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I lost my job and feel totally lost!

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Posted Yesterday 3:20 PM (GMT 0)

Hello all,

I am feeling completely lost and am freaking out, like I've been dropped off in the middle of a desert, and it's just easier to crawl into a hole than try to find my way out.  I lost my job yesterday and I don't know what to do.  As I mentioned in a previous post, I'm an office manager and I'm clearly not cut out for it.  This job has caused me way more stress than I could possibly handle, and though it's not been the only thing, I know it's been a huge contributor in making me feel so crappy and anxious all the time.  I mean, I feel anxious just being here everyday and I'm always scared of having an anxiety attack in front of my co-workers.  My boss pulled me into his office and told me that I'm just not doing a good enough job and that I look stressed all the time, and spent 30 minutes telling me everything I've done wrong since I've been here, so I gave my notice before he could fire me.  I've always struggled with my confidence, but that was a huge blow for me.  Now I'm just filled with more anxiety and fear about what I'm going to do.  I have no clue what to do now.  I just want to crawl in a hole and hide until this all goes away, but of course it won't.  When I told my boyfriend, he said, well, you better start looking every free second of your days.  This should motivate you to find something else.  And yeah, maybe it should, but I'm terrified to start looking.  I don't know what to look for.  I've gotten stuck in this administrative field because it's been all I know how do.  I'm not happy doing it, but I have no experience doing anything else.  I don't know what my real interests are, I feel like I don't know anything and I'm having all this fear that I'm not gonna be happy in any job, and I'm gonna freak out, go crazy, be unemployed, and lonely because my boyfriend and friends won't want to deal with me anymore!!!  Please help!

Sorry this is so long, but as always, thank you for listening and providing a safe place to vent.  You all are great!

Posted Yesterday 3:38 PM (GMT 0)

Good Morning,

I am so sorry that you have lost your job.  I think 30 minutes was a long time to talk with you if your boss was looking for a resignation.  I would have caved in 10 minutes so your tougher than you think, sweetie.

Are you in any kind of position to look for a job in a different field?  Something less stressful where you could be a worker bee instead of in management.  It may not pay as well but the stress free position would be worth a cut in salary.

Please remember you are a good person and anxiety is not who you are, it is a disorder that you deal with and I know right now it feels like this is horrible and never going away.  It will get better again.  I know as I have lived with it most of my life and I am much older than you I am sure. :)

So keep posting and give yourself a hug.  Turn you negative thoughts into positive thoughts and know we care.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

Posted Yesterday 4:10 PM (GMT 0)

Thank you so much, Kitt for your kind words.  With resigning, I was able give a 2 week notice and have 2 more weeks of pay, which I really need.  Fortunately, I have my own health insurance, so I won't lose that from them, but I will have to have money to pay for it on my own. 

I would like to look for something in a different field, I just have no experience in anything else, and finding any transferable skills I might have, and selling myself just seems very daunting.  I have to make enough to support myself, but you are right, less pay would be worth it to not be so stressed all the time. 

Hugs to you too!

Posted Yesterday 4:33 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Green,

I lost my job too and have found its a terrible time of year to be looking. I lost my confidence, self esteem, became very anxious and have been suffering panic attacks. I'm not through it yet, but have decided I must pull myself up (by my very short bootstraps at present). Support from friends and this forum have been invaluable. I know something will pop up for me when the time is right. I just keep putting in applications over the internet. I had one interview but know I blew it because I was so nervous I was shaky - at least I put myself out there.
I try to give myself positives for what I know I can do - I am a worthwhile person and there is something out there for me that is a good fit. I tell myself many folks have lost more than I have and at least I have some abilities of value that can contribute to some decent organization. Take a little time off to give yourself a break and get over the horror of your experience. If you go out right away and just interview for anything - you might find yourself in a worse situation. Its great you are evaluating what went wrong with your last job & why. Let me know how it goes & remember your job does not define you. I am trying to define my next job now as something that wil be more fullfilling and where I feel valued.
Posted 12/4/2007 2:37 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Cary,

Thank you for telling me your story.  It's good to know that someone else understands.  I'm trying to pull myself up.  I'm going to meet with a career counselor today, which should be good, but unfortunately, it will probably be the only time I am able to meet with her, since she is expensive and unemployment is looming around a very close corner.  It sounds like you're hanging in there OK.  You're telling yourself good things at least.  I am trying to tell myself those things too, that there must be something out there for me, and that I must have something worthwhile to contribute somewhere.  It's hard though, because like you, my confidence is really down right now.  I just want to be happy, and feel like what I do matters.  Thanks again, and keep me posted about your situation as well.

Best wishes!

Posted 12/4/2007 3:23 PM (GMT 0)

Hey greeneyedgirl friend,

You do make a difference in everything you do and you will find a job.  Just keep staying in the moment and keep your sense of humor. 

I wish you the best with the counselor.  Keep us posted.

You are in our hearts and on our minds.

Hugs

Kitt

Posted 12/4/2007 5:16 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Green,

Being unemployed too - I find it really difficult in the mornings - deciding what to do each day - matinees are a God send. After spending a couple weeks applying for everything imaginable & getting only 1 call I was point blank told companies don't hire now as they need to balance out year end & work out their plans for next year. Although I sort of believe this as its been a bad year for spending I do know its a lazy time for most companies that are planning holiday parties and not thinking real hard about hiring.

So I've decided to let December be my "down" month to recover my self esteem, confidence, and try to relax and get as rested as possible so I'm able to well in interviews (hopefully in Jan.) I'm reading uplifting books and noting too intense (like Buddist exercises I can't do anyway). I actually find the news helps too - always someone worse off. I can feel my body beginning to relax & I think its exactly what I need to feel & look my best for future interviews. Good Luck & let me know how you're doing. How was career counselor?
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