Having a Bad few days

  Hay Paul

I use to have a lot of those kind of dreams but I somehow learned that you can control your dreams to a point, it seem's like you are halfway awake when having these dreams and when you do realisle you are dreaming you can put into your mind a more pos twist in it and just go with it and your anxiety will be less and less as you learn to control them but night time P/A's that I'm in a deep sleep I don't even wake up from them but boy can I rip up a bed lol

  But you are doing good looking into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as I feel that this really is the only way out, But still some of us do need meds just to have control over are selfs and giving us a sence of depressing the way we think, but I do like having something for those times of high anxiety and if you really feel that it helped you talk to your pdoc about getting more xanax as it dose help you

  Cowboy up

Well what can I say? I really need some support right now as the last few days have been absolutely horrifying and dreadful. I have been having immense difficulties with sleeping, the past 2 or 3 nights I have tossing and turning in bed for 5 hours at a time; trying to fall asleep. During these hours I am experiencing extreme anxiety, hyper arousal, and panic and even sleep paralysis of some sort. It has been completely debilitating and draining. When I do finally fall asleep, I constantly have broken sleep and usually only end up getting about 5 hours of sleep altogether (at most). To top things off my schedule is completely ridiculous at the moment; I am waking up around 7pm and up all night. I am sure this type of nocturnal behavior isn’t helping me any. Tonight, my boyfriend went to bed pretty much when I woke up, and this threw me into such panic I thought I needed to go to the hospital and into a mental institution. I don’t want to awaken my boyfriend as I care about him and want him to get adequate sleep and feel well in the morning. This anxiety/panic is so crippling that I am even afraid to go and get myself food in fear of losing my mind in the process. I don’t know it seems I am getting more and more aware and petrified of my surroundings. I know in theory everything is as it should be, but between my fears of me going crazy (being manic, etc) and being up alone- I am in sheer terror. For most of my panic disorder I have gone without medication; perhaps taken ativan once in a blue moon. According to a calendar I keep, I have been taking this sedative more and more frequently lately, practically on a day to day basis. On day I took a dose, and later that night I needed another. It seems my anxiety has been more than off the charts. My boyfriend thinks I may be going through a harder time because I am experiencing withdrawal symptoms some days, did anyone ever find this hard? I also find that I feel more down when on ativan or when it wears off sometimes; did anyone here ever experience this too? I am at a complete and utter loss, I just feel like this can’t just be anxiety and panic. I’ve never been so scared in my entire life and I just want to do whatever it takes to get better. To top it all off, I have an very important appointment coming up in 3 days along with blood work that same day, and I have no idea how I will make it there on time as I have been waking up so late. I have tried everything to fix these awful hours and get back on track, but it seems I am only making everything worse. I’m sorry for writing so much but I am up alone right now and completely horrified. I feel so scared to do anything at all on days like these, and all I feel I can do is hide under my covers and hold on for dear life (and I can barely even do that). Do any of you experience this type of fear and doom? I have scared myself so much up to this point and I don’t see how I am possibly ever going to undo it. All of this is starting to feel more and more out of my control. To God I pray that I am not, in fact, losing my mind. I welcome and plea for any words of encouragement or advice that you may be able to lend. I would just like to be able to even walk through my house with my eyes wide open and without this crippling fear; it’s getting harder and harder each day to get out of the corner of this couch. I’m so afraid that one more step could determine the rest of my life, and I could lose absolutely everything. I’m desperate, please help. Thank you all in advance; you have all been a true God send.

Thank you very much for all of your advice. I did some of the things you suggested already, and it helped a great deal. Thanks again.

  Ok Paul sorry that was my bad on that one for I misunderstood you, I see that you are on Lexapro is that helping you at all right now? I'm on 20mgs of it and found that it works better for me with my thoughts running wild like that and it can take up to 6 to 8 weeks to full work or you may just need a ajustment on your meds as not all work the same for everyone.

As your girlfriend had said that you mainly get this feeling during the winter months now that part really sounds like a part of SAD with an anxiety disorder how are you during the summer months do you feel the same at all or is this just a winter thing you got going on here, the more input the better that we can work with and sorry but we have a double posting thing going on here.

  Cowboy up

You have been given great input Funnyclub I can only hope and pray things get bettter for you I get to feeling like this when it is dark and goomy out whether it be rain or yucky dirty snow ya know
Keep the faith and know we are here for you
God BLess
Lyn