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On Campus Panic!

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Posted 8/18/2007 10:58 PM (GMT 0)
(tab) I went to my school campus to pick up my student I.D. yesterday but I didn't know that it would be some scheduled, highly involved gathering. I just thought I'd be able to pick up the I.D. and go home. Unfortunately, the moment I got to the campus with all those people around I panicked. I was frozen and my heart was racing like crazy. The crowd was making me freak out and I knew I couldn't stay there much longer without making a big scene. I was so scared and I just felt like running. If this is what my every day is going to be like then I don't know how I'll make it at school. I thought that with medication I could handle the crowds but I guess not. sad
Posted 8/19/2007 1:23 AM (GMT 0)

Silver Artemis,

I'm so sorry that you had such a rough time at your campus.  It's hard to go into a situation thinking it will be one way and get hit with something completely different and overwhelming.  Are you in therapy?  Do you know cbt?  If not, it may be a good place to start.  Medication can be a great tool to help with your panic, but it doesn't always take it completely away.  That's why I mention the cbt, I think you need that too.  Hope things improve for you!

Posted 8/19/2007 2:05 AM (GMT 0)
great point JuneBug.

Hey Silver.

Yeah, i think its the fact that you had a certain expectation and were caught off guard by the experience. This made you panic. Totally common thing to happen! I think there is a lot going on when you go to pick up your ID or when school begins. There's a lot of anxiety around all the unknowns. Try not to think school will always be like that! I think its more because you were caught off guard. Maybe you were subconsciously a little more vulnerable ( beginning of the year anxiety, dont know what to expect, so on). Then to be in a situation you expected to be a easy in / out, pick up the ID and bounce sorta thing, but really it was far from it. I willing to bet you there were others just like yourself there having the same problem. School anxiety is rough, so dont get down on yourself. Also, CBT is really a good tool for many people.

You make it at school. I'm willing to bet that your nerves will settle once classes get going and you're in the routine. Until then try and be aware of yourself. If you need to walk away from a situation, do it -- it's ok. All the feelings you experienced are ok to experience. Don't get down on yourself. A lot of people go through what you went through and its a horrible feeling, but you're not alone.

be well and sorry to hear about your rough day.
Dan
Posted 8/19/2007 2:35 AM (GMT 0)
-Thanks for your responses guys. I really appreciate it. Yes, I'm in therapy but it's more for my depression than anything else. I have a severe fear of being in a large group of people and being surrounded by that many just brought all the panic back just like when I first went there and there was a lot of people. My father tries to attend these kind of things with me to give me support but he couldn't be there yesterday and I think that's part of the problem. When I'm alone I feel vulnerable and that just makes the panic intensify.
Posted 8/19/2007 4:33 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Silver,

Will your Father or someone be available to go with you to get your ID?

Also, can you start with going out where you are in a place where there are small gatherings to practice becoming used to being around people alone. Just keep telling yourself, "I am OK".

Gentle Hugs and I hope you can work this out. :)

Posted 8/20/2007 3:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Silver,

Totally hear you. I actually just started a post myself about anxiety to do with change(in my case, moving into an apartment by myself for the first time). I used to get "beginning of the school year" jitters all the time, to the point where these days I almost always subconsciously associate the onset of fall with anxiety. Even certain smells, like fallen leaves, can trigger a bit of panic. Hopefully now that I've graduated and have a steady job that will change. :-P

I would get extremely nervous(my first time ever moving into a dorm was interesting, lemme tell ya), panicky and anxious and it would last for at least a couple of weeks until I settled into the routine. After that, things were generally fine.

