medication that I'm taking

I always worry about the meds that I'm taking for anxiety, I am on currently on 1 mg ativan three times daily. My anxiety has increased lately and the ativan does not seen to have the same effect as before, I used to cut the pill in half so I wouldn't be taking so much (I'm scared to be addicted) . I have been having trouble sleeping now and my hours are all screwed up. My wife doesn't understand and thinks I need to maybe be hospitalized to get my life back on track. I want to feel better and be on a more regular schedule. I don't want to be addicted to ativan but it's the only thing that makes life bearable. Here are my symptoms, very restless and need to get out and drive in my car till I can calm down when I'm anxious and thats been a lot lately, If I stay home locked in the house to long I get to restless and have to get out and go for a ride ( maybe just to snap reality back into me or just go past were I am comfortable to get that rush of adrenaline in my body). I get sweaty palms and feet that won't go away unless I take my ativan. I can't keep up this pace of constant worry in my life besides my wife is not understanding only because she doesn't have any anxiety issues so she can't deal with it much longer (she has been very helpful and comforting but isn't seeing much progress and it upsets her) I have now been unable to work or work very little so we know we have more pressure of the monthly bills that are plying up, any advice to get my life back on track would be helpful. I have had agoraphobia since the age of 18 (last year of high school) and can not travel more than 10 miles from home. I have many good self help books to read but the internet has been my greatest resource for information, it has also been very unhelpful when I do a Google search I find new diseases I think I'm dying of. If some has been their were I am now and knows of a way to put some joy back into my life I'm all ears, Thanks so much you all seem very understanding and caring in this post.

just a little history


meds that I have been on that helped in the past are as follows:

zolft with the ativan helped out but the zolft made me spacey and out of touch so I just stayed on the ativan.

Paxil also with ativan made me more nervous, didn't help much

I really need help to get over this, I sometimes want to just give the fight and not deal with it anymore but I struggle on day after hoping to just feel better, sometime I think I'm losing my mind and they will be just taking me away in one of those white coats, just having someone to talk to at any time with simular problem may just be what I need right now, Thanks all that reply, David..............................

Yes I do have a therapist only for meds right now since I do not have insurance, she put me on the paxil but after a week it was increasing my anxiety so bad she said to stop taking it, is their an other med like the adavin (cbt) that I can get on that will not increase the level of anxiety and have a that calming effect like the adavin does without feeling spacey, I can't stand that spacey out of touch feeling, David

Maybe ill try a very low dose of Zoloft again, with the adavin.....
what is your thoughts, do some people stay on adavin for life or is the drug just for temporary use.

I cant seem to find the link to the free online cbt training just a bunch of links to all kinds of stuff. do you have a better link to the direct site..............MoodGymsTrainingProgram

Thanks David

Went to Moodgyms.TrainingPrograms .ca and then found a link to the cbt
when it comes up do you mean Moodgyms traing program click on it k
Hope it works for ya
or I will look in archives
LYN