i need a opinion

machelle,

First of all I am so sorry you have lived through this all these years.  It may have helped if your parents had backed you and not given in to her but their mistake was thinking they were her parents and not you.  They did what often happens in a divorce, the non-custodial parent will attempt to buy the child's love and loyalty and it works for some. 

My ex tried it with my children but he did not have the staying power to hang around and continue his behavior so my hubby, their stepfather,  is the one they call Dad.

Some day your daughter will realize that she has made a mistake, especially when she is a Mother.  For now, you must believe that you did your best, you are a good Mother and no, do not feel guilty for wanting to let go and let her move in with your Grandparents.  I truly know how hurt you are by all this but please remember that you are more than just a Mother, you are a wonderful, caring human who deserves love and respect.

Gentle hugs to you my dear friend.
Kitt

I am so sorry you are hurt and I think you have a right to be as your parents actions have contributed to much of the issues with your daughter.  I know that it is extremely difficult to fight the pain and the hurt so reach out and take our hands, we will be beside you always.

You have lost the dream of raising your daughter and sharing a Mother and Daughter relationship that you wanted to have. She is choosing someone else to live with and I do understand your hurt.

Hugs to you hun and hold on.  It will get better.
Kitt

Oh, machelle, I am so sorry that you're having to deal with this situation. It must break your heart.

I deal with kids your daughter's age all the time in my work, and by and large, they do not seem to be appreciative of the sacrifices and "tough love" that come from their parents. Many of them just want to kick back and revel in the "independence" of their new adulthood, but they just don't see that they can't behave like children and expect everyone around them to care for their needs once they're physically not children any more. It sounds like your parents have catered to this trend in your daughter, and I'm sorry for that because it won't serve her well in her life.

However, I do also see that after they've been out on their own for a while, these twenty-somethings gradually gain some gratitude and even pride in the discipine they got from their parents. Sometimes they're most appreciative for the things they thought were stifling and not "fun" when they were younger. I hope and pray that this will be the case with your daughter.

In the meanwhile, try not to let your daughter's and your parents' treatment of you make you feel that you're not worthwhile. Quite the opposite: you have lived with a situation that would break a lot of people and you've done the very best you could to raise your daughter well. I think that shows a lot of strength of character.

Hugs and prayers,
percycat