HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

I'm new and I'd like to introduce myself

Support Forums
>
Anxiety & Panic Disorders
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 8/25/2008 8:35 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone,

My name is Phoebe and I'm new to the HealingWell forums. I've been suffering from anxiety/panic for as long as I can remember. I was a very anxious child, afraid of dogs, social phobia, but most of all afraid that my mom would kill herself. Now I'm suffering from all sorts of anxiety and panic. The panic attacks scare me most though. It's been holding me back in my work life. I've lost a job due to this and stayed unemployed for 1.5 years. Now I'm in another job for almost 1.5 years and not being able to work the 4 days I'm being paid for (I now work 3). My boss is really kind about it, which is really nice. I'm afraid that I'll never be able to live a 'normal' life and have the energy to work and live life like I want to.

I've been talking to a psychologist every week for the last year. She used schema therapy by Young. It doesn't feel much different after a year of therapy. I decided to quit. I've also been on Efexor for 6 months, but that didn't help me either.

Now I like to find some tips on how to deal with my symptoms. Maybe I can find some here? What I'm looking for on this forum is hearing from other people about how you deal with your anxiety and panic, the fatigue it brings and if you're able to work and how that goes.

Thanks for reading so far. Wishing you all well.

PhoebeE
Posted 8/25/2008 9:45 AM (GMT 0)
HI PhoebeE,

I too have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for over ten years now. It satrted when I was fourteen and has only gotten worse since then. I too have tried talking to a psychologist but like you I quit going because it didn't help. I have been on Effexor and am now on my fourth med that covers both my anxiety and my panic attacks. I've been on levson, livbid, ativan, and now he's got me on tranxene. Have you tried talking to your doc about getting on any meds yet? Something that helps me when I get a severe attack calling my sister(whose suffers as well) and counting to 10 with my head in between my legs. Sometimes I have to count to higher numbers depending on the severity. Also if you can feel the attack comeing on than a soothing CD while taking a bath helps. Do they get so bad that you feel like you can't breath? If so thats when I would suggest putting your head inbetween your legs. It has been know(for me) to get really lite headed durring a panic attack. My anxiety attacks just make me feel like there are a ton of bricks on chest. I also shake really bad when ever I go into public. I get really nervous around new people and find myself stumbling over my words. The more crowded it is the worse it gets. To avoid that I go grocery shopping at night when there are fewer peopl out. Also when it comes to Christmas shopping I start my shopping in the Sping after the holiday season is already over. I haven't worked in three years. Yes it made it alot harder. I also worked as a CNA and was constantly dealing with people. I do things for family to earn extra cash. As forr the fatigue this new med, tranxene, I have had more sleep then I've had since I was 14. I'm only 24 and I know what its like to not sleep because of the racing thoughts of fear. I feel like I'm finally finding my balance with help from a great doctor. My suggestion is talk to you doctor about being on a med that will help you feel more at ease and maybe a sleeping pill to help you sleep at night so that you don't have to lose out on sleep. Now that your back to work it important to be able to function. Anxiety is a tough one to deal with but you were right to come here and find out you're not the only one dealing with it. Lots of people have it and it does't mean your not normal. And yes you will be able to live a normal life. Keep your spirits up. You're in my prayers.

Post Edited By Moderator (Ides) : 8/25/2008 7:57:33 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/25/2008 10:44 AM (GMT 0)
Hi lovethefuzz,

I haven't talked with my doc about getting meds. I would love to stay off and I'm using valerian, but only when it's way too much (and most of the time I forget about taking them).

Most of the panic attacks don't lead to the point where I cannot breathe. I'll remember your breathing method for when it gets worse.

I get really nervous in crowds too. I avoid those at all costs, unless I know what will happen and when it's not that much people. I don't go grocery shopping, my husband does that. The stores close at 8PM here and there're still quite some people around then. I'm also really afraid that I'll buy the wrong stuff or forget important things.

Sleeping isn't a problem for me. I sleep 9 hours a night (if my alarm doesn't wake me earlier) or more, but get really tired from being afraid all the time. When I cannot sleep I take a valerian pill and sleep really well.

Thanks for your reply. I wish you all the best, too!
Posted 8/26/2008 1:50 AM (GMT 0)

Hi PhoebE,

Welcome to HW, we are a little family here and I am happy you have joined us.  Anxiety can sometimes encroach on our work lives, sadly we just have to accept that as part of the package. It doesn't mean you are not "normal" or can't have a "normal life". It just means you have to make decisions that will keep you safe. Working three days a week is great. I was unable to work for many, many years when I was younger..it's taken me a long time to get to working the amount I do now.

