Hi Folks, I am certain that I have some form of anxiety and panic disorder. I am not sure what to do about
it but I would gladly pay to be rid of my situation. I have tried to make contact with several psychiatrists recently to help but they seem to not take new patients. I need a person that knows what they are doing. I am really tired of it and it certainly prevents me from having the kind of life I know I could be having. In my scenario, I freek out when put on the spot to talk in a meeting with 4-6 or more people. My heart races and I my train of though disappears as it is replaced with thoughts of "oh shoot, im in trouble now", "omg not now", etc,etc. So I dont speak well and I look like a crazy nut. If I know in advance that I am having to talk, I will take some Xanax an hour before and normaly I can get through. This situation has killed my career or at least I feel it has. I have recently said that I am tired of it and this is the year I over come it. I just recently took a job as manager were I have to speak more. I thought, if I was to conquer this thing, I must go at it and put myself into a situation where I would be speaking alot. Well 1 month into the job and Im no better yet. I dread going to meetings where I know I have to talk. But, I can avoid them and I have to frequently call meetings to present something. I wish there was a cure. I manage a small group of 4 people and in our weekly dept meetings, I can talk great with no problems. Its nuts. I have the same scenario in some social situations where I worry to much about
what people will think about
me. This is probably the root of my ills. When I was younger, I never had this problem and I was always in the mindset of I dont care what people think. My situation has led me to be more of a loner which really bothers me because I have been raising my son (now 15) since he was 1 and I feel he has picked up my lack of social skills and ouch I cant stand that. I know who I want to be and how I would like to be, but I cant be that way. Is that wierd. I get the same feeling when I am about
to talk to an attractive lady... my thought goes to.. "im going to mess this up" and that lack of confidence kills the situation. Put me in a convo with a girl Im not attracted to and I am charming... Go figure.
I neeed some help...
Post Edited (LLCard) : 2/19/2007 6:51:15 PM (GMT-7)