Permanently Unstable?

I've been living with a chronic illness for seven years now and have been hospitialized for it on more than one occasion. When I first stayed in the hospital the disease got out of control and I slowly began to die. The pain became so intense that I began to lose control over my mental state. I would stare at the ceiling for hours while speaking gibberish and talking to people that weren't there. I was almost catatonic and was so far gone from reality that I looked soulless.
0Now that I've gotten better, I've found that my paranoia problems have increased. There are days where I can't leave my home for fear of being attacked or stalked, I purposely isolate myself from everyone else because I just want to be left alone. Even seeing my own parents is cause for me to pray that they won't come and talk to me because I prefer to stay curled up in a ball under my blankets. So now I'm truly beginning to wonder, could that traumatic experience when I was eleven done something to damage my mental state even more? (I've been paranoid all my life, but it's gotten worse over the years) And if so, what can I do if the situation is just going to continue to deterioate?

Silver...can I ask, is it the Chron's that put you in the hospial? I am sorry I don't have an answer to your question, yet only a question of my own!

Thank you for answering hun. The reason I ask is because my Mom has had Chron's since she was 16. She has been hospitalized from it several times, infact the last time was last September, and she is still recovering from it to this very day. It has been a long, hard recovery for her, and for us, the family as well. My Mom seemed to compare to you as well when ti comes to staring at the ceiling and speaking gibberish...so on and so forth. I am sorry you had to go through that at all, let alone, at such a young age. My heart truly goes out to you. Again, no words of advice for you, and I apologize for that. I just wanted to tell you that I am hear with you, feeling what you are feeling, only from the outside view! I wish you all the best!

This is a really big step for me seeing as how I absolutely detest asking for help or even admitting that I'm having a problem. Although my family and friends are very supportive I have always been one to try and solve my problems on my own even if it doesn't work out in my favor. This isn't a life, being paranoid all the time and wondering if the people you care about really are there for you and not just being fake. It's not healthy, it's not natural, and with the added stress of having to start college here soon I'm so afraid I'll have another nervous breakdown and be completely unable to function.