If your therapist isn't helping, but you still feel really anxious why not try a different therapist with a different technique? CBT (cognitive behavioural thearpy) is a fantastic way of rationilising your fears and anxieties. A lot of our members have a great deal of success with it (me included). There is a site online www.moodgym.com.au that is free and really, really helpful.

For anxiety, I work mostly with avoiding it. I eat well, exercise, stay away from negative people (when possible) and know my limits. I don't drink caffienne (jitters) or drink alcohol. Now I sound like the most boring person on the planet! This does help me with the anxiety though. I also keep a journal of my feelings so I get a fair idea of what is stressing me out or upsetting me, before it gets out of hand! I hope this helps you a bit PhoebE, and again, a warm elcome to HW.

Meg 

Posted 8/26/2008 10:08 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Meg,

Thanks for your message and welcome.

With mentioning "living a normal life" I meant that I really would love to be able to live a life like I want to. But I guess I have to accept that I'm dealing with this now and that I may have to lower my expectations of myself. I just read a wonderful book this morning in the train to work by Jon Allen called "Coping with trauma". It said that as a victim of childhood trauma you're affected both mentally and physiologically. Your brain is altered. It sort of gave me a reason not to ask too much from me and make sure I seek help to heal with these specific problems.

Schema therapy is a sort of CBT and before that I tried RET, which is like CBT as well. I only helped partly, because my problems come from a different origin (psychological abuse and neglect in childhood), I think that's why. I just didn't fit the model. I also tend to be really nice to therapist, to be the wonderful and good patient who learns fast, while things aren't going so well. It's a mask that's hard to set aside. People don't know me without the mask and with the mask I'm able to function like I do.

I'll take a look at the website you mentioned.

I don't drink coffee/black tea, alcohol, sodas, and don't eat meat, don't smoke, get to bed early, get my exercise, but eating healthy is a downfall. It's too much work to cook a meal after a long day at work and long commute. That's something I'm working on though. On days that I work, my husband will make us dinner. I don't think it's boring! :)

Thanks again. Best wishes,
Phoebe
Posted 8/26/2008 4:30 PM (GMT 0)

Phoebe,

Welcome to HealingWell and the A & P forum.  You've come to the right place to find people that have a good idea of what you're going through.

I am Kitt and I have had anxiety for 26 years.  You are living a normal life but you also have anxiety which means you have to work at keeping the anxiety from taking over the way you want to live. Remember you have anxiety, it does not have you. wink

Here are a few tips that may help you as they have helped me.

Call a friend when feelings of anxiousness or fear arise. A friend is not a replacement for professional help when needed, but a friend can be there to listen when you are having a bad day. Sometimes letting off a little steam can help relive tension and anxiety.

Share a laugh. Nothing breaks the tension like laughing. If you walk around feeling miserable, you will be miserable, but if you laugh life seems better. So if you are down, watch a funny movie or TV show to laugh.

Know your personal limits. One of the chief causes of anxiety is when a person takes on more than he can handle. Know your limits as to what you can do and how much you can do. It will go a long way in reducing anxiety in life. Reducing anxiety is not hard to do once a person knows how to it. The one principle to keep in mind is if you have any doubts about reducing anxiety on your own, seek professional help.

And my personal favorite, don't indulge in stinkin thinking, "Why can't I be normal ? Why does this have to happen to me?" Just accept what is happening to you. If you do this, what you fear most will not happen.

Keep talking to us as I have a feeling you will find this a great place to vent, share and find the support you need.

Again a warm welcome,
Kitt
Posted 8/26/2008 9:38 PM (GMT 0)
PhoebE... welcome to healing well. I suffer from depression , anxiety and PTSD. ... as do my two daughters.
What is RET... is it anything like the fairly new rapid eye movement desensitization therapy. ?
One of my dauthers underwent some rapid eye therapy but we didn't see much of an improvement... I think she may have just been too young.
Journaling , like Meg suggested is quite effective... if you don't like writing everything out by hand... like I did in the old days... I have sooo many journals... you can just create a folder for yourself and journal right on your computer.
Glad you came to HW... You'll find this to be a safe and extremely caring "family". I sure couldn't do without them.
Mary
Posted 8/27/2008 2:02 AM (GMT 0)
Phoebe,

What's helped me has been cognitive behavioral therapy. I've seen many counselors over the years for depression, but only in the past couple have I linked up with my current therapist and her practice. Unlike all the others I've seen, where I talked about my depression but never felt that I came up with a plan for dealing with it (medication has knocked it *way* down, by the way), CBT has been helping me to understand how some of the things I do exacerbate my anxiety. Then, we talk about ways that I can overcome those habits. And my therapist is really good in that she doesn't just "tell" me what to do, although she will answer my questions; rather, she helps me to figure out which options we've already discussed, or that she adds right then, are most comfortable for me. So in the end, I decide what to try, and we talk about how that might be easy or hard in some ways.

