Fear of going Crazy

Then it got to the point where I was so bad off I couldn't eat, sleep or have any interaction with my job....I literally rocked and paced all over my apartment which was very unsettling to all involved.  So my boyfriend finally found me a psychiatrist that had an opening and could see me immediately.  I went on lexapro and klonopin that afternoon and began seeing a psychiatrist regularly.  I couldn't believe how quickly I started to get my perspective back.

My boyfriend was there for me every step of the way and I will never ever forget how supportive he was and how his love helped. However, had he not come through it wouldn't have mattered because the feeling of getting back my mojo was worth the risk, and I would have seen he wasn't worth it had he left me for judging my illness.

I still take lexapro and klonopin, just less of it.  I have had the courage to leave my job which was making me unhappy and now I'm focusing ony life in a way I feel proud of.  I did, however, learn the hard way that I'm not through conquering my anxiety as I recently went off the klonopin and 3 weeks later BAM a full blown anxiety attack woke me up and I thought I was going crazy again.  I immediately took a full 2 mg of klonopin to settle me down and get the voices out of my head, and today I am feeling normal again.

I will tell you the only way to deal with what you are going through is to immediately see a trained psychiatrist specializing in anxiety disorders and spend the money if you don't have a good health insurance plan, there is no cost too much to get yourself back.

Please make an appointment as fast as you can.  Just look one up on the internet if you do not know who is in your network.  Don't overcomplicate it, it's important just to get in the office and a Dr. will almost always find a way to see you if they know how severe your anxiety is right now.  They really do have to take your appointment out of fear that they will have something go wrong if they don't.

Please go see a dr!

I promise you that you will come out of this on the other end, it's just taking the first step that is the hardest.

:)

Oh my god!!!

Thanks.. Kanika and Steph.  I cried reading your responses.  I feel so much better.

I'm going to make an appointment to see the doctor!!!  I'm so happy for you guys, because you're doing better since the medication.

Kanika... so it didn't bother your boyfriend when he knew about what you were going through?

You know... I'm really afraid of losing my boyfriend, my family, and my life over this.  I used to love my life so much, until these bad thoghts came into my mind and I've been suffering from it for 7 months now. 

 One time my boyfriend said to me that, "Dominicans don't suffer from Anxiety and Depression", and I thought to myself, "If you only knew that this Dominican sitting beside you suffers from it". 

There are times that I get so nervous thinking that I'm going crazy, that I can't seem to stop swollowing.  I do it even in my sleep.  I hate when that happens.  Is that anxiety too???

Hot showers calm me down.  They've always have.

---Liz

Just letting you know that I dwell on things like that too.  i have been worried about going crazy, and a whole bunch of other worries that pop into my head that freaks me out.  i have had these worries for the past 3.5 months now.  i can't stand it.  some days i feel good, other days, i can't handle it.  it has helped me to come on these forums here-ever since i signed up on here, my anxiety has eased up quite a bit.  i'm addicted to these!!  you're not the only one with this fear.  if you browse through all the pages here, there's quite a few topics like this, and people's personal experiences with these 'crazy' worries are posted.  it really helps.  i'm like you, i haven't seen my doctor about it, or talked to anybody about it.  it has crossed my mind, but it also scares me too.  i don't want people thinking i am crazy because of it.  a lot of the things i worry about are a waste of time and ridiculous, but yet, whatever it is that worries me at that time scares me to death!!  there's been a few times i've mentioned to my mom or whoever, about some worries, and they just look at me and say 'are you serious?'  because they think it's ridiculous too.  but one things for sure, we aren't going to just 'stop' worrying about these ridiculous things.  and it doesn't help much when others just don't understand.  i try to avoid mentioning things to my boyfriend too, because he already thinks i'm 'weird' for having to sleep with the hall light on and my tv on.  (distracts my mind from going a mile a minute!!)  so when people act like this, who else are you supposed to turn to??  that's why i come on here!  hope you feel better!!  i'm hoping i feel better too!!