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Anxiety and/or depression? Help :(

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Posted 10/14/2007 4:42 AM (GMT 0)
I've been dealing with a vestibular disorder that's been giving me anxiety problems for the past 10 mths. Thursday I had an appt with a new Dr who ordered a full checkup finally starting with blood tests. Friday morning went in to get blood drawn and got a B12 shot. I was feeling pretty ok both days.

Today has been horrible. Nausea is back (usually a side effect of the ear stuff), anxiety way up there. Started crying maybe 5 - 6 times today, without provocation really, just because I felt so bad. Eating is a chore. I try to make myself eat but it's hard. Nothing tastes good and it feels like I have to force the food down and try to keep from getting more nauseous.

Took 0.25 xanax earlier in the day because I had to work and somehow had to get through that. That made me tired of course. It relieved the nausea somewhat and allowed me to eat a little more for lunch. I've stayed very tired/exhausted all day. Nausea keeps coming and going. Broke out in tears a couple more times. Managed to eat some popcorn, chocolate, and a protein bar... the thought of real food is a no-no.

What's wrong with me? I've dealt with the nausea before and the anxiety that comes with it. But this crying stuff, complete lack of appetite, and feeling sooooooooooo tired....... that's new to me. Could I be getting depressed on top of the anxiety?

I feel so horrible. I don't know what to do to get through this. I'm not going back to the new Dr to review the blood tests and do the physical check up till next Friday. Long time.

Help :(
Posted 10/14/2007 7:30 AM (GMT 0)
It sounds like you could be depressed, when I stay in a highly anxious state for too long I start crying. At the same time something like a low iron count could be the cause, please discuss it with your doc next week.

Posted 10/14/2007 5:14 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for your reply.

I told the Dr Thursday that I haven't been feeling well, no appetite, can't handle stress without starting to cry. Yesterday was much worse. Usually my anxiety comes in waves and then lets up. Yesterday was all day of very bad, bad, and less bad.

When I woke up this morning, I could've started crying again. But wasn't feeling nauseous yet so I ate something real quick before that started. Now I'm feeling queasy again, but not full out nauseous. Trying to fight back the anxiety.

Just feel horrible. I dont know how to snap out of this. :(
Posted 10/14/2007 5:57 PM (GMT 0)

Kiki,

Hi this is Kitt.  When I was at my lowest point I would wake up in the morning and just start to cry before I even got out of bed as facing another day with the depression weighing me down was overwhelming.  I felt like nothing was helping me, the meds, the Doctors, or my family.  I felt all alone and hopeless.  I was in a deep depression.  So I agree you may have depression along with the anxiety.  The two go together frequently so please talk with this Dr. on Friday.

Now the physical problems with your ears..............are you taking antivert or anything for the dizziness which is probably kicking in your nausea.  I cry when I am physicially ill too.  I don't tolerate being ill well.  I am a nurse and therefore a caregiver. I take care of people and when I get sick I always wonder if I will ever get well. 

That of course is our warped thinking.  Everyone has to take care of themself first or you are not able to be there for others. nono

Keep posting and let us support you.  Gentle hugs to you. yeah

(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

Posted 10/14/2007 7:25 PM (GMT 0)

Kikki

I have been dealing with vestibular disorder since last October too.......I have BPPV,which is benign vestibulare vertigo.....and this condition caused me a lot of anxiety and depression too....so the dr put me on lexapro 10mg(antidressant),and klonopin.....and helped me alot......I am just now off of the antidepressant and taking klonopin as needed.Ask your dr for Klonopin instead of xanax,it has a longer life.....and ask him too for lexapro to try it....if you want to.......it really did help traumendously.

Michs

Posted 10/15/2007 3:34 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you guys so so much for being there. I'm having a really, really hard time dealing with this right now. Usually I can get through it, take a xanax, it gets better. It's not really happening now.

I was on the way to a panic attack this morning after I posted. My husband had left for the gym, I was alone, the nausea was kicking back in... that was it. So I ended up taking a xanax and then loaded up a game to play to distract myself. The 2 together helped me get through the day but I'm still feeling off. I could start crying anytime.

I really hope the new Dr will be able to help. I can't go on like this anymore. But that's not till Friday and right now, that seems like a long long LONG time from now.

I'm not on medication for my ear stuff, just rehab exercises. I got some new (more challenging) ones on Thursday, it's possible they set me off again and started the nausea. Xanax suppresses the vestibular system, though, so that's a nice side effect when I take it. Nausea, motion sickness, dizziness all goes away too.


