I'm tired of fighting the same thing and losing

Oh, yeah. Definitely. From about mid-December to mid February I was actually doing pretty well. Not perfect, but pretty well. Then a couple weeks ago my stomach problems came back for no apparent reason at all, and that triggered what I know as anxiety/panic attacks. The doctors think my stomach problems themselves are panic attacks, even though I don't always feel physically nervous before they come on.

Anyway, yeah. I was doing okay and then, suddenly, I was worse than I'd been since last November.

It was pretty rough and I'm not even completely out of the woods, yet, but all along I've tried to regard it as a temporary setback. Most of the time I haven't given up hope that I can beat it for good someday, but for now I know that it's something I just have to live with. It's not always going to be easy, and there will be some very bad days and long nights. But there are better days ahead, even if they're followed by not-so-good days.

You mention fears, shortcomings, and faults. Everyone on Earth has them. Even those we admire most are terrible people at least some of the time, and that's not an exaggeration. The best people I know have some of the darkest sides.

I noticed that you have a prayer in your signature. While I'm not one to push religion, perhaps you can draw some inspiration from it. There's only one person in world history who did not have any faults and he loved everyone (literally everyone) as an equal. We can extrapolate a lot of meaning from that fact, and I think one of the most important ones is that we should try not to be hard on ourselves.

Oh yes, very much so! For me it's just a circle of ups and downs. Somedays I am just fine and actually happy and calm, others I am a freaking basket case who just wants to stay in bed and forget the world.

My thoughts get the best of me at times, but I try to just take it day by day and get through it and hope the day goes by fast and move on.