How to help my spouse understand anxiety and panic?

Yes, I have a suggestion.
Take off his clothes, tie him up in the front yard and ask him how vulnerable he feels. Then take him to some railroad tracks and tie him down when the train is coming and ask again, how he's feeling.

LOL.......Ok for real, there is no way to explain an attack or depression unless someone feels it. All you can do is tell him to love you the best way he knows how or you'll leave him for the mailman


Oh by the way, I had a FULL blown panic attack in walmart last week. I went back 3 days later to see if I can do it and I did.
I thought about you the whole time.

Ok Wen and Peacesoul it is time for you two to shop at Target. It gaurantees panic free shopping and no sticker shock. devil

Wen, I am right there with you, my husband does not understand it either. I brought him to the therapist with me for 2 sessions so she could help explain how it works. He seemed to get it for a bit but he expects it to just go away as in therapy I learned how to deal with it so now I have the magic tools but he doesn't understand the tools break down sometimes. So do I

I like Peacesoul's advice about talking with him. Remember that you cannot control your husband's reactions, but you can be prepared for what to say in response. If the discussion doesn't go the way you would have liked, ask your husband if you may talk again. Take it in small sessions.

Would he be willling to see a therapist for himself to help him deal with his issues?

Hugs to you sweetie.
Luvs

Kitt

I have come to the conclusion over the years that unless people have suffered depression or panic attacks etc. they really cannot begin to fathom what on earth is going on ..but hey, a little bit of reassurance, kindness and a nice cup of tea goes a long way with me The book mentioned 'Living with it' by Bev Aisbett is brilliant - it really seemed to make a big difference to my husband and his understanding about panic attacks...

Maree

Kitt, I like the Target idea, but I am afraid that may even that may be too much for me right now. But I do like the idea of no sticker shock. Unfortunately, my husband is not willing to do therapy on his own. I'm not even sure he would join me for a couple of my sessions, but I will approach him and the therapist with that idea. Maybe the therapist can give him some insight and understanding that I just haven't been able to do. I have tried talking to him a little here and there so as not to overwhelm him as well as giving him some short articles to read. But it doesn't appear to be helping. Don't get me wrong, he's very supportive and he is trying, but just doesn't understand it. Meg, No I haven't heard of that book, but it sounds good and will try to get one soon ($$ are tight right now), maybe it will help him. But I kinda like the shoving him out of a plane with no parachute - LOL. You are too funny, Meg - you also crack me up. Maree, I think I am coming to the same conclusion as you. It really is a difficult thing to wrap your brain around this unless you go through it yourself. He does reassure me that things will get better at some point, although he does get frustrated at times that he can't fix it. In many ways I feel sorry for him and wonder why he sticks around to put up with this. He must love me a lot. I think I will find a way to get that book, it sounds like a good one. Thank you all for your help and support, I really do appreciate it. Wen

I think I might have to get that book too! but um...not for that kinda of money! Ebay here I come!

Im not sure how to get someone to understand what its like to go thru these attacks, maybe let them sit in a cage with a hungery bear?

My hubby is pretty good with dealing with me and my anxiety and honestly I dont ask him to understand it but to just be there for me when I go thru it. I hate to be alone in the house when I panic but I also cant stand anyone touching me at the time either, I feel traped if he tries to hold or hug me.

If anyone finds that book for less than $80 I love to know, I dont think I want to sell my kidney to buy a book

megie,

Thank you for the input and I think your right, the hubbies think you can somehow just be fixed. I am glad you are back on the med and feeling better.

RE the book, I did find the info online re her cartoon books but she is from Australia so that may be why we are having problems finding the small book. Also the publication date on that one was 1993.

Kitt

Thank you all for the help and information. That book sounds great Megie, but I sure won't be paying that amount of money for it. Megie, did you check out the link that Kitt provided to see if it's the same book you are talking about ? If it is, it's at a MUCH more reasonable price. I've come to the conclusion that as long as he continues to love me, put up with me and support me however he can, then I'm not going to try so hard to get him to understand this. He really does try, but not having gone through this himself, he just doesn't - and I really do understand his point of view. I just want to help him. Thanks again for the advice everyone, I just love this family!! Love to all, Sis

I would KILL for a Target to come to Canada. When I was in Philly, I went there the 1st time ever. I loved it.

Take your time sis
You will know when you are ready.........

Keeping you in my heart thoughts and lots of
Luvs
Sis