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Pit of darkness... I don't know what hit me!

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Posted 10/31/2008 5:17 AM (GMT 0)

Mary,

You are always worthy..don't even question yourself on that. You have never ceased being an inspiration to me. Don't give in to the negative thoughts..push them aside..just keep pushing them aside. I know the light will come back to you soon. It always does. Stay strong my dera friend.

Love,

Meg

Posted 10/31/2008 7:01 AM (GMT 0)
I'm working ! Hard! Pushing myself. !
My catatonic 'state' has eased... now I'm fluctuating between numbness one minute, extreme sadness and anger the next.... all part of the grieving process I guess.
Kitt... I am trying very hard to shoo the negative thoughts about myself away. I sat with my youngest daughter yesterday and practiced saying... I'm worth it... I'm a good person... I deserve to be happy...
Boy was that hard... she got up and kissed me and said... I'm proud of you mama!
I was asked to baby sit my grandaughter... which I was inclined to refuse... wanted to crawl into my bed...forget about the world... but I agreed anyways... baby sat last night for 4 hours...
I didn't want her to see her grandma sad and depressed... she wouldn't understand and would pick up on it... so she and I sat... and sang and danced.... she is a happy , precious little girl. She fell asleep on my shoulder while I was rocking her. I found myself sighing with gratitude.... thanked GOD for this MIRACLE ...this BLESSING in my life. !
I suppose HE hasn't given up on me yet... do you suppose all of us here, who struggle so much, earn extra points... bigger wings? I hope so!
Meg... I emailed you my darling.... I will be fine.
Budha... Thank you for your encouragement, your words meant a lot to me.
Lyn... I'm ashamed of myself when I think of all you have been through and still come here and encourage the likes of me... thank you dear friend.
To all of you... this family means the world to me... I know you "get it"... I know you are here.
I'm working!!!
Posted 10/31/2008 7:28 AM (GMT 0)

Phew! turn

So glad that you are taking steps towards happiness again sweetie. Keep looking up and out and counting those blessings. And yes, you get extra special sparkly wings for getting through this. You are amazing!!!

Love, Meg

Posted 10/31/2008 4:36 PM (GMT 0)
I said nothing you didn't already know. But I'll say it again ... you don't belong in the abyss.

Hugs,
Buddha
Posted 11/1/2008 11:10 PM (GMT 0)

Maz........I am sorry

Please refer to rules and guidlines

THanks for your co operation and any questions plz email me ...LYN

blessings,

Maz XX

10. No posts of an overtly political or religious nature OR posts promoting advocacy of particular personal, medical, legal, religious, political, or non-profit causes

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 11/1/2008 6:09:10 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 11/2/2008 12:10 AM (GMT 0)
My friend Mary
I am here for you as are so many others
I do hope this will lift soon
and Buddha has said it quite right
YOU donot belong
In this ABYSS

Love ya tons
LYN
Posted 11/2/2008 3:08 AM (GMT 0)
Mary,

I'm getting warm fuzzies just picturing your holding your sleeping grandbaby. What a precious gift of peace and love!

percycat
Posted 11/2/2008 4:53 AM (GMT 0)
smilewinkgrin  Angel mama, email on is on is way...

Love, your Meg

Posted 11/2/2008 4:53 AM (GMT 0)

Mary,

I wish I could give you a pearl of wisdom to help you out, but you are a strong person by even admiting you are having problems right now, and I have confidece that you will manage to pull yourself up and out of your fugue.  I wish you the best of luck my friend.  Pamper yourself for the next few days and allow your body and mind to heal :)

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