convinced any medication will kill me.  Starting medication is really scary to me.  I took only 10mg of Prozac this morning, and tonight was convinced I had blurred vision, was about to pass out and difficulty breathing (not a new thing for me) - of course now I am calm and I am fine.  I just wondered if anyone else has this problem?  I know maybe it sounds silly, but its something that I've had a problem with for years, and why I never saught treatment earlier.

Thanks!!

 

I know medication is not for everyone - but I am on prozac and have been on and off it for the past 20 yrs.
Everyone has different side effects I am sure...but hey, you have suffered panic attacks etc for the past 2 years..do you think you could feel any worse for tryng medication that could help you feel better and give you a better quality of life?
I am sure you will find heaps of support and inspiration on this website.
____________
Maree

I suffered with anxiety for years and finally got on meds... I was also afraid of them.. after a bad reaction to Zoloft... but I found a medication that works for me.

I had the fears, and didn't believe in taking mood altering drugs... but when my mood was so awful.. I decided it was time. When I couldn't even leave the house barely let alone go to work... I knew I had to change something about my life...and that was one of the only answers I could come up with.

Twiggygal~

Hi Wazo

Welcome, I hope you enjoy the supportive people here. I am terrified of taking pills, especially anti-d's. I'm afraid they will make me feel wierd, ya like I don't already feel that way.

I look at it this way, afraid or not, these meds will help me and if they don't then I won't take them. It's worth trying the Prozac, it may help. It's nice to meet you.

Stay Well Judy

thanks janet, for the reassurance, I know I will get better, just want it sooner than later, I know I need to be patient, it has actually only been about 3 weeks now and I know they say sometimes 4-6 for the full affects so I will wait a little longer and in the mean time keep talking to all of you as it really does help and I would rather do that than take the xanax. I have it but only took it once but don't want to rely on it, would rather wait for the meds to kick in and handle life as it comes. hopefully they will soon, not sure if it takes longer when you restart them but have heard sometimes it does also playing withe the dosage a little, I was on 10 for 2 weeks went down to 5 because thought maybe it was too high as I was getting more anxious which I also hear can happen the first few weeks and now back up to 10 after 5 days, did you notice any of this the first few weeks, if it doesn't work I will try the zoloft, I heard that one was very good also just thought since the lexapro worked so well last time and not many side affects, Iwas hoping i would have the same result.

thank you so much for being here
have a wonderful day,
scaredycat.

Thank you soo much everyone for your replies!  I was excited to check the forum tonight and see if anyone had replied.  This forum helps me a lot.  Just reading through everyone's postings, on this topic and others, reassures me and takes my mind off of the anxiety I usually feel every night when I end up back in my room at the end of my work day.  I'm going to take the Prozac, although I haven't taken it the past 2 days, just the initial day, because I got scared.  Tomorrow I'm going to start again.  I think I already feel calmer after one dose, maybe its just a coincidence because the doctor said it will take weeks to feel a difference, but it makes me feel like, if i can just take the medicine for a while, and continue seeing my psychologist, and reading, maybe I can get through this tough time.  Things seem clearer, like I can see through the "cloud" a little bit.  Could it be helping a little bit already?  I'm very sensitive to medication. 

Again, thanks everyone for your help.

  

I wasn't anxiety filled a bout taking meds. I grew up in a very strong, although emotionally repressed, family. My dad was a surgeon and the medical community was a big influence on all of us kids. I have also walked my own road in my life. I had home birth with both my kids. Wow, you should have seen the family fireworks over that one! My dad was cool if not approving, but my Mom blew a gasket! That is an aside, back to topic.

I had an early anxiety issue when I was 22 and at that time knew it was due to stess. I gutted it out and after only 8 years was well again (Only 8 YEARS!). A serious clinical depression hit me when I was 34. I was working for an abusive tyrant and had a lot of stess connected with raising my son. At the time I was working as an Instructional Assistant in elementary school (yes, the principal was the abusive tyrant) and one day I just couldn't stop crying. Bless her sweet heart, my mentor teacher took a huge risk and told me outright that I had a problem with depression and needed to get help. I took her at her word, cancelled all my classes and went to the doctor. I got lucky because my primary care doctor at the time was a wonderful woman who really knew about depression. She gave me a prescription and I took it. My issue was that notion that depression and taking the meds made me feel weak. After I was finished at the appointment I went out to my car and screamed my head off (sort of like primal scream therapy without the nudity). I hit the steering wheel of my car so hard that it actually bent. I bawled my eyes out. When I was done with all that I went home and told my husband. He and I went over to my parent's house and I told them. My mom of course went ballistic and then something amazing AMAZING happened. My quiet, never rock the boat father told my mother to shut up and listen for once. I told them that the thing I had to get over was that depression and medication does not make me weak. Getting help and being honest about what is going on makes me strong. I took my meds everyday for a year and a half. I honestly identified the issues that were in my way and wrote a 5 year plan and a 10 year plan for changing my life. I walked the road of my plan every single day and hit the 5 year moark right on th enose. 7 years into my 10 year plan I hit those goals.

This is a long way to say, "Take the meds, it will be the strongest thing you have ever done for yourself."

Good luck,

stronglady,

which meds did you take and how did they affect you at first. so glad to hear you are doing so much better. you are all in my prayers. I have been taking lexapro 3 weeks, though, I think it is getting better, I still have a lot of anxiety and ups and downs wondering if this will level out soon.

take care of you.