Micha - that's what I was diagnosed with too. BPPV. I've tried lexapro before when all this started but it just made me feel horrible and it was before I was dx'ed with BPPV. The Dr just thought I had anxiety. I'll definitely talk to my new Dr about this though. She doesn't know much about vestibular disorders but her husband is a psychologist, so she might know a little about that.

I really hope so.

I'm feeling pretty miserable right now. I'm tired of this. Just want it to go away. :(

Thanks again so much for your replies. It really does help.
Posted 10/15/2007 4:30 AM (GMT 0)

I am so sorry you are going through this...coming here and talking about this as well as sharing it with others is the best thing to do.

I hope you soon feel better and keep posting as we all care.

Hugs

Posted 10/15/2007 1:56 PM (GMT 0)

Kikki,

I donno how bad you have with BPPV....did you do the epley manoeuver? I had it done....and it helped alot.....I've had BPPV since last October...I have it in my left ear.....first big attack hit me in October last year,I had to call EMS cause it was so frightening to me...the vertigo woke me up in the middle of the night.....bad bad vertigo....room was spinning in my head...horrible...the second time it hit me in january,but it was very mild...and so far no recurrence..after my second attack I had the epley manoeuver done and it worked...I do have days when I am nauseated and dizzi....and imbalanced.....I use klonopin and it helps and I use phenergan instead of meclizine...and works great......I think that anxiety makes this condition worse Kikki.......I am not on lexapro anymore but it really helps big time.....I think that you need to give it time to work....along with klonopin untill it kicks in......I am not on it anymore cause I learned now how to live with it..........and phenergan and klonopin are enough for me now........like I told you in my previous post ask your dr for klonopin instead of xanax...it lasts longer.....and if you want to give the lexapro a try,or celexa...cimbalta?you might need it right now cause you are very anxious ....scared...it will help....ask your dr too about the epley manoeuver.........I have an excellent ear doctor.....I go to the ear clinic......they are awesome.........I hope you feel better Kikki.....how long have yoy had it?

Micha

Posted 10/15/2007 2:08 PM (GMT 0)
KikkI...I read your post again...and you said you've had it for 10 months....how many attacks did you have?how did it start?what kind of vestibular rehab do you get? you have to see an ear doctor.....they are specialized in treating BPPV....do you have an ear clinic where you live?..and in your post you say that you've been crying alot now...you havent been eating.....seems to me like depression......you need to treat it....xanax by itself is not good...cause it is a downer and will make you more depressed since you dont have only anxiey.....an antidepressant is a must(it is my personal opinion)discuss it with your dr....
I know Kikki how annoying this condition is.....but it is a lifethreatening condition......you will learn how to cope and live with it........you can go to the dizzy lounge......and chat with them...here is the link..http://thedizzylounge.com/thedizzy_forum/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=&f=10
Micha
Posted 10/15/2007 5:29 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you again.

Micha - I had the first vertigo attack back last Dec and it's been recurring monthly since then. The ENT I went to see thought it was BPPV but I never managed to get an appt when I had the actual vertigo attack. I was diagnosed positively a little over a month ago now when I was sent to a Balance Center (vest. rehab), and I had an attack the day before one of the rehab appts.

She did the Epley maneuver and the spinning did go away. I had my last attack 2 weeks ago now and treated it myself with the Epley. Went away. I'm still seeing the rehab therapist every 2 weeks. Last time was Thursday when she gave me new visual exercises.


I'm going to ask the Dr about all this. The anxiety has been coming back so much lately, it hasnt been this bad since this whole thing started. It's really wearing on me. I'm so tired of all of this. By now I'm willing to take something daily to get through this.

Today isn't going to be fun either. Have a couple of long drives ahead to (work) appointments through rush hour traffic. Ugh. :(


Thank you Micha and Kitt. So much.
Posted 10/15/2007 5:53 PM (GMT 0)
If I was you and having to drive etc...I would take xanax....but I would take 0.5mg instead of 0.25mg.......it is up to you..
Be patient Kikki....I am sure that your anxiety is making your situation even worse...I really know how you feel....
Take care!!!
Micha
Posted 10/15/2007 5:56 PM (GMT 0)
I honestly think that along with all you are dealing with you are also dealing with some very deep depression

Yes it has to be treated
I know I could not stop crying although I felt I had NO tears left in me to come out ......they did ......and all the time no matter what I was doing
My daughter would just come to talk and I would be crying .........

