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anyone with similar ocd want to talk?

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Posted 11/5/2006 8:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, I'm 23 and have had ocd, depression, and anxiety since I was 9. I worry alot about dying and getting old. I feel like time is flying by too fast and that im getting too old. I worry that Im not attractive and that people find me odd. my anxiety is at its highest at night and I worry that I'll die because i sometimes have chest pains. I hate when people touch me, i'm afraid they are trying to do something bad to me. I feel dirty all the time and just iicky. I count numbers all day long. I have to do certain things a certain number of times like i have to touch the wall a few times before i can do something else. if a number i dont like is on the clock i cant look away until the number changes. its very stressful and very noticeable in public. sometimes i cant touch things so i use tissue to touch it.. i also obsess about my hair and im constantly grooming myself. if anyone wants to talk i have yahoo messanger and its bloomingskyee. so send me a message
Posted 11/5/2006 8:17 PM (GMT 0)
welcome

self help books on recovery from OCD have useful advice

have you tried an antidepressant med, they often help

since OCD is an anxiety disorder, learning new ways of calming and relaxing yourself will reduce it

self help books on overcoming worry have good advice

stay with us :-)

Posted 11/5/2006 11:37 PM (GMT 0)
Bloom,

Welcome to HW there are many helpful people here. Also I know of atleast a few with some sort of OCD. I am sure they will be by soon to share with you. Also you might not want to put your yahoo ID in your post and instead put it in your profile to afoid spammers and such.
Posted 11/6/2006 9:22 AM (GMT 0)
Welcome to HW
I too am severe OCD but with cleanlines and other things that control me thru the ocd
I am getting better with using techniques as was posted and you may want to look in the resources in yellow at the side for info on this ..........
As normal pointed out it is better to go back to control panel and edit your profile put Yahoo in there for your own safety and security
U wanna talk my information for yahoo is under my name
'Again welcome and hope to see you stick around here with us
HW is a great support group and fantastic peeps here to help you out if they are able
Take care
post often
Lyn

nono I forgot to mention I do have a counting thing in my OCD usually in 3 or 5 but still have it ......

Mine is mostly cleaning and balancing everything .....everyone says house is spotless but in my moind it isnt

I wash floor before bed when I get up and EVERY time I go out the door ...........to name a few OCD traits

Posted 11/7/2006 6:42 AM (GMT 0)
Bloom, I have the same problems, diagnosed with OCD at age 17, now with depression and anxiety too. I have a lot of the things you described. I will try to message you.
Posted 11/7/2006 5:52 PM (GMT 0)
wazu and Bloom could you please email me I have a couple of questions
Thanks
Lyn
Posted 11/8/2006 12:15 AM (GMT 0)

Welcome to the board. I too also suffer with OCD  pure obsessions thoughts that get stuck in my head over and over. And the need to constantly check. When I was younger I had to make my bed a certain way or I thought something horrible would happen to my family. As I got older I had thougths that I might have ran someone over while driving and would have to drive around a few times to make sure. I constantly check doors, irons, stoves to make sure that they are off. There's times i've checked them over and over when I know i've turned them off and have turned around while driving to work to check because i'm terrified I had left something on and the house would burn down and still called my boyfriend to check once again. I also suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks. You will find great comfort in the board there are wonderful people that understand what you are going through.

hugs,

Georgia

Posted 11/8/2006 4:57 AM (GMT 0)
Hello and welcome!

 

I have OCD.  I have a thing for numbers as well.  I'm entranced by the number 5 and any number that is divisable by 5.  I have to live in a home that is divisable by 5.  My birthday, when all numbers are added up are divisable by 5.  My house number is 15.  I used to live in a house with the number 121 on it and was convinced all the bad stuff I was experiencing was related to the bad house number.

 

I can relate to Georgia too .. I have to make all the beds in the house in the same order and the same way all the time or someone in my family will get sick.  I have to bathe a certain way and in a certain order (ie: hair, then shave legs -left then right) if I don't and mess up, I believe that something horrible will happen and that makes me panic or have an anxiety attack. 

 

Even with meds., I'm still obsessing over things I can't control .. but it is easier to deal with, without the meds., I'm a basket case.  I hope you can find solace in knowing that you're not alone.

