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(((Panike)))

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Posted 2/27/2008 12:40 AM (GMT 0)
Hey, I actually wanted to thank you for last night. We had a lot of fun at first and then we got to the serious stuff. I just wanted to let you know that I was drentched in tears with everything that you said. I was sad at first because I thought about what you were saying and how we both go through it. But, I was happy at the same time. I felt free. I felt like for once someone truly knew the exact feelings I have everyday. All those things you were saying, I have cried myself to sleep countless nights thinking about all of that. It really hit me hard that what I feel is so real.

I was up really late and freaked out because I needed to be in bed and I hadnt doen anything yet so....I had to rush and get my school stuff ready, take my medicine, and everything else I have to do before I go to bed. All the time your chat was replaying over and over again in my head. I didnt go to bed until after 12. I didnt get much sleep and I didnt think I was going to go to school because I didnt feel good.

Surprisingly, I didnt feel that bad this morning. Thank God for my medicine!!!! I actually get to sleep so I was able to work with 5 hours of sleep. I had a bad morning, but 2 pd... I told my teacher all about last night!!! I told her how I felt and how it affected me. She knew about my anxiety and panic but we really havent discussed it in detail. But, I talked to her for like 2 hours! We both asked questions and it was really good! I feel reassured now because I talked to her more openly and I also always wondered if what I was saying to her scared her, her statement was, "No, its part of life." So, I felt really good about it. She said baby-steps and reassured me I would make it and we would work on it together. I feel like I can tell her more now until I have finally told her my whole story.

Thanks so much for last night! You helped me more than you know! If you want to chat let me know. I know Baby T isnt up to it tonight so... just let me know. And thanks again for everything!

Posted 2/27/2008 1:11 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Tennis! I'm so gald that i coul help you,I've been dealing with this stuff for so long sometimes i feel like a panic attack genius! lol! Tennis i think that you are on the road to recovery now especially since we cried together and let things out last night! Sometimes all it takes is to know that someone else out here is going through what you are going through and talking to someone that understands.I remember when i first started having symtoms of anxiety i would go to the ER 3-4 times a week sometimes.Unlike yourself i kept telling everyone i knew about all these strange feelings i was having,mainly family and no one understood.I felt like i was going to lose my mind! Then when my mom decided to start listening she was actually the one who helped diagnose me because she experienced some anxiety when she was in her 20"s. At that time i was about 23.She keyed in on some of the symtoms i was having and told me she thought that's what it was.(P/A) Then i went back to the DR. and told him and he put me on meds but just the thought of knowing i wasn't losing my mind and there was a name for this thing helped me tremedously! Then when i started talking to other people i soon learned i was not alone and i was soooo happy! And thats when things got better for me.I still have my days when i break down like last nite but at least i know i am not alone and nor are you sweety!
Posted 2/27/2008 2:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hi tennis i hope you are having a great day in school! I had fun with you guys in the chat room last nite even though Katey and i had the mis understanding,We appologized to each other and i think everything is ok.I hope you are still doing well and i hope to get to talk to you real soon sweety! I'm glad we got the chance to get to know each other and i'm glad that you felt i helped you with your anxiety.In around about way i think you helped me with mines as well! You are such a sweet person and you deserve the best out of life! Just remember you are still young and you still have plenty more growing to do.Maybe this feeling you've been having is something you may grow out of in the long run! I love you and i wish you the very best! Try not to be so hard on yourself.There is only so much a person can endure!
Posted 2/27/2008 4:32 PM (GMT 0)
Awwww this so sweet. Panike and Tennis its so great that you two connected like that and could help one another. Way to go!!!!
Posted 2/27/2008 8:47 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks. School was actually post-poned for a couple of hours because it snowed and here when it snows less than an inch people freak out!! I know you didnt mean anything to Katy, but you guys really scared me. I felt really bad and I hate it when people are fighting. I tried my best to stop you guys, but in the moment you guys wouldnt listen. So, I left. I was feeling it coming on really bad so... but I was ok after that. Lets just put it behind us and not worry about it!!!

