Why US......Why NOT us ..........Post Your Successes..Part 2

One of my biggest successes was crawling back out of the dark hole in 2006 which was the worst episode I have ever gone through with my A & P and Depression.

Now I try to stay in the moment, know my triggers and cry when I need too.

I accept everyday that is a good day and the not so good days I work hard at making them better.

Thanks
Kitt

I am glad there is this thread as I was thinking the other day of starting a thread saying how good I feel instead of only posting when I feel bad.

Six months after release from hospitalization for overwhelming anxiety which basically caused me to become catatonic, I am finally, just last week, feeling completely back to my old self.  My anxiety was finally zapped with Zyprexa about a month after I got out of the hospital.  I took a cocktail of Lexapro, Depakote, and Lamictal with Zyprexa only needed every week to ten days.  I eventually stopped the Depakote on my own as I didn't need the constant hunger and hair loss.  about two weeks ago we added Wellbutrin to the mix and that was the step that finally did it, I am back to "normal", whatever that is for me.  No lingering anxiety, no hopelessness, no body aches and pains.  I have to take alot of meds to be this way but it's all worth it.  So for all of you still looking for the right mix, there is hope!  (I am bipolar).

I too have had to climb outta that dang dark hole

 and I will never or actually I

Pray I will never go there again

I would just sit for hours in a chair in LR and watch TV but

Not seeing a dang thing and

Not doing anything either'

Talking to Lil sis on the phone made me a bit calmer

and she KNEW when she would hear my voice

SOMETHING was wrong

I will always have her in a special place in

This heart of mine

All have a place in my heart

THAT is definitely NOT me and I climbed out a bit at a time

I MADE it with the help of

a very great family here and

Lil sis ....Megs and so many other

ppl too many to mention

Georgia Girl.

YOU are making great steps and

 I am so glad your meds are working for you

Celey..Some days are harder than others to get

out of bed I do understand totally

BUT you are doing it

KUDOS to you

Justbreath

I have read all your posts and yes

you have made alot of steps in your

 battle as have so many others......

I wake each morning and no matter

how cruddy I feel

I do make sure I am dressed and

put on make up  and do hair

THIS gives me confidence

YOU are so right

THIS beast likes to see us down as low as possible and

It will eat your confidence

IF YOU LET IT

YOU are doing a great job hun

Keep up the Great work

I too do CBT and for me it helps

As does coming to this board

and My HW family

STAY confident or at least try your dangest too

It is working for you and if something

WORKS

Dont mess with it

And yes

Anxiety and Panic Do NOT have us

Thanks for all your posts

Lil sis .....et all .Love Big sis

Luvs to all

Lets FIGHT this DD with all we have and if its getting out of bed THAT

Is still a step IMHO

Take care and keep posting

.......LYN

**Fixing Typonese**

Good Afternoon,

I have a ton of success stories as I have overcome so many little issue that seemed like monsters and I have overcome the real monsters in me.

I have mini panic attacks, I beat myself up alot when I feel weak, and I am the first to cut myself down, but then I found HW and my dear Mentor was there to tell me to keep on going, just lose the "stinkin thinkin" and I needed that. I wrote many posts when I was in tears as talking to others and helping  others would help me become grounded and get my mind back into the real world and know I was a good person and not stupid.

I lived through the death of my father when I was 39 and he was 72.  He died of pancreatic cancer.  I was his only child and I lost so much that day but I did proud by him as he would have wanted me too. I kept my promise to him to take care of my stepmother. I honored his wish and then 5 years later went through her heart disease and cancer and eventually she moved from Wisconsin to live with us.  She moved in Saturday and died at my kitchen table on Monday.  I would often think, "Why me" but then realized I did not have time for letting in those kinds of thoughts.  It happened and I would do my best to deal with it.

Then the worst thing in the world happened, our 21 year old son died in a car crash.  I think perhaps I never got through that but I said and did all the right things so now all these many years I am learning to honer his life and not mourn his death.

I have learned to not panic everytime the phone rings as it is usually a wrong number and no this is not the number for the sober cab .

I have learned to accept others as they are and not expect them to be perfect.  I have given my self permission not to be perfect.

my success is proving my first pyschiatrist wrong. at 14yrs of age, he told me my A/P was too severe to ever lead a normal,productive life, or be a functioning member of society. he painted a very bleak picture, made me out to be an emotional invalid and to ready myself for a life of living at home and never getting out and living my life.

WELL: i left home @ 18. i began my nursing training. as much as i loved nursing, i kept failing chemistry so i hesitantly quit my nursing degree and switched over to teaching. i nursed my way through college, in Oncology.

I didnt just graduate from college- i graduated with TWO degrees and a career that i have enjoyed for the last 3 years. when i struggle with my A/P, i remember that I can do anything through God who strengthens me. i refuse to be a statistic. yes, i have a horrible illness, but i wont let it define me.

There were times at college that were rough, i had to defer twice for emergency surgery- but i believe there is a reason im this way and i choose to live with it, and contol it, not have it control me.

Maz XX

..A bit back I had made a list of things I HAD to get checked out with Health

..Eyesite.......wear galasses but need stronger ones....Have appointment Dec 13th

...Hearing.....Done twice second was today ...Got fitted for Hearing Aid /Disability pays

 ...DX my pain Meds with Doc on Board......Have been decreasing by 20 mg daily

....Well today I have found out I have No.. none... nada... nil.. hearing in left ear  and only 40% in the right ear........YES I cried.I knew it all along but when you are given a difinitive DX it makes it REAL......I am going to have to wear a hearing aid in my good ear but nothing can help the L one.......I have already mourned today as I love to listen to NATURE and  animals.My hearing will be gone but dont know when due to nerve damge from a mistake made in my TX of PG...I can barely hear my Birds...My babies

Reflecting upon this I will listen and listen as best as I can to hear all there is out there an in my home and listen to Cait .........I have the ability to get down and depressed over this OR I have the ABILITY to ACCEPT and take it as it comes.......Many have it worse than I and that makes me know I will not give into depression......I WILL GET THRU THIS with you supporting and caring about me as per the norm in this Family and I will continue to try and help those that want my help and support........It makes all this more worthwhile

     **On the plus side I will have it before Christmas so I get an early present**

......Yes all small steps but still steps IMHO and I have or I am acheiving what I had set out to do

........................What about YOU.................Care To Share...................................

..........Luvs to all ............LYN    ..........Loves Lil sis .......Big sis   ..........S.I.S.

Hey Big Sis and all,

I am off to the Pdoc tomorrow and I have nada to say as I do not want to be talked into more meds.

So I will tell her I am doing well and then I might get a reprieve til January.

My sister is back at the U of MN..............so now we continue on in a calm rational way and whatever is decided will be her decision.  I can live with that...........it is her wishes.

Love ya all

Kitt