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Posted 5/31/2007 4:02 PM (GMT 0)
I suffer fron geraneral anxiety. IO have court next week for something someone did to me, and I am starting to Panic. Any suggestions
Posted 5/31/2007 4:17 PM (GMT 0)
Don't know if you're on any meds, but you may go to the doc and ask for a very small supply of Xanax or something just to get you through this event. Otherwise, bring someone you love and trust to be at your side. Take notes during the proceedings to take your mind off the panic and on the case. Think objectively...try to pretend the case has nothing to do with you and you're just a person there to observe. If you're testifying, that will obviously be much more difficult. In that case I wouldn't recommend the Xanax. Just depend on the strength of a loved one.
Posted 5/31/2007 4:31 PM (GMT 0)

Very good advice from Debaser.  I find that it helps me to have someone with me that I trust and feel safe with in trying circumstances.  Also, I use .5 mg of ativan when I know I'll be in a stressful situation.  The dentist I go to recently installed little tv screens just over the chair so that you can watch while you get taken care of.  Since I have a real problem in those kinds of situations, it really helped me to totally concentrate on the tv and not on what the dentist was doing.

Resting

Posted 5/31/2007 7:36 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks guys for the suggestions. I do have to testify, as my neighbor assulted me. I do have two loving and caring people to go with me. They have been helping me since the enent happened in February.
Posted 5/31/2007 7:57 PM (GMT 0)

I agree with the others, any valium type med will help a lot

also dont tense up or fight the anxiety, instead relax, accept and breathe deep and slow

Posted 5/31/2007 8:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Butterrfly,
Welcome to Healing Well's A & P forum. You will find many kind and caring people here with lots of experience dealing with anxiety and panic.
I am very glad you have 2 loving people to go with you. Try to remember by the end of the day it will all be over with.
If you have to testify just listen to the question and answer only what they ask you. If the tears fall, that will be ok as you have been traumatized.
Sometimes right before the hearing the attorney for the defendant will settle in the judges chambers and it will be over.
For your sake I hope they offer him the opportunity to move to the South Pole.
Again a warm welcome and keep posting.
Posted 5/31/2007 9:46 PM (GMT 0)
For some reason I assumed this was a criminal proceeding. Even if it is, a plea may be worked out at the last minute and it's possible you will not have to testify. In some jurisdictions the state's attorney will ask the victim whether or not they can accept a plea deal before committing to it. In the end it's his decision (well, actually, it's the judge's), but hopefully he or she will want your input.

It wouldn't be a bad idea to ask the doctor for a SMALL supply of Xanax or similar, but I would advise against taking them until you're sure you're not going to testify. I know it's uncomfortable, but especially if this is a jury trial, the worse your emotional condition is while on the stand the better chance of the defendant doing hard time. It'll be gut-wrenching but possibly worth it in the long run. And when it's over, then you can take a pill to calm you down and that part, at least, will be behind you.

Don't know the specifics of what happened to you, but have you sought counseling or any other treatment for PTSD? Other than the court stuff, how are you handling all this?
Posted 5/31/2007 10:44 PM (GMT 0)
It has been rough, as he is still upstairs from me. I have had many sleepless nights, and extreely intense therapy sessios, that are being held in my apartment, to help me feel secure. I do take meds, and will have extra Valium with me, as my doc. already persribeded it for me.

It is extremely hard, as I could only tell one of my brothers, and one of my sisters, as my dad has cancer, and my sister is having problems with her 26 yr. old who is Bi Polar, and refuses to accept it. He won't take his meds, and skips a lot of appointments, so I can't burden her right now. I guess I will get through the next week, but I don't know how. I go on Friday, June 8th.
Butterflyfairy
Posted 6/1/2007 12:20 AM (GMT 0)
Good advice debase, I never thought about the criminal charges part. I just want to get her through this and your kind and thoughtful words are right on as always.................
Butterfly,
I will be sending ((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) and good vibes on the 7th for you. Also my prayers for your Dad.
Posted 6/1/2007 10:25 PM (GMT 0)
    

       I guess I will share the whole thing. Back in Feb., I was sitting in my living room, and someone know on my door. I asked who it was, and he dsaid Fred. I knew Fred lived upstairs, and never had a problem with him. I opened the door to see what he wanted. As my door opened, my cat got out and ran upstairs. He helped me get  him back in the apartment. I then shut the door, and put my hand on the know. He grabed  me into an emarace, and moaned as is touched my breast all over. I did have on street clothes . He the grabbed my butt, and started squzzing it telling me he like my cute fat ass. Well, I pushed him away, and ran in, locked my door, then called the police and my case worker. Mind you, I haven't been right since. I am a mess as I have to testify next Friday, and talk out loud, and tell them what he did. I think I have to stop now. Sorry.

                Butterflyfairy

Posted 6/1/2007 10:52 PM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry this has happened to you.  This is all great advice. You are not alone.  Continue to post with us.    Everyone here is so nice and understanding.  Your family and friends are a great support system for you.

 

I admire you for dealing with this and not turning the other way!  You are a very strong and brave woman! Good luck with everything.