I am very glad I got to talk to you all last night! I told you guys 3 out of my 4 deepest darkest secrets so that is really huge!!! I was ok talking about them also because you all understand and are behind me all the way!! Thanks for all of your help!
Posted 2/28/2008 12:55 AM (GMT 0)
NO,Thank you tennis you helped me let it all out too! I'm sorry that i scared you i didnt mean too.I like to joke around alot and i guess i thought Katey would respond like you and Baby would have being that i was only joking.I had no idea she would get upset over something that small,i was only playing.But i have to respect that some people are just really sensitive and now that i know that about her i will be careful what i say next time.I hope there aren't any hard feelings between any of us.I saw where you told Kitt that Baby would not be posting here for a while,i hope that it isnt because of last nite.When you talk to her tell her i love her and i hope we are still friends.I hope you and i are still friends too Tennis.We bonded well together.We also helped each other with our panic attacks! I'm so glad you trusted me with your secrets i'm sure not being able to share that with other people was causing some of your anxiety.I will keep your secrets safely locked away in my treasure never to be revealed to anyone! Love you Tennis,please post here again.If not i will miss you tons!!!!!
Posted 2/28/2008 1:06 AM (GMT 0)
Pan! Stop worrying! I am not going anywhere remember!! We are sticking together, here for each other! I would never leave that! Its ok, I didnt know my body would react to that situation like that. I guess because you all are such good friends it made me uneasy! I didnt know that would happen! ITs ok, I wouldnt worry, katy is our friend and she knows that you are sorry! We know you didnt mean it! I hope you will still joke because you make me smile so much and I need that!

I thought about you a minute ago!!! My left eye has been twitching for a little while!! Everytime it happens I think of you now! lol

Baby isnt posting for a while because she needs space. She just needs a break. I know how that is... dont worry. She is just having a hard time and needs time to adjust. I will tell her what you said!

I do trust you and it helped me so much being able to share my secrets with you all! I was able to be accepted and you all care about me so much and I am so grateful! Thank you so much! I have never been able to talk about stuff and I am starting to open up more and more and that is all because of you guys! You all have helped me be able to find my voice and use it! I am not able to talk out loud about the things I told you guys last night, but I am working toward it! I am working on telling my teacher what I told you guys, except the personal secret! lol If you know what I am talking about!

I wouldnt think of leaving! I love you guys to much! Thanks!
Posted 2/28/2008 1:20 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you Tennis for reassuring me that you will still be here because i need you.You give me strength!I will probably go to the chat room later on.I'll just have to see if i dont get sleepy or not.Oh, i forgot to tell you guys i guess because of everything that was going on,i got a new job.I will be starting tommorrow morning,so i want be up too late i need to get a fresh clean start as it is a good job! So i will only be on now mostly late in the evenings! Love you KIddo!!!
Posted 2/28/2008 1:32 AM (GMT 0)
Ahh! Congrats! I wish you the best of luck with you rnew job! You will do great! And we will be right here behind you! I am not sure if I will be able to get on. I can for a while but I got in bed late again last night, and I dont want to start getting in the habit of going to bed late and getting up early, it WILL catch up to me!!! Although, I love staying up talking! But, I have no homework so... I will get my school clothes ready and everything else so I can chat and then jump straight into bed! I will have to get off about 10... maybe before maybe a little later...*HUGE SMILE* I cant help it... I love chatting!

*stands up* "My name is Christi, and I am a chat-aholic."

lol I love talking to you guys! But congrats on your new job! You will do great! You need your sleep for your first day! I will be right there with helping you out...(in spirit of course!)

Oh! We get report cards tomorrow. I have been struggling with school all year because of what I have been going through, but I have gotten better since my medicine and with the help of you all (my therapists!!!) So, I have been doing better. I have worked my best and I am excited to get my report card! I will have to let you guys know what it says! Thank you ALL for helping me through such hard times!!! Love you guys!
Posted 2/28/2008 1:43 AM (GMT 0)
I hope you get straight A's Tennis! (smile) Thank you for the congrats.It's a good job and it pays pretty good so i hope i do well too,dont want to lose this one.That was sooo funny what you said about your name is Christy and you are a chatoholic! lol Your'e so funny! I agree with you about you getting your sleep if i dont go to the chat room dont you stay up to late! We need all the rest we can get being that we are panickers!
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