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Posted 2/14/2007 11:03 PM (GMT 0)
I am so tired of living this way. How do we move forward and move on from the past? I don't want to spend the next 20 years of my life living with debt worry and job worry and depression and anxiety. I want to look forward to the future, not just wait for it all to crash and break. Ya know.

Happy is what I want
Posted 2/14/2007 11:49 PM (GMT 0)
The only way I continue is to look at the little things I have in life the things I have to be grateful for a roof over my head a beautiful daughter and the will to FIGHT this dang disease as it does me
Dont keep looking back hun try to look forward I know it is hard but anything is hard and this just makes us stronger in the long run
The friends and support I get here every day as well keeps me going
My opinion only
Take care and sorry you are going thru this again
LYN
Posted 2/15/2007 2:33 AM (GMT 0)
Tonight I feel the same way as your post but I remind myself that I'm so much better than I was five years ago.  It really is baby steps and patting yourself on the back when you make these steps.  Take things one at a time and except there will be set backs but your overall moving forward.  When your down come here and help someone else out, it will make you feel better also.

Posted 2/15/2007 2:43 AM (GMT 0)
I know it's really hard when you feel like you've moved forwards then something happens and you go falling backwards.

Trying to remind yourself that you had at least been forwards can help a bit and positive thoughts towards moving forward again.
Posted 2/15/2007 1:50 PM (GMT 0)
I'm ok alot of the time now, but the situation is the same. It's always up in the air about what will happen with the company my husband works for and him leaving isn't really an option at the moment, so we wait. He tells me it will all be ok, but I know that he worries too.

Most of the time I just wish whatever was going to happen, would just happen and then we could move on, I just feel like I'm in a holding pattern and can't land.
Posted 2/16/2007 5:08 PM (GMT 0)

Hi suzy..

'Overthinking alert'..nothing has happened yet.. :-) relax a little - try and enjoy what you have just now. Whatever will be - will be..and you Will cope no matter what happens because you have great survival skills as you have proven by being so much better these days eh?

Maree

Posted 2/16/2007 5:59 PM (GMT 0)
Since my depression, I take one day at a time. Overthinking about the future can stress anyone out. I have had problems putting my past behind me but I am so determined now to move on and enjoy my life.
Posted 2/16/2007 9:01 PM (GMT 0)
I am HORRIBLE about overthinking and I know it. Thats one of the reasons I got a part time job, just to help keep my mind busy through alot of the day. At times I wish I had not have done it, but the extra money is nice and I do enjoy it.

My hubby isn't feeling well, he's been sick since Sunday and I know he has had some anxiety problems too, he got meds today, I now don't feel like I can be as expressive because I don't want to upset him more. It goes in circles. He's no where near as bad as I am though, thank goodness.

Thanks for all the support.
Posted 2/16/2007 11:59 PM (GMT 0)

You are not alone..'over thinking' is my middle name sometimes...sheesh..It's kinda like a bad habit really - a bit like biting your nails..eewwww lol.

Take good care.

Maree

Posted 2/17/2007 1:49 PM (GMT 0)
I just want a time where I don't have to worry about jobs, money, bills...ect. I know that will never happen, but it would be nice to just let it go. I want to enjoy things, not be dragged down with worry and waiting.
Posted 2/17/2007 4:01 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Suzy,
I have spent my whole adult life worrying, and all it has gotten me is panic attacks, ulcers, and IBS. I wish I could give you any advice about how to stop, but I can't stop it myself... I want a time where I don't have to worry, also.... You are not alone, and just know that you have friends here who understand what you're going through. Take care and *BiG HuGs*

Bear :)
Posted 2/17/2007 7:56 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Bear. :-) Hugs to you too!!!

I do ok at times, I just can't let myself relax all the way, ya know. It's always in the back of my head waiting to POP. Then there are days and it's all I can think about...what if this, and what if that. I'm waiting for it to happen. Who knows when or if it will.

I tell myself that even if the worst does happen I would still have a husband that loves me and three wonderful kids and that life would go on.
Posted 2/17/2007 8:04 PM (GMT 0)

:-)  Hi Suzy,

You are totally describing me, too! My life is a series of WHAT IF'S. This is something I have been working on with my therapist for a very long time... it's just so hard to stop thinking that way. I hope we can both overcome this and start being "Oh Well's" instead of "What If's".