You may find that trying again with a different therapist is helpful for you. Do your homework first, though, and try to get some opinions about what kind of therapy to look into. Then only check out those professionals who do that kind.

percycat
Posted 8/27/2008 2:30 AM (GMT 0)

PhoebE,

Excellent! We can be healthy and NOt boring together..can I just ask, how do you get your husband to cook? Are there whips involved?!

Okay seriously (sorry about that) I used to do the same thing with counsellors/therapists, telling them that I was feeling better (when I wasn't) and pretending that they had made a difference (when they hadn't) and then going home and crying just because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. Now I am training to be a counsellor, and trust me, we would prefer you were nasty to us but got results than tried to make us feel good about ourselves.

Next time (if you decide to) see a therapist, tell them the honest truth, that's what you are paying for. If it isn't working. Tell them, it's up to them to make it work or refer you to someone who will.

I wish you all the best, it's lovely to have you with us.

Meg

Posted 8/27/2008 2:31 AM (GMT 0)
Hello I am new as well and have no idea most of the time why I get depressed

Post Edited (tired@39) : 8/26/2008 8:34:03 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/27/2008 3:27 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Tired,

Welcome to HW. How long have you been living with depression? Do you take any medications or have therapy at all for this? (sorry for all the Q's)

If you want to introduce yourself then just start up your own thread. you'll get more replies and more support. Again, welcome, I hope you like it here. :-)

Meg

Posted 8/27/2008 10:13 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for your sweet and caring replies.

Kitt, thanks for your welcoming words. Yesterday I was feeling very anxious, I finally talked to two of my co-workers about my anxiety. They asked me how I'm doing and I told them that I haven't been doing so well because of anxiety. They were really nice and caring. They told me about their own experience, one had been suffering from panic attacks a while ago too. I felt so much better after our conversation! So talking about it helps a lot and I found out once again yesterday. I tend to shield myself from people when I'm anxious, while I'd better talk and be open.

I don't really know my personal limits well. I work 3 days a week (with a commute of 90 mins each way) now and that might be too much for me. Is it true that if you pass your limits too often, you get more anxious?

Marie-Claire, thank you for your message! I have PTSD too. I think because of the PTSD my brains and some of my physiology works differently. I feel that I need to learn more about that, so that I understand myself better. I'm a medical scientist/educator, that might be the reason I need to understand it better. :-)

I meant REBT not RET, I'm sorry: Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. It's one of the first CBTs. I'm not good in explaining, but there's lots to find about this on the internet.

percycat, thanks for your message. My therapist works a bit like yours (I guess that's the CBT), but somehow it never feels like the ideas about what I can do as homework are really mine. I guess that's my pleasing character. I just try to pick the ones that I think that she thinks are best... eyes

The medication, what did you get? SSRIs? I'm thinking about asking my dr for medication, so that I can function like I want to, but I'd also like to heal totally (if possible) and be able to live without being dependent on medication. Depression runs in my family and I guess it has a genetic component and therefore medication might be the only solution (if you haven't enough serotonin in your brains, you need to replenish it).

percycat and Meg: The next time I'm looking for a therapist, I'll be looking for someone really experienced with loads of experience in PTSD and childhood trauma. I'm thinking about becoming a counsellor myself. I'd love to have my own business in helping survivors of childhood trauma to heal themselves.

Meg smilewinkgrin Fortunally he doesn't loads of housework. I'm wasted working 3 days/week nowadays. So I'm really glad he takes care of most when he's at home. I'm very grateful for that.

Hi Tired, welcome here!

Best wishes,
Phoebe

Post Edited (PhoebeE) : 8/27/2008 4:22:10 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/28/2008 1:38 AM (GMT 0)

Hi PhoebE,

REBT is a great form of therapy, I'm studying as a counsellor and it is one of my favourite forms. It actually had it's birthplace in Freudism, but is a far faster and less invasive form of problem solving/cognitive re-working. Sadly, some therapists are just NOT good at it! I hope next time you find someone you can work with.