I finally caved in and admitted to self that all my illnesses and the loss of hearing as well as other health issues had a tight grip on me and was pulling me into a huge dark hole

I am so thankful for the ppl here and my doc and family ( daughter) that helped me outta that hole

Make sure you tell your doc you are crying constantly and I am sure he will ask you a few more questions to get to the Depression

Keep posting and let us know how it goes Plz

LYN
Posted 10/15/2007 5:57 PM (GMT 0)

how did ur spinning start Kikki? and how long the first attack lasted for?

Micha

Posted 10/15/2007 6:00 PM (GMT 0)
Kikki....LOL..I need to correct something in my previous post....I meant to say that BPPV is NOT a life threatening condition.....God I made you feel worse .....lol.....so sorry......
Micha
Posted 10/16/2007 2:52 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you guys so much. Just reading your responses is making me feel better.

I actually managed to get through the day without having to take xanax. Fortunately I didn't have to drive, just sit in the car and be friendly and attentive at the appointments. This morning was rough though. Had to go to the bank and get some stuff done first, and they didn't know what they were doing and we were running late for the first appointment and my husband got upset because everything was taking so long which made me upset... and I ended up crying in the bank. O.o

Back in the car he apologized for making me upset and that set me off again and started another 10-15 mins of crying.

I've never been a person to show emotions much, even in front of people I know well. This is just so out of character for me. :/

On the bright side, the nausea subsided a little throughout the day and I managed to eat without feeling too sick. Just not feeling nauseous helps with feeling less anxious. Not so much with feeling so down tho.


Lyn - Thank you. That's exactly what it's like. I just keep crying and crying, and sometimes I don't even know what's setting it off. Then it kind of goes away, and I'm feeling a little better and wonder what in the world is wrong with me... and then it just comes back.

I will tell the Dr that it's been getting worse. I really, really hope she can recommend something. And yes, I think I'm finally getting to the point where this constant feeling unwell is taking its toll. There's hardly ever a moment when the dizziness/feeling off isn't at the very least in the back of my mind even during the times when I'm feeling 90-95%, no matter what I do. And that's been going on for months and months. It just feels like it's too much now.


Micha - yea lol, I figured you meant BPPV wasn't life threatening. The first time I had it, I woke up in the morning, turned around and everything was spinning out of control. Sat up, it started again. The violent spinning went away pretty quickly, less than a minute probably, but if I moved my head wrong, it came back. I kept feeling a little off balance, just not quite right. That lasted for probably 2-3 weeks. During that time I had the panic attack and everything went downhill from there.

I also had a lot of other stress during that time, that probably didn't help. Things just came together all at the wrong time and here I am, 10 months later, still trying to fix myself.
Posted 10/16/2007 3:16 AM (GMT 0)
Kikki,
Yes,you are getting very emotional.....you are very nervous,anxious and depressed.....things will get better....I am sure......
So ...your nausea subsided and managed to eat...that's good......
Keep us posted with your appointment with your Dr...
Micha
Posted 10/16/2007 8:08 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks. I stopped doing my vest rehab exercises for now cause I'm just feeling too horrible. I know I should continue them but just can't do it right now.

Got a letter from my ins co yesterday and found out I'm having to pay $400 per rehab session. They told me the ins co would be covering it at the balance center when I started. So now I've been there like 6 times or so....... geez :(

Going to have to call them and see what we can do. I can't afford to pay $2k+ right this second. Just had to pay taxes and a whole bunch of other stuff and definitely didn't plan in an expense that large at all.

When it rains, it pours and all that.... sad
Posted 10/16/2007 8:43 PM (GMT 0)
Kikki...I never had to do vestibular rehab...only the epley maneuver.......sometimes those exercises make it worse.......really.........are you constantly dizzy? do you still have the spins? if yes...then you need to do the epley...only........I guess.......you need to go to an ear clinic.....they are the best.....period! Gosh ...you are spending a lot of money on rehab.way to much.......
Micha
Posted 10/16/2007 8:51 PM (GMT 0)
They told me I had to do the rehab exercises to totally compensate for this or it would probably never go away completely. I don't feel dizzy constantly, but I feel just slightly off-balance sometimes, like I'll be walking and suddenly I feel like i just stepped into a hole. Then there's the nausea... that's motion sensitivity. I feel like i'm sea sick. Or pregnant lol. (I'm not! lol) The exercises are supposed to help with that but it's a long process.

