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Is my worry legitimate or obsessive?

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Posted 2/22/2007 4:55 PM (GMT 0)
Good morning.  I have always been called the worry wart of the family ever since I was a child.  My g/f has chronic pain issues and takes ALOT of pain medication (before she was on meds, she was a heavy drinker).  Ive seen her overdo her medication many times and it has been a big stressor in my life.  I know she is in pain but I feel she should be taking meds as prescribed and by overdoing them, I feel she is abusing them and using her pain as a crutch to take more meds.  I find it hard to concentrate alot of the time because my mind always focuses back on her and her medication.  She says I am being obsessive about it.  I am seeing a phyciatrist and he has me on generic zoloft 125 mgs per day.  When I first met with him and told him my worries/concerns about my g/f's meds abuse, it didnt seem to phase him (even though I specifically picked a therapist that is an addiction specialist).  Since being on zoloft, I really dont feel any different about things, I still worry alot.  Thanks for letting me vent, I guess Im just looking for opinions.  thanks.
Posted 2/22/2007 5:08 PM (GMT 0)
I would be concerned if it were my partner. I suffer from anxiety/worry alot too and am ALWAYS worried, so youa re nto alone. Have you ever discussed this with her? I fyou fear she would get mad and defensive that would send up a red flag for me. Just my opinion. Not a doctor or any medical proffesional, just one worrier to another. I hope it all works out.

P.S. If your therapist is not being responsive to your worries I would find a new one. remember Doctors don't pick you, you pick them!

Best of luck!
Posted 2/22/2007 6:41 PM (GMT 0)

whilst obviously there is cause for concern we can worry to much and too often about things, if she stopped the pain meds would you find something else to worry about?

zoloft sometimes never works, but needs to be tried for about 6 weeks to see wheher it will work for you

if the pain is psychological maybe the gf should see the shrink also

sometimes fake placebo pain meds are used for people like her, they cant tell the difference

Posted 2/23/2007 6:39 PM (GMT 0)

Good afternoon.  Yes I have discussed this with her and most times it turns into an argument.  There really is no end in sight either because she has chronic conditions and she states she will always be on some kind of pain meds.  Her pain is both physical and phycological.  She is already seeing a shrink too.  Ive been on zoloft for about 6 months now.

And you are right Harry - I would find something else to worry about.  Say she wasnt on pain meds anymore - I would be worried that she would go back to heavy drinking like she used to do or go back on pain meds again.  I do know that if pain meds and alcohol were never in the picture and never a probelm for her from the beginning, I think I wouldnt worry then about our relationship.  I dont worry whatsoever about her being unfaithful with another person and we rarely have any argumetns about money because we are both savers.  So honestly I can say that if meds and booze were never in the picture, I would have no worries abot the relationship.

Posted 2/24/2007 12:28 AM (GMT 0)
I still think even though you are a chronic worrier YOU need to be worried about her overuse of pain meds
Actually she should be

I take many heavy pain meds but I go by the letter with them and if I am not needing a specific one I will not take it at all until I do need it '
I have discussed this issue with a couple of ppl on here and I worry about a good friend of mine also misusing her pain meds
I am praying I will not wake one day to her having overdosed and yes I too worry about everything BUT with this IMHO how do you not worry about those you love so much when you know what damage they can be doing to self
JUST my half penniy worth ..email is under my name at side if you need it
Good luck and keep coming back
LYN
Posted 2/24/2007 3:13 AM (GMT 0)
Adam,

Did you learn CBT with your phyciatrist?? You dont mention it, but I cannot imagine him not doing so. The zoloft alone will not help to change your thought patterns. I also am a worrier (and always have been) and is part of what predisposed me to A/P disorder. CBT helped me get rid of the obsessive worrying to a very large degree (I can still have my moments, but can usually get a handle on it!) Are you sure if alcohol and pain meds were not in the picture that you would not find something else to worry about? I know I would!

If your therapist has not tried to help you through CBT, I would seriously consider finding another. Your worry is legit, but the level you have taken the worry to is not good (hence the A/P). A good therapist will be able to help you work through that.

Best wishes,
Karen
Posted 2/24/2007 12:30 PM (GMT 0)

Adam33

You sound like a very loveing and careing person and you do have every right to be worried. Maybe next time she goes to see her dr you can go with her and talk to him/her with her. I wish you both the best.

Posted 2/27/2007 5:19 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for all the replies and all your kind words.  What is CBT and A/P?  My phyciatrist did not mention that at all, I dont even know what it is, but I would love to know about it so I can

try to get a handle on my worrying.

Posted 2/27/2007 5:33 PM (GMT 0)
Cognitive behavioural Therapy .Changes thinking pattern or ways you think
Anxiety/Panic ......what we suffer from

The CBT is a great thin IMHO and there is an online one @
MoodGymsTrainingPrograms.com..........I have used this and still am I was very skeptical and I have been changed I believe
Give it a shot ........you have nothing to lose only gain
Lyn
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