kinda o.t. but have had to deal with alot in short time

hi everyone! it's been awhile since i posted and i wanted to let you all know that i have been seeing a counselor and actually tomorrow she is going to start the bio feedback on me, she said she has great results with that. i am still on 10mg of lexapro and 1mg ativan 3xday, so far it seems to be helping me. just lately probably the last 2 or 3 days i just feel kinda weird i can't even really explain it, i haven't been sleeping well at all so that might have something to do with it, but then again last week i found out my pap came back bad so this wednesday i have to go in for a biopsy and then who knows what, so i have been stressed about that and also my son wants to move back with me and my husband, so now i have been talking to my lawyer to see what we need to do to get custody. my ex husband is a jerk and the only thing he cares about is having to pay child support not whether my son is happy or not. i called my son tonight and was talking to him and i can tell that his dad and everyone has been talking to him and filling his head with crap because now he seems unsure as to what he wants. he is 11 and will soon be 12. just last weekend he was absolutley miserable and doesn't want to go home, he tells me all the time his dad doesn't spend any time with him, he has to fin for himself when he's hungry ect.. i just really think he would be better off here with us we were the ones that bought all his school clothes and shoes, bookbag,bike, gameboy, ect.. i guess i never really let myself think that my son would want to move back in so now i really really really want him here and to hear the uncertainty in his voice hurts so bad!! well thanks for listening i just needed to get that off my chest, i wish wednesday was here and over with and i had the results already!! oh yeah i also have been doing jazzersize 4 days a week wich helps tremendously!!

                                     amos

Amos,

Sorry to hear you are having a rough go. Hope things work out with your kid. I am sure it is hard on him at almost 12. When my parents divorced I was like 21 and it hit hard my parents would fill me with fuel against the other. I was still living at home/going to college when it happened. I had to choose where I wanted to live and it was really hard for me. Give him time and space and remember not to bad mouth his dad to him. It is not good for him. Hope things work out.

thank you for all your advice and yes i know how it is i come from a divorced family also. my parents were divorced when i was 9 so i know what my son is going through i just wish i could make this easier for him. tomorrow morning i go in for my biopsy i am really scared i just don't want it to be something serious. 8 years ago i had one done and nothing was cancerous just had to have a leep procedure done, but this time it feels different i have more pain than i did back then. i'm just scared i guess, for one the biopsy hurts and two i'm scared of the results! yesterday my doctor increased my lexapro to 20mg a day and my ativan 1mg 4xday until i get used to the new dose. does anyone know if you have many side effects to the new dose and how long it might last? i just kinda feel jittery in the mornings and a little throughout the day. yesterday was an extremely bad day for me i just cried all day and my pulse was up just didn't feel right so that is why my doctor decided it was time to increase the meds. anyone else have that happen? i felt so good for awhile and then the last few days could tell something was happening cuz i just didn't feel like myself,  didn't have the energy or ambition to do anything felt like i was slipping backwards.

            amos

Hi Amos

Honey you are in my prayers. We will be here for you so please let us know how it goes hun.