thanks..

Dear Pink

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time.  Wow, reading your post brings back bad memories of even a week or two ago.  My anxiety, exhaustion and depression come and go.  Fortunately, it is gone right now.

You have come to a good place to talk to others with similar problems.  I am sure someone with more experience and talent than me will answer your post soon. 

Hang in there!  You don't need cash, credit card, check or Paypal for Healing Well.

GG

pinkstarsfish...

Believe me when I say that I have been where you are right now... it is overwhelming, terrifying and so isloating.
This forum , has heard it all.... we've all had horrible , horrible things in our past or present lives that have been discussed in these forums. I've hesitated to 'talk' to anyone about my problems for a very long time... the idea of writing everything out on a 'board' for everyone to see and read was not an option to me... but then I started reading some of the threads ... some of the problems people were having and sharing... things that are very private and very personal... I admired their courage but still didn't feel I could share.... then I continued to read... what I found was that the whole world isn't on this board or in this forum.... the few people who are here have been there... they GET IT!!!! so you are not talking to someone who doesn't have a clue what you are going through... you are talking to a friend ( for me they are family now) who has been through much of the same , or worse!
The moderators and the dear people who answer these posts will never judge you... because they have felt that sting from family or friends themselves... they will never belittle or criticize you.
They comfort, they advise, the sometimes cry with you and rejoice with you when things are better.

My advice to you right now... is to take a few deep breaths... focus on your breathing for the time being... and read! Read what this family has been through , how kind they are with each other and how genuinely caring and concerned they all are with helping you. Read my friend. IF the weather isn't good... you have no phone... you DO need help... then please trust me when I say that reading through some of our own challenges will help you...
You will realize , I'm hoping, that this is THE safest place to be... we all feel that way.
I'm concernecd about you and want to help... please stay with us... read and maybe come back and tell us just a tiny bit of what the problem is ... baby steps.... you will get through this. !
Healing thoughts and prayers '
Mary

Dear Pink,

HI this is Kitt. I am so sorry your going through all of this.  After reading your story I felt like you were in the position of being this man's slave and whipping boy. You are brave to come here and tell your whole story.

What concerns me is your isolation, no car, no phone, limited funds yet your b/f has a huge home, money and a great car I would bet.

I see him as a person that is not married and therefore the rules of marriage do not count for him and you are lucky he keeps you around.

Remember

There are some things you can do to decide if you are in the wrong relationship and if you need to get out.

Is your partner abusive? If your partner has abused you in the past, he probably will do so again in the future.

Has your partner cheated on you? For some people this is unforgivable. If your partner has cheated on you you need to decide if you will be able to forgive him or not.

Are you happy in the relationship? Sit back for a moment and think to yourself 'Am I happy in my relationship?' If you are happy, then great! If you're not happy then you need to ask another question. Ask yourself 'Can I foresee myself ever being happy in this relationship?'

If you can see yourself being happy if some small changes are made, then it might be worth your effort to get  counseling. I want to mention here that the small changes must come from inside you. You do not have the power to change anyone else (including your partner).  

The decision to seperate is never easy, but you do have options. You need to be able to look at your life as whole and decide if it is good or bad. You also need to look at every possible aspect of your relationship with your partner and see if the good outweighs the bad, or if the bad outweighs the good. Sometimes your judgment is clouded when you only focus on the good or only on the bad. The bottom line is to do what you need to do to have a more fulfilling and happy life.

I wish you peace and happiness.

Kitt

Pink,
As usual I agree with Kit, it sounds like this guy has all the perks of a slave and no remorse. I know there probably is a lot of personal stuff that you cant explain but please believe me when i tell you that i know where you are coming from. manipulating relationships can make you feel like your going crazy and the world is against you. But believe me your not wrong. I remember in an old abusive relationship i had a few years ago my boyfriend said to me one day, "kate, no one else is ever going to want to be with you because your dad is dead and your mom is an alcohalic" well guess what?? i really started to believe that!! until i came to my senses, thanks to family and friends.. and i got the courage to leave him. Remember that you will never be able to love someone else or trust someone else until you love yourseld and trust someone else. Please keep us posted on how you are doing, Be strong girl!!

((hugs))