Normal?? HELP!

Ok so I have had this anxiety thing for a while. But it seems everyday something new happens. Is it normal for anxiety to make me feel dizzy and like I am going to pass out? Sometimes, I loose my balance and end up laying on the floor because I feel like I am spinning. My vision gets blurred. Or how about hearing the liquid in my ears move (which hurts really bad) every time somebody talks loud. My head always hurts, and I feel like I can never breath. I always feel like I am going to just die. It always makes me cry.  Im so tired of feeling like trash all of the time. It is like I go to bed praying I have a "good" day tomorrow. I hate being in my house all day but I also hate going out. I cant even go out to eat with my family without ending up in a car, cold and alone because I cant be around so many people. How do I fix this? Should I force myself into public so I can learn to get used to being around more people? I cant even attend my sons school parties or go on trips with his class. Im a mother of three beautiful kids, whom I feel I will never be able to take to the park. My husband doesnt understand. He has to drag me out of the house. Then he gets upset because I am scared of getting into a car accient. I AM SCARED OF EVERYTHING. I wont even defend myself anymore because I am scared of getting into a fight. I used to be normal. I used to have hundreds of friends. I used to love to go out, and hang with my family. I was on a drug called Klonopin for my anxiety, but I have stopped taking it because I was having anxiety attacks on it.

Someone please help me........

Mary

BELIEVE ME - it does pass eventually - all these terrible debilitating feelings.  I started having anxiety when I was about 13.....it was the worst during my 20's and early 30's when I shared all those same fears as you have.  I truly believed it would NEVER end and I would end up in a mental institution for the rest of my life.  I did go on Xanax which helped me through the worst of it and I'd say that after a year or so I started to "get better."  I have found that anxiety comes in cycles....after that I didn't suffer with anxiety for almost 12 years.  Then, out of the blue it came back with a vengeance - but didn't last as long because I knew this time what it was all about and knew what I had to do to fight it - take my Xanax (which I never got addicted to and quit with no problems once I was feeling better.)  Now I am 59 years old and suffer sporatically with anxiety that actually interferes with my life but most of the time I just have minor anxiety that I guess I'll always have.  But it doesn't make you CRAZY and it doesn't interfere with your life ALL THE TIME.  If you can remember that "this too will pass" is a very true statement, you'll get through it.  I never thought I would when it first happened and I remember my mother at that time (who suffered with it as well) telling me it would and I didn't believe her.  You're no different than any of us who suffer from this disease but I swear that the more you learn about it and realize how many other people suffer, you get some comfort from that and it eventually helps you to heal.  All the best to you and remember to post whenever you're feeling like this....we are all here for you.

 to i of sheep,

klonapin is basicly the same as xanax but lasts longer, it will help a lot

your xanax dose seems to have been too small for you

Dawn- I hate taking meds to because I fear reactions from them. I love this forum though! It helps me feel better! Im sorry about your divorce. People without anxiety dont understand how it control you. My whole family thinks Im crazy. Because I have kids, I cant bring myself to talk to them about it. I am afarid that they will try to take my children away from me. They think I can control how I feel. Did you get your anxiety after you had a baby? Mine came from postpartum. Go figure. ANyway, thak you to everybody who has responded to me! I am always here to talk if you need to. My AIM name is [email protected]. Please email or IM meif you need to talk.
Thanks,
Mary

Clonazepan is the generic name for Klonopin and is the same drug.

Karen, What is your dizziness like? I mean.....did it, or can it, last all day long for you??? Like a feeling as though you are going to fall over or lose your balance or pass out??? I live with this every day and it is sooo scarey and annoying. I not only get it when I am having a panic attack, but it will still be there off and on even long after the panic attack had gone away.

Thanks!

Dawn

GFK said...
Mary,

When I had my first panic attack in my late 20's (no idea where it came from), I was able to get thru it and was anxiety free for about a year with just therapy (learned CBT, relaxation, etc).

After the birth of my second child it came back full-force along with postpartum depression. I opted for meds that time cause my coping mechanisms were not working this time. I honestly believe A/P is not only "mental" (personality type, thought patterns, etc.) but can also be a chemical imbalance. I never had bad reactions to the meds (I tried zoloft, which didnt work, then paxil which was a lifesaver). I was reluctant to take meds at first, but my doc convinced me that I really needed them. My mom also told me "why suffer when there are safe meds you can take?". As I started feeling better, what she said really made sense.

I still take a very low dose of paxil 10 years later. It takes the edge off so I can comforably deal with the anxiety (panic attacks are rare). Not only can the anxiety take a part of your life away, it affects the whole family. If CBT and relaxation alone dont work, dont be afraid of the meds. Take it from someone who has been there (lol)!

