Buddha,
I am sorry to read your fear and anger have gone into the red zone.
I have felt the anger with my fears but generally I break down into tears and end up a puddle on the floor. 
Try to make a list of all of your fears, writing as fast as you can to block the internal censor. Include EVERY fear, however small or irrational. Then read them aloud, suspending judgment. Allow yourself to feel the fear without letting it get out of control.
Writing down your fears is a powerful step in dealing with fears and anxiety and eventually managing them. Until you write them down, they are like so many vehicles in gridlock. Once you have them on paper, you can park some and move others, clearing a space for forward movement. In this way, writing down your fears creates a space for awareness and choice.
Refrain from judging yourself or your fears. Just list them. Once you have your list, determine if they are a Category 1 Fear: magnifies danger and vulnerability while minimizing your sense of competence or a Category 2 Fear: mobilizes your whole being for effective action. It includes a series of physiological changes that prepare the body for peak performance.
Fear 2 promotes effective action; Fear 1 paralyzes us and prevents action.
Both types of fear are present in many situations. What is important is to use your powers of assessment and discrimination to turn down the volume on Fear 1 while calling on Fear 2 for the energy and focus to move forward.
I hope this exercise helps you in some small way identify your fears and you will beable to see on paper what type of fears you are experiencing.
You have my support and remember we are all here for you.
Keep on posting and talking to us.
Gentle Hugs
Kitt