Afraid of being alone, the root cause of my anxiety

Hey im gona be really honest here, i jus wana get it off my chest. This the root cause of most my anxiety

Wen i was little my had series of nervous breakdowns and it was like she repeatedly abandoned me over n over again.  So i hav never had real relationship wiv my mum. I hav never had a hug and she has never told tht she loves me or vice versa.

Neways wen i was 21 i finally met a girl who I cud trust it was a real breakthrough, I really opened upto her. I never usualy trust women and have very few female friends. Neways 11months in to our relationship she decided tht she didn't lov me nemor. This was after i had really bad week wiv anxiety/depression and i needed her alot. As time has gone on she's decided she does stil love me and im the one she is going to marry but she doesn't want serious n wht wud be long distance relationship rite now. I dnt kno wht to think. All i kno is once again it feels like a woman has abandoned me coz i was unable to live upto expectations. Im really worried i'l never be able to get over her, or she wil continue to walk all over me. She not a heartless person n she has continued o be ther for me but i feel if i turn to her then i lessen our chance of getting bck together. Tht wher u ppl come in coz instaed of her i turn to you now.

My biggest fear in the whole is being alone, believe i or not im not the love sick puppy type and i refuse to treat her mean to keep her keen. I jus fear tht my anxiety bout woman abandoning me wil ruin future relationships coz i wil always be expecting it to happen. The whole situation is really messed up tbh.

Ant

Hey Ant, I edited out one sentence as we do have members as young as 13 on the boards. Thanks for understanding.

 

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 3/11/2008 5:45:31 PM (GMT-6)

Staying or not is one issue but relationship is working hard to make each other happy,it should not be full time work but needs effort and honesty from both ppl.Your anxiety about women abandoning you needs to be worked on ,you should tell her your real feelings and how you felt in past when she walked out on you and how hurtful it was.If she loves you ,she needs to understand that's childish and hurtful and should not be repeated .

Forming a relationship with someone is easy and exiting can be easy for some ppl but hardest challenge is to maintain a relationship among all of this turmoil without taking each other for granted .She takes you for granted which her actions show ,or maybe she got annoyed on something serious you did.Look into reasons and have a heart to heart talk to her.

Relationship is always mutual ,not 1 way street .

Let her know you are important person made of flesh and blood and emotions with many flaws(nobody is perfect ,is she ) which she will care about only if she loves you and wants to work out things along with you for better or worse.

Good luck !!!!