Best of luck,
Karen

PS - I also get the dizziness and vision changes; they are quite common with A/P.

I've never had it last all day. With a panic attack it feels like I will pass out. Otherwise its more a lightheadedness that will cause me to lose my balance slightly (never bad enough to fall down).

When my anxiety is bad I tend to get the stomach problems constantly (acid refulx, etc) with the diziness coming and going. I can see where the constant dizziness would be nerve wracking! (and scary)

You do need to force yourself to get out and to face your fears. The more you withdraw, the more power the anxiety will hold. Dont jump in with both feet tho - take small steps.

How do you feel about therapy? It was really hard for me to go (I'd park down the street and hope noone say me go in), but like I said, it help tremendously. At the least try the on-line CBT (if you post asking for the link, many here will be able to give it to you). Also, like Libby said, Xanax is a med you take as needed and is short acting. Something like that should help you start taking those first steps.

How long ago was your baby born (when the A/P started)? Postpartum can be very difficult. Dont be afraid to ask for help.

Karen

Well I do know one thing... I have panic disorder. My GP once said I might be showing some bipolar tendencies, but my psychiatrist and nurse told me I had nothing to worry about in that field. After reading some of the posts here tonight, I began to panic. A year ago I almost left my relationship of 5 years to be with someone else. I did not exactly seek this out, but I did get involved in it over the internet. My b/f and I were pretty much living in the same house, but not in the same world. We weren't doing too well in our relationship and I felt lonely, vulnerable and sad because of it for quite some time. Anyhow, I had this online relationship going for about a month on/off and it was really hurting the people around me, sometimes I was so consumed by this new person in my life that I was almost apathetic to those around me. Other times, when away from the computer, I cared for them deeply. For months after this incident I worried maybe I was being bipolar (manic) although I was more distraught than happy during that time. I realize that I have been absolutely obsessive about going crazy or having a mental disorder such as bipolar for over a year now... This obsession has caused me much grief, panic, and sleepless nights. My b/f says that although I was acting quite out of character that month, I did not seem to portray bipolar behavior at all. Now here is why I am worried..... I began treatment for hep c about a week ago and I have been under SO much stress. I haven't been getting out of the house-or from my couch at ALL really. I have been stuck in my head, anxiety and panic-ridden for the majority of my days now. Anyhow, my b/f and I have been fighting almost every night for the past 5 nights now (and last year’s incident happened around the same time). The thing is, I sometimes blame him for my situation with the OCD and panic disorder (because ever since we've been together, it has been changing me to no end). I love him entirely, but I just get so upset with him sometimes, and I have spoken of leaving almost every night for the past 5 nights during these fights as well, he has mentioned me moving out as well. Now, what I am trying to figure out is: Am I just over stressed, depressed and convincing myself I am going crazy? Am I making myself so helpless to the point that I threaten leaving because he says he just doesn't care at all anymore? Or could this be bipolar behavior? He doesn't even care enough to take me to the hospital tonight, as he says I am just being obsessive. Okay, perhaps there is truth to that but I am bawling my eyes from sheer terror here. I need to understand if this is normal human behavior to want to leave your spouse when they are being distant, insensitive and hostile- or is it me possibly being bipolar? I guess the real question is: Is he being like this because of me being bipolar or because I have made myself feel crazy by this point? I don't know. I'm so scared. If I found out I was ok, I would probably consider leaving because he has been SO unkind and SO mean for quite some time now. If I found out I was bipolar, well, I guess we could talk- I could apologize, and hopefully he would be more sincere when I need him. Ok---now onto another question. How on earth do I ever know for sure if I am being misdiagnosed or not about being bipolar (if that were the case)? And does medication help a LOT, or will this disorder ruin my life (if I was told I suffered from it)?? Thank you so much. So sorry for the long post (I don't know, maybe even that makes me manic) but I just needed to vent and ask some questions for once and for all. Thank you very kindly. I also want to add that by no means do I feel God-like, happy, or have lots of energy atm. If anything I am the COMPLETE opposite. Well, I do feel 'high' in my head- but I think that is very much stress induced. Thanks again.

Mary great advice given already welcome to HW as you see the support and caring is overwhelming
Please talk to you doc about med s and you can still do CBT and other self help things to get you thru
Many a/p er's get the vison and dizziness problems we are here to support you all the way but I do believe meds may be needed here

Magarooo.........In my opinion the answer to your question is yes I believe so


**1of his sheep ** please there is no need to put ppls posts in all your responces as I am sure the memebers are reding them okay
Thanks

Have a good day all and take care
Lyn

Just to be clear I was on meds while I was learning cbt and I am not against meds. I just think meds by themself can be a trap that prevent you from reaching your full potential :)