 

Take care hun,

Mary

Posted 6/1/2007 11:02 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Butterfly,
I know how hard this was for you to write about and that you are so scared. I know you walked into the laundry room and he was the only one in there a few weeks ago and that scared you too.
You also came home from a long weekend with family and someone had superglued your keylock so your key would not work. You had to wait in hallway for over an hour for the suprindendant to get there and replace whole lock.
You are so brave, and so alone but look at how well you do. Your living in your own place and you are still managing well.
You are devoted to your friends and you are loyal to your family. You are always looking for ways to give back to people.
Stay brave, this will soon be a memory and you can file it.
((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) as always.
Posted 6/1/2007 11:24 PM (GMT 0)
In Texas that would be felony sexual assault. I forget the name of the specific charge and the sentencing, but they're tough on it here. If you just looked at the stuff kitt described and connected it with the assault, that's more than enough grounds for a restraining order. Have you pursued that? And if he's convicted on any charges, you can force your landlord to evict him in most states. This is more practical advice and I know it doesn't help with your emotional state. I'm really sorry you had to go through something like this.
Posted 6/2/2007 6:05 AM (GMT 0)
Hi butterfly

Welcome to HW.  And you know i am always here for you.

Love and hugs

Angel xx

Posted 6/2/2007 1:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hey butterfly
Good Morning,
Please don't shut down, talk to us, it will help. Debaser is right and the social worker and police have told you your case is solid so hang on.
Debaser has some good ideas, I know you have the restraining order, but ask your attorney about the other things...............you can do this.
OK? No one has the right to abuse you and I know your hurting and humiliated as well as scared of court...........take my hand. Let me help you along with all the wonderful members of this forum.
Gentle Hugs
Posted 6/2/2007 11:02 PM (GMT 0)
Hi
I am just hoping you come back and read these posts hun
Support is very much needed in this situation and I do hope that you see the outpouring of care and concern
Please dont shut us out and do talk about this IF you care too if not thats okay too
I am keeping you in my heart ,thoughts and prayers
Everyone has given great advice
STAY with us please
I am so sorry you have dealt with so much this last while
Take care and know we are HERE for you
LYN
Posted 6/2/2007 11:14 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Butterfly,
You are like your namesake...you are beautiful and bring much happiness to those around you and though you may appear fragile and even feel fragile, truly inside you ARE strong! Many caring loving thoughts are being sent your way! We wish we could be there with you but in spirit we really are!
HUGS!!!!
janet
Posted 6/2/2007 11:49 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Everyone,

I will be honest, I have not been on the computer until now, 745 pm. I apperciate all the love, care, concern, and support I am getting from everyone.

I am really in bad shape. I have been doing well, until the other day. I guess know I have to testify next week and be in his presence, is starting to get to me. I go from being nausiated, anxios, or depressed, round the clock. I know that what I am going to say and do, is not the best idea, but that will make me feel safer. I will not be back on site, talk to anyone but my family, treastment team, and one friend, untill this is over. Thanks again for you support.

Butterflyfairy
Posted 6/2/2007 11:55 PM (GMT 0)
I know here in Ontario you can testify by video IF you are in this situation
Talk to the Crown or DA depending on where you are
I am sorry that you are not going to be around
Let us know please how you make out
IF u want to only okay
LYN
Posted 6/3/2007 12:01 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Sweetie,
You know I am with you even when you shut down so you do what works for you. I support you and wish I could be in court with you.
My prayers are for you and here are some ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
Love ya
Posted 6/3/2007 3:02 PM (GMT 0)
We all are concerened and hope this turns out to be as quick and as painfree as possible
We will be with you in Spirit
Be strong and know we are here
LYN
Posted 6/3/2007 6:30 PM (GMT 0)
Hello all,
I have heard from butterfly and she hopes to be able to post by Monday.
Today she is spending with her Father.
She is such a good person and tries so hard to hang on...............with our help she will be climbing bluffs soon and maybe someday a mountain.
Posted 6/4/2007 12:11 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the update on Butterfly!
I know to a certain extent how she feels (not being assaulted, thank goodness, but the testifying part anyway! Back in 1993 when my GAD became manifest, I had filed for SSi disability. I ended up having to go before a law judge. I was so terrified of it, I almost backed out! My dad called and talked to the judge's secretary to see what could be done, but there was no way around it. If I wanted a chance to get SSI I HAD TO appear in person before the judge. With GAD and anticipatory anxiety as well, I was a mess for months just thinking about it!!!! But I had family and friends supporting me. My dad went in with me as I was too anxy to deal with hiring a lawyer. So it was just me, dad, the judge, and the secretary. I never knew that a tape recorder could be so intimidating! It was such a relief to get it over with to be sure! I REALLY feel for BUtterfly cuz she has to go before LOTS of people and recount a horrible ordeal...but I truly believe that she will find the strength within herself to do this. I wish her ALL the VERY BEST!
janet
Posted 6/4/2007 2:47 PM (GMT 0)
    

          I am back. This is going to be an extremely difficult week for me. I am hoping for a lot of support from you guys and gals, my new friends, to just send positive words to me throughout the week.

        Whe I cam in last evening, there was a message from a woman DA who is taking my case. She told me in the message that she knew I was extremely anious, and that with her and the Judge, who is suppose to be really good I will have a lot of support. When she calls on Thursday, I will let her know i have two people coming with me too. I should be hearing from difertent people throughout this week, from the Victims units, about the case.

                    Butterfly Fairy

Posted 6/4/2007 4:56 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Sweetie,
Hi there, glad your back and we will cover your back with lots of warm support........................Just remember by Saturday this will be over and you will have time to unwind, glad the DA called you.
You are among many who have had to do tough things and we are all here alive and proud of ourselves for making it through.
You know I support you always, and you know I am sending lots of positive vibes your way..................so grab them.
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