I'm glad you opened up to your workmates, it's really amazing how many of us live with anxiety and panic. A 90 minute commute? That would certainly put me on edge. If you believe it is compromising your health then I would say that looking for something closer to home might be a good idea.

Boundaries are very important. If you aren't sure of your boundaries it easy to get swayed, lose sense of self and yes, become MORE anxious. I find that this is very common among people who have been through childhood abuse or trauma. If you try to hard to please everyone else or fit into what you believe people want you to be then you will lose your identity and that is stressful.

I hope I'm not being too confusing! In fact I'm confusing myself. This is just my opinion and I am no expert.

I still think you must have magical powers over your husband!

Hugs,

Meg

Posted 8/28/2008 9:05 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Meg,

You're not confusing at all. Thanks for your reply.

I've been having this commute for almost 1.5 years now and from the beginning we've discussed moving closer to work. My husband works close to my work, so that's a possibility. We live in a small city now, close to the country land. We would have to move to a large city, crowded, busy... I'm not sure if it'll suit me. Getting another job closer to home is the other option, but then I would have to get used to a new job, new co-workers, etc. That long commute make me go over my boundaries much sooner, that would help ease the anxiety. We're not sure what to do. We've a trip planned in March/April 2009 and have decided that we will decide then. :-)

It's wonderful having rabbits. They're really adorable. They don't like to be cuddled much though.

Hugs,
Phoebe
Posted 8/29/2008 8:42 PM (GMT 0)
Meg and Phoebe,

The boundary issue is a big one for me personally. I realize that a lot of my general day-to-day anxiety does come from having my boundaries pushed against, and I would imagine that this is true for many of us. It's a bit of a tough fight: give in to the "encroacher" and feel you've lost a bit of yourself, or stand up to them, which can be stress producing if you don't like upsetting others. It's hard for me even with little things like asking the BF to turn down the TV or pick up his shoes out of the middle of the floor. So, Phoebe, I can identify with the battle to protect good boundaries while also trying to cross over harmful ones (phobias, in my case).

percycat
Posted 8/29/2008 11:16 PM (GMT 0)
Hello, I too am new to this forum (and to an on-line forum of any kind). I was particularly moved by some of the things that PhoebeE said regarding her search for a right kind of therapy, the connection of the panic/anxiety to trauma of the kind she described and her PTSD symptoms because they mirror some of my own experience.

I am 42; I began suffereing panic attacks twelve years ago- what the psychiatrist who first saw me for that called "night waking panic" because I would wake up in the night unable to breath, with my heart pounding so hard, I was always sure I was about to die (EEGs were always normal, so I gave up seeking help). On my knees, with my head between my arms on the bed, I would try not to watch the clock. They usually passed in about 2 hours but would leave me utterly fatigued the following day, unable to function; I also learned to tell the signs of them coming on earlier in the day, which only added to the problem. No medication or therapy was ever suggested, just that I reduce the stress in my life - what every one of the very few doctors I have ever consulted had said. In any event, at 8 1/2 months pregnant with my first son, I had a whopper of an attack in the middle of the day at work; I was rushed to the hospital; everything was fine, just panic - but I was given some medicine that has made the attacks bearable (only one more trip to the er in the past 6 years) - called alprazolam aka xanax. It is quick acting and useful if you can sense when an attack may be coming. It has a short half-life in the body so doesn't have some of the potential downsides of a daily anti-axiety medication in my experience. Finally, for me there is something therapeutic in knowing I have some control - I have some medicine that will help it pass less painfully and that knowledge alone has often been enough to avoid one coming on. That has been the status quo the last 6 years.

Due to ever increasing stress and dysfunction at work (a family business) over the past year, I have finally found a doctor to address some chronic, stress/trauma related medical conditions and an excellent therapist whom I have been seeing for several months. She has diagnosed me with DID with PTSD, and like 98% of folks, mostly women with that dx, I survived a childhood of extensive abuse, neglect and repeated, life threatening trauma. And from everything I have read, it's symptomology results from physiological changes that occur during trauma and the neurological fallout - coping systems of various sorts that somehow, some day hopefully lose their usefulness or appeal as we recognize the need for healing the deep memories of trauma in our minds and our bodies; then a journey to being well can begin for all of us. It has also helped me focus on my sons and my husband and our best possible healthy family life as the only real priorities that must matter to me (I took the first summer off in my life and spent almost all of it with my two young sons - a challenge, but a joy for sure). And to do my part, I must be able to function consistently, without constant pain and craziness in my life.

