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am i in a coma?

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Posted 3/27/2008 11:01 PM (GMT 0)
ok,so...

I finally thought things were going right, my panic attacks had cut right down, i got a new job, i felt uplifted, things seemed ok. But suddenly things have took a dive and it leaves me wondering if things can ever go right, and stay right. I work at an old people's dementia ward, which is obviously really sad and destressing. There is a lot of flu bugs and things going round all the time because its so hot there and the people are sick. I think i have picked up a bug of some sort and it made me feel sick and tired, but i automatically started getting scared that i was getting sick with anxiety again, and then i started feeling worse because i was so worried about being worried and getting ill - does that make ANY sense?

I seem to be so disjointed from reality all the time, ALL the time. Like the saddest thing can happen and its like i don't even realise, but i react by kind of going into this dream world where i don't really exsist and nothing really exists. I feel like i haven't really been real for - well longer then i can remember. I don't actually have a clue who i am anymore.

I hate my job so much, and i'm only working there for 12 more weeks before moving to London, but it has kind of triggered this obsession. I have put all my hopes on this one person, and to be honest they don't really know i exsist, i don;t even know why i'm writing this. I just feel so desperate to be wanted, i find myself talking to all the wrong people about all the wrong things and its like its this other person in my body that i have no controll over.

I can't see my doctor because she just told me to see my therapist, but i can't see him because there is a 6 week wait and i don;t have a regular work schedual. I really want to be sent to a psychologist, to see if there is a possibility of borderline personality or  Schizotypal disorder. I'm not afraid of lables i just want whatever is wrong with me to be diagnosed, so i can get further help. I already take 2 prozac a day for panic disorder, but obviously its not enough.

HELP HELP HELP 

Posted 3/27/2008 11:25 PM (GMT 0)
Boxcastle
Sorry about what you are going through, I can only imagine the stress of it.

Is there a possibility of you seeing a different therapist? I really think you should try to talk to someone else if possible. I am not a doctor but the symptoms you just expressed sound more like DID (dissociative disorder) if anything.
However, all these symptoms can be a result of your anxiety, or even have something to do with the meds your taking.
Please try to get in and talk with someone, you'll fell better.

Pressing
Posted 3/28/2008 1:22 PM (GMT 0)
Boxcastle
I have to agre with Presing you need to find another therapist IF possible and I also IMHO think it it is DID......many a/p 'ers have gone thru it and myself for the last few days have been doing this as well

I know how you bleeding feel and the frustration that is behind it all ..find someone and something that WILL work for you I do not think you are S I believe you are have dissociative spells but thats just my opinion my friend
Last night i said to self " I feel like the walking dead" I am here but not here ya know

Luvs
LYN
Posted 3/28/2008 1:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Boxcastle,   I'm really sorry for all that you are currently going through, I'm sure things will start looking better for you soon.  At least you have a light at the end of the tunnel as far as your job goes.   I agree with Pressing and Lyn about finding another therapist if at all possible.  It sound like you need to talk to someone as soon as you can.  Although I too disassociative spells, I can't say anything about what diagnosis you might be looking at because I don't know enough about them.   Please let us know how things are going.   Take care, Wen
Posted 3/28/2008 10:42 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Boxcastle...You have made the first step towards being well again by talking to us here at HW...well done - takes courage :) How about going to your GP and explain your symptoms and see if you can have your meds changed and/or adjusted...or seek a referral to see a specialist as you suggested :-) Let us know how you get on.

Maree

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