Falling Apart....again

Hey, its been awhile since I posted on a/p, but I am in need of more venting. I have been having ups and downs with the Fibro, but my a/p and depression are whats really bothering me. I had a bad day yesterday as I got in a fight with my sister. I wont go into details..(as that would take to long)

It actually all started at school. I have been very anxious and panicky at school lately, not sure why. But, I had an anxiety attack and after it I was left in a bad mood. One of those where someone can look at me funny and I break. Got home. Got in a fight. Left. Came home. My same sister and brother got into it. Its was a bad day. After my fight I was so angry and I hit the door... yea, my hand looks pretty bad...and I know it wasnt the right choice, but it just happened in the moment. After I calmed down, I just started freaking out and I couldnt breath... a panic attack came next, of which I would rather not think about.

So, its been hard emotionally. I have been having really bad headaches the past couple weeks and I am not sure if its just a headache, stress related, or just thinking so much. I have just been feeling on edge alot like something is about to happen or I am about to have a nervous breakdown. I just feel like cracking. Exploding. Crying hysterically. Slumped in a dark corner. With my hands over my head. Not knowing whats happening. Scared to death. Thats how I imagine it anyways... Plus, thats kind of how it happened before...

Anyways, I am not really sure what I should do. I am, however, talking to my teacher more about my anxiety, I am just not sure how to explain it. I just feel like I want to go psycho all over the place... I am about to burst. I told her about my anxiety attack I had in her class yesterday. But, I am just not sure what else to tell her. I am just not sure how to explain my feelings...

Well, thanks for letting me vent. I am trying my best to talk to her. I know she cares and she would want to know. I am trying my best to figure it all out on my own, but that just isnt happening for me. I can only do so much myself...

thanks

Thanks. I am more able to talk to my teacher now. I am not sure why, I just feel a closer connection to her now and I trust talking with her. Yes, I have a school counselor. I went to her every week for about 4 or 5 months. I quit going because I felt she could no longer help me. She wasnt doing a great job at it really.

After the anxiety attack I was just left in a confused state. I was in a bad mood for some reason. Normally I am left very depressed after one, but this one ws different. I was really depressed and in a bad mood so I did take it out on others.

I have been working very hard to overcome them, and I did for about a month or so, but they came back about 2 months ago... I have been trying my best to fight it but, it just doesnt seem possible to do it alone. But, I am trying, at least until I can get real help.

Thanks.

Panike, that is exacting what I mean!!!! I feel exactly how you described! Its very nice to know someone understands what I am talking about! Thanks!