My therapist practices a therapy model specifically aimed at working with trauma, especially in childhood trauma/abuse survivors, that takes many cues from neurobiology and physiology. It is called "Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Therapy" or AEDT for short and is connected to a trauma institute centered in Boston, MA. I don't have significant therepy experience, but for the first time, I really feel like I am being heard, being validated, and have a gentle teacher on my path to becoming who I will be.
I would also suggest the book "Waking the Tiger" to all who are interested in understanding the physiology of trauma, how it becomes trapped in us and other very useful and interesting observations that have been an aid to me in understanding my own experiences.

Thanks to you all for your willingness to share. No one of us has to be alone.

Love and Light, Sera
Posted 8/29/2008 11:38 PM (GMT 0)
I'm new here too. reading the threads help me a great deal I also suffer from childhood abuse which cause me boundary issues.I'm glad you wrote.

            Smiles

              Gennie

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

anxiety fibromyalgia , deppression , PTSD.

Posted 8/30/2008 12:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Phoebe, welcome. I'm new here also.

Sometimes I cant handle the anxiety either and nothing helps except knowing that eventually the really intense anxiety will simmer down and be manageable. Sometimes exercise helps me. When I'm very anxious I go on the treadmill and crank it up and run till I feel I'm going to drop. Other times I write in my journal or as Kitt has suggested just sit and breath. Just know your not alone in this. Sometimes I feel that the hardest part is people don't understand my anxiety. They just want me to get over it. Also keep writing on this forum. It helps me......Jodes
Posted 8/30/2008 1:56 PM (GMT 0)

Phoebe,

Good Morning and wow, what great advice and response you have received . wink    This is truly a great site..........

I went through a period of panic attacks at night and would cry and pray and walk the house alone in the dark.  This is what helps me and many others.

Remember this: It does not matter if you feel frightened, disorientated, dreamlike, or unsteady. These feelings are an exaggeration of the normal bodily reactions to stress.

Just because you have these sensations doesn't mean you are crazy. These feelings are just unpleasant and frightening, not dangerous. Nothing worse will happen to you.

Let your feelings come. . Don't run away from panic. When you feel panic build up, take a deep breath and as you breathe out, let go. Keep trying. Stay there almost as if you were floating in space. Don't fight the feeling of panic. Accept it; you can deal with it.

Try to make yourself as comfortable as possible without escaping. If you're on a street, lean against a post or a store wall. If you're at the cosmetics department of a store, find a quieter counter or corner. If you're in a boutique, tell the salesperson you don't feel well and want to sit for a while. Do not jump into a car and go home in fear.

Don't indulge in stinkin thinking, "Why can't I be normal ? Why does this have to happen to me?" Just accept what is happening to you. If you do this, what you fear most will not happen.

Think about what is really happening to your body at this moment. Do not think "Something terrible is going to happen. I must get out." Repeat to yourself "I am ok, I will not die or lose control."

Try to distract yourself from what is going on inside you. Look at your surroundings. See the other people around you. .They are with you, not against you.

When the panic subsides, let your body go loose, take a deep breath, and go on with your day. Remember, each time you cope with panic and anxiety, you reduce your fear.

Posted 8/30/2008 3:05 PM (GMT 0)

sera66

I'd like to extend a warm welcome to you on your first visit to Healing Well!

What a great post and how supportive, keep on talking with the members as you are now part of the A & P Family.

 

Be sure to ask for help when you need it, we are all here for you.

Gentle Hugs
Kitt

Posted 9/2/2008 7:35 AM (GMT 0)
Hi percycat, Sera, Gennie, Jodes and Kitt,

Thank you all for your responses. Sera, thank you for your extensive message. I'll look up AEDT en the book you recommended. Everyone, it's good to know that I'm not alone in this and that you people understand what I'm going through. I'm glad we've met too.

Wishing you all the best,
Phoebe
Posted 9/2/2008 1:46 PM (GMT 0)
PhoebeE

Hey there, this is agreat forum and I am glad you are feeling comfortable posting and have found some great members that have helped you already.


Stick with us and post all you want.  We are all here for each other.

Smiles turn

Kitt

✚ New Topic ✚ Reply