 

Puddin'

 

P.S.  my phone number is also divisable by 5 when all the numbers are added up .. so it's a good number .. tongue

Posted 2/7/2007 11:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hi I havent checked on replies until now. didnt realize I had replies. but yes ocd is as bad as ever. my anxiety seems to really get bad before bedtime. I just think and obsess that im dying and I think about death in general and it scares me and makes me sick to my stomach. and my ocd makes me go to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time. I have no idea why I do this but everything i do revolves around time and the clock. I also have to repeatedly check over and over that my radio is set to wake me up. I cant stop myself from checkng over and over. I also have to touch things I wprry about with tissue for instance the tv controller. anytime my boyfriend touches me i cringe and have to grab soap anf disinfect myself. I think its because he has tourettes and he tics things that he knows trigger my ocd tics..so its stressful. Im always afraid that im doing something wrong or that im not being a good person. I worry about every thing, i get upset that im stepping on an ant or that im hurting something. sounds so stupid and crazy yet i cant stop myself from obsessing about everything. I can only eat certain things, wear certain clothes, go certain places. i dont like odd numbers. if Im drinking water I have to drink it a certain number of times because some numbers I hate and this applies to everything. everything i do has to be done a certain number of times before i think its safe to go to something else. it really stresses me out and my heart races alot and im so tired of being afraid. I hate myself because im not strong enough to stop these obsessions myself and just try to be normal..but if I ignore them, it makes me literally sick but if you answer every tic, that too just makes the ocd that much stronger. I dont think my ocd is normal ocd because sometimes im not sure what exactly im afraid of, it sjust always been a constant thing in my life since I was a child. it has never gotten better with meds and therapy. it would work for awhile and then it would go to another obsession. sometimes i could obsess about something and then another time not obsess about it ever again. or something i didnt obsess about before, I do now obsess about. its annoying. it never ends. anyway i would like people to chat too sounds good. hopefully chat wont become ocd as well cause it has before..silly huh. how ocd can take everything from u.
Posted 2/8/2007 12:17 AM (GMT 0)

Bloom, I am 22 and I have had OCD, depression, and anxiety since I was 11. I am currently going through EXACTLY what you are. I worry about the future and dying. I feel like im getting older too fast. I dont count or touch things like I used to with the OCD but I still have some rituals and ticks. I've been on paxil for a long time for the OCD and things have been much better.

However in the last 5-6 monts i have been getting terrible anxiety. I dropped out of college and now i just work full time. My days are contantly plagued by all these fears and thoughts. Thoughts of going crazy...losing control...anxiety about anxiety, depression about anxiety, lonliness because I don't socialize 1/10th of what I used to. I always feel like i'm not percieving the world the way I'm supposed to...and sometimes I feel unreal and freaked out. I take xanax for that but even when im not having an anxiety or panic attack i am still thinking about it all the time.

Take care and keep posting

Posted 2/8/2007 3:31 AM (GMT 0)
I have depression, anxiety and OCD. My mind likes to move them around to keep me stressed, though lately all 3 have been at it together.

I remember watching my mum as a child checking and rechecking things, I learnt a bit off her and the genes of course.

I wish you well, have you found a good therapist to help you yet?
Posted 2/8/2007 3:44 PM (GMT 0)
I have seen so many therapist and doctors its not even funny. the meds will work for awhile then stop working, then ill get on another med and the side effects will be bad or it does the same thing works then stops. My mom, brothers, and dad dont have ocd at all. some of my cousins do but the one that does is very successful and can cope with it. I never been good with coping. I have never kept a job, i always end up quitting because my ocd gets extreme but im trying to start school and im worried i wont stick with it, but I promised everyone I'd do it because its the last time my mom said she would help me out because i dont have any income to pay for college and eeryone doubts me. I need to do it because im home all day and it just makes my ocd go crazy.  lately my anxiety gets really bad and everything seems like an illusion and I just feel like something  is wrong and I cant stop my heart from racing. I never socialize with people. people have said Im weird and I think people are always staring at me and think negative things about me. I kind of live in my own fantasy world most of the time as a means of escape. ocd doesnt make sense. whats the purpose in being scared all the time? My boyfriend doesnt understand and i cant talk about my fears and what im afraid of because guess what that's ocd too, to  tell anyone my deepest fears in fear that that will do something. ocd to me to me is like being naked all the time. You feel vunerable to everything and u feel unprotected and that people can see right through u and judge you on all your flaws and faults. You cant escape from yourself at all, its like another person, like a demon that torments you and never leaves u alone. well that might seem extreme but thats what its like for me.

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