Is this your first year at college?
Posted 8/20/2007 9:37 PM (GMT 0)
Give CBT a try artemis. Your school may even offer it free of charge through your psych dept :-)
Posted 8/20/2007 11:02 PM (GMT 0)
Yup, 1rst year of college and panic attacks are abound.
Posted 8/21/2007 12:55 AM (GMT 0)
Agree with CBTgirl. It's worth a shot. If you primarily suffer from depression it may not work, but then again it may. Most universities have graduate students administer therapy; they're closely supervised by their professors. It would be cheap if not free, plus convenient since it's on campus.
Posted 8/21/2007 1:24 AM (GMT 0)
Worst first day ever. I had to take a detour away from the normal route I take that I have just gotten accustomed to and since I'm not familiar with the city I totally got lost. Finally got back on track but totally missed my first class. Frustrated, trudged across campus while getting drenched in the rain since I oh so intelligently forgot my umbrella on the rainiest day of the year. I have problems in my legs and hands so my legs, hands, feet, ankles, and arms were all swollen and painful so I had to walk across campus in a lot of pain while trying to remember where I parked. But after all that I didn't panic once. Not once! Yay!
Posted 8/21/2007 1:58 AM (GMT 0)
Excellent! Good to hear you had a day minus panic attacks. First step...in no time you'll be striding around campus. :-)

It's odd that having a day most people would consider 'crappy'(forgetting your umbrella, getting soaked and lost), can actually sometimes take your mind off...well, your mind.

Keep us posted on how things go.
Posted 8/21/2007 5:10 AM (GMT 0)
HEY HEY. That awesome news, even though the rest of the stuff sucked!

Awesome!
dan
Posted 8/21/2007 6:53 PM (GMT 0)
My second day went much more smoothly. I got there on time, both classes went well, and I only got lost a couple of times in the parking garage :-)
Posted 8/21/2007 7:18 PM (GMT 0)
Silver,

I have gone through the same situation. I get really bad anxiety and panic in school.

I go to therapy once a week and also do CBT.

I am currently taking .5mg of klonopin which really helps on a as needed basis..
Posted 8/21/2007 9:10 PM (GMT 0)

Silver, Yehaaaaaaaaaaaaa...........you are awesome and you made it through the obstacles that  sprung up in front of you.  Keep it up and do consider the CBT.

Kudos to you my friend.

Kitt

Posted 8/22/2007 9:52 PM (GMT 0)
I did start panicking today for no reason. I was just sitting there and all of a sudden my heart started racing, I became very paranoid, and I started to hyperventilate. I eventually had to break down and take a Xanax which I keep with me always just in case I have moments like this.
Posted 8/22/2007 10:16 PM (GMT 0)

Hello,

If you needed to use a Xanax, it is ok.  But you are doing great so don't let that throw you. (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

Posted 8/23/2007 6:38 PM (GMT 0)
Man when i read ur first post about " getting ur ID and thinking it would be an in and out thing and then finding it was a group thing" it was like hearing myself talk. i wanted to reply with lol (not to make light of the situation but of actually hearing someone like me).

I did one year of college before i had anxiety and i was still very nervous. i returned 2 years later when i had anxiety and dropped out within 2 weeks. I am now 25 and i started a job yesterday and walked out after being there less then 2 hours. i dont know what i'm gona do

why does this place not have avatars i cant see what ppl look like mad
Posted 8/24/2007 6:35 PM (GMT 0)
Kevin you may want to give CBT a try too yeah
Posted 8/24/2007 6:51 PM (GMT 0)

debaser said...
Agree with CBTgirl. It's worth a shot. If you primarily suffer from depression it may not work, but then again it may. Most universities have graduate students administer therapy; they're closely supervised by their professors. It would be cheap if not free, plus convenient since it's on campus.

Debaser, I just want to add that CBT even worked well for my depression. Not saying it will for everyone but it did for me. I heard that anxiety and depression usually go hand in hand. Take care.
Posted 8/24/2007 8:04 PM (GMT 0)
It's all such a very big change for me and I've never handled change well. I suppose it's going to take some getting used to for me and for my body as well.
Posted 9/21/2007 6:32 PM (GMT 0)
How's school going for you artemus? I hope you have been able to adapt and flourish :)
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