The place I've been going to, that is their specialty. So they should know what they're doing. But they're also the ones who told me that my ins co would be paying for the visits. >.< I just talked to the lady there and she said just to hang on to the statement for now and not to worry about it till I get anything from them.

Oh well. I guess there's really no use worrying about it. What's done is done and whatever comes out of it, that's what it'll be. Worst case scenario, I'll have them set up a billing plan or something.
Posted 10/16/2007 9:00 PM (GMT 0)
I went thru this too....feeling nauseous,off-balance,feeling like stepping into a whole....wow.....exactly the same feeling....sea sick....yes....comes and goes...now I am fine.....when i feel nauseous I take a phenergan....and I take klonopin 3 times a week....seems to work....I am thinking too getting back on lexapro.....will see how it goes....
Micha
Posted 10/16/2007 9:31 PM (GMT 0)
I'll ask the new dr about something to help with the nausea. That seems to be the no 1 thing that sets off the anxiety big time.

Weird how you're having the exact same thing, lol. It's such a strange thing and for months I couldn't figure out what in the world was going on cause the BPPV had gone away, yet this stuff was still there on and off.

You had the 2 BPPV attacks in Oct and Jan (?) and you're still feeling this on and off?
Posted 10/16/2007 10:48 PM (GMT 0)
Yes,2 attacks.....big one while tossing in bed in the middle of the night and the second in January....I was awake,in the morning in bed,laying down,and I turned my head somehow and I felt it coming...it started to spin...so I sat up right away and started to focus on something small on the wall untill it stopped...lasted only few seconds....and since ...I was fine for a while then I started to feel weird things...I would be walking at the mall then I would feel all of a sudden like if I stepped in a whole....so weird....scary...I avoided malls for a while...even big stores like walmart etc.....the shelves would make me dizzy.....another episode at the pool,we have a pool,and one time I was sitting right next to the pool ,it was windy,so the wind created some waves and just looking at the waves made me so nauseous.....weird things....I knew it was my inner ears.....very annoying....I know that it is my left ear that is affected,so I make sure to sleep at night with 3 pillows under my head....and I try to avoid to sleep on my affected ear.......so ,yes,BPPV has affected my life,but I am learning to cope with it.....not easy...
Micha
Posted 10/16/2007 11:00 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Kikii,

Sorry to hear your feeling this way, but i do agree with the others, i beleive you are suffering from depression, with all the signs alot of people (including myself) get.

I would cry for no apparent reason, and tell myself to stop being such a sook (sook is a slang word for cry baby in Aus..lol), im 34 and im crying?.Whats with that?.

I felt alone, didnt want to do anything, Even though my chef career was the thing that kept me going, i didnt even want to do that.

I also recommend you see your Dr. and let him know so you can get the nessacery meds, And of course talking about things here at HW really dose help alot. The people here are the most understanding and caring people, and are always here for you as am i.

Hope you start feeling better really soon, and were here to help in any way we can..

(((HUGS))).. :-)

Posted 10/17/2007 4:28 PM (GMT 0)
Micha - weird, I can usually feel when I'm going to have another vertigo attack too. I start feeling kind of funky a couple of days before. I still lie on my right side (my affected side) in between attacks although when I wake up in the mornings, I'm always on my left. So I guess my body knows better than me, lol.

I have the problems at the big stores etc too. Right now it's pretty bad. I can tell my vision is off. That's probably what's making me nauseous. The PT gave me this new exercise for visual stuff and it gave me a hard time. That might have set it off again. I actually managed to do some of my rehab exercises yesterday, just short versions, including the visual one!

Did they give you any exercises to do to get over the residual symptoms?


liquid - thanks for your support. I'm 34 too and I feel silly when I act like this. And yes, i don't want to do anything. Just feel like my energy level is... well, there is no energy. I feel tired, exhausted, worn out. I want to go out and do things but then I'm just so tired. :/

Dr appt on Friday. 2 more days....
Posted 10/17/2007 10:24 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Kikii,

Hang there for 2 days, i know its not easy right now but it does get better with time and the right medication.

Joining the family here at HW has helped me immensly as well, the people here are great for support and we all care, it does help to talk to others who know what your going through, as they understand.

I will be thinking of you, hang in there, and even though you may not feel like it, or it may seem a waste of time, reasure yourself it will get better, and if you need to talk were all here for you.

(((((HUGS)))))... :-)

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