Take care :-)

Bear

Posted 2/18/2007 1:26 AM (GMT 0)
I can sometimes do the "oh well". A girl drives through our fence and the back yard is destoryed and the sliding door broken...."oh well" at least I get a new door out of it! The girls get a trampoline to replace the swingset and my hubby gets a new grill...and I get new carpet in the family room! It's almost like a good thing. (no one was hurt thankfully)

I can move on from alot of things, I just have a hang up on the future of my husbands job and our money. Working on the money bit, but it's a slow process and thinking about all of it drags me down.

Today has been ok, I've stayed busy here at home and hopefully my husband will have a good night at work.
Posted 2/18/2007 5:46 PM (GMT 0)
Suzy- I can definitely relate!! I am always waiting for the next "problem"- but my therapist gave me a couple of good tips- first, she said picture all your worries on a boat out in the ocean and imagine them all floating away. Also, anytime I had a "what if", she said, "If it happens, you'll deal with it"- so there's no sense worrying about it...
I know this is easier said than done- sometimes I can do it, sometimes I can't- lately I am having a lot of trouble staying positive- but I guess that's just something that for us is a learned behavior...
Know that I am thinking of you, and feeling what you are feeling!!
Posted 2/18/2007 6:57 PM (GMT 0)
Thank a.l. Alot of problems I can let go, but there are the select few that just won't leave. I bring alot of it on myself too, just today I was looking at the housing market here where I live and my house value has dropped so much that even if i wanted to sell or something happened and I had to I couldn't. Now I know I shouldn't even be thinking about this because right now I have no intention of selling, but then my mind starts working about "what if" my husband looses his job, we couldn't sell the house...blah, blah, blah....stupid I know.

Most of the problem is I have lived with this one issue for years and it just doesn't seem to get better and I keep waiting for it to get worse. I don't know, I used to be able to live with the "I'll deal with it when/ if it happens", but anymore I can't do that. I used to be able to let worries go, now I feel like I have way to many of them and they all stem from one place that I can't do anything about. Just one big circle and my head just spins in it.

Today is ok so far, I'm once again trying to keep busy and have gotten some stuff done....for once.
Posted 2/19/2007 2:24 AM (GMT 0)

Suzy-

Most of my worries are financial ones, too- and my husband has lost a job 3 times; I just lost mine after 18 years at the same place (starting a new one tomorrow). I get so tired of people saying that "money can't buy happiness"- true, it can't buy happiness, but it can certainly help you sleep better at night! I don't want to go through life with the fears I have, but I feel my financial fears are justified (I used to have a health fear, but finally realized that there was no basis to this fear).  Why can't we just hit the lottery??!! LOL

Posted 2/19/2007 9:57 AM (GMT 0)
I hope your first day on your job goes well! It would be nice to hit the lottery, LOL. I get tired of the money thing, it wears on a person. Through my worst times I would sit and do all kinds of figures and look at bankruptcy sights and all kinds of things that would only make me feel worse. I try not to do that now because I know that it doesn't help.

For the most part I am just waiting for the "bad news" to come, in my head I know it will happen, I just don't know when.
Posted 2/20/2007 2:08 AM (GMT 0)

Hi all,

This is the first time I have posted here .  I have suffered from severe Anxiety and Panic Disorder for many years.  about 5 of those years we have to add agoraphobia to the mix.  My anxiety got so bad I couldn't leave the house for anything.  I was only 19 when it hit and felt the same way everyone that deals with it does....why me....why can't I have a normal life....will it ever end etc.  I am sure most people have figured out that it is a vicious circle, the more you worry about having a different life the more anxiety you have.  I went of the meds on my own several years ago.  I got a job working 2 days a week in a situation where I could leave if I needed to.  Little by little as my confidence grew things started to improve.  I always started with small victories and if I didn't do something I wanted to I told myself it was ok.  Eventually after many months I changed jobs to a full time position, I have been with the compnay now for 9 years and while I still have my days for the most part I know what it is and have learned some little tricks that help.  The one thing I remember during my years of misery is how very alone I felt.  I think this site is wonderful and I am there anytime for anyone that just needs to talk. 

Posted 2/20/2007 2:47 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks, miwoman, for sharing your story of success!! I wish it was 6 months from now so I would feel more comfortable in my new job- but, I guess I just have to take baby steps for now...

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