fear of becoming delusional

For the past couple of months I have been worrying that I am going to start thinking paranoid delusional thoughts and completely lose touch with reality.I do not know if this is just anxiety or if i am really losing it this time. I dont have the worries of dying; having a heart attack or getting some disease like most people with anxiety have. All I have are the uncontrollable  and obsessive thoughts that i am not thinking normally and I am going to lose touch with reality and end up in a mental hospital.Every morning when i wake up; the fear hits me wondering if today is the day that i lose my mind. For instance when I go out somewhere even though I know the thoughts are not true I am like what if I start thinking that people are following me or when I go out to eat what if people are going to put something in my drink or what if my boss is watching me with a camera. Even though I know none of these thoughts are true I know these are the kinda of thoughts crazy people think and I am worried that I am going to start thinking them and believing these thoughts and end up crazy and it just causes me to feel sooo panick stricken and overwhelmed when i think like this. If anyone else has ever had these kind of thoughts  please let me know it would be so reassurring to know I am not the only one that is this weird and crazy. I hope u guys can make sense of all this it is scaring me to death; just the thought of being labeled as a crazy person terrifies me.

I was diagnosed with panic/anxiety about 5 yrs ago by my family doc. He put me on 20mg of paxil which i have been taking since then and has worked really well for me up until about 2 months ago. The panic attacks started again and now I keep having these thoughts of  becoming schizophrenic and completely losing touch with reality, which I think causes alot of my panic attacks. I have also have  done so much research on the topic of schizophrenia and know so many of the symptoms;I am worried i could end up thinking myself into the disorder. If i could only be assurred that i wasnt going to go crazy I think all my anxiety would leave b/c it is really my only fear.

coolbreeze,

welcome to HW and let me tell you that you are not alone!!! im in the same boat as you are!! no more panic attacks but sometimes i feel that the world is  totally out to get me. i did talk to a counsler and we got to the bottom of why i feel this way:

A year and a half ago i was involved in a robbery (talk about feeling vulnerable) and ever since then i feel so unsafe knowing that something like that could happen to me again. Now that chances of it are probably slim but people like us (worry warriors) are always think about the "what if's" and it ends up eating away at our lives!! im always thinking things like what if i forgot to lock the door tonight and someones going to sneak in...or...are people thinking that im acting different...am i acting different?? whatever....

reading books about fear have helped me soooooo much i cant even tell you!!! i dont know if you are female or male. but if you are a women i would suggest "the confident women" by joyce meyers. this book has completely inspired me to not sit around and be worried about these things and just be yourself

(I KNOW THAT SOUNDS CORNY) keep us updated PLEASE

Talk to you soon

kate

 

i didn't take the time to read what everyone else posted because i felt such an urgency to post you myself. i was like that about 2 months ago. now keep in mind the i have an uncle that was paranoid schizo........ my cousin is bipolar and other aunts and uncles with problems so i was certain that i was doomed and that i too was going to be like this. i felt like i was loosing my mind. i didn't want to see or talk to people i quit my babysitting job because the attacks got so bad and i just couldn't thing straight no matter how hard i tried. i was sent to a psychiatric hospital for a consult....... i was told that i was not schizo or even paranoid. even thought i tend to here voices and see things that are not there......... the therapist says i am just very hyper- alert about everything. so you are not alone and these feeling ......well you are not alone at all. please keep us informed. oh they did put me on some meds that help for immediate relief and i am not seeking a doc. that can help with meds for long term help.



God bless you all