Newbie with anxiety

Hello Kelly

Welcome to HealingWell.  We are happy you came over to anxiety and panic for help.  We are open to all who want to joins us.

I know it can be a long time before you get SSDI. You are young which makes me think your parents are of an age that would understand your disorders.  I am so sorry they do not.

Have you ever invited your Mom to come to a doctor's appointment with you so the Doctor can stress the seriousness of your illness?

For my anxiety and depression I took my adult children to one therapy session so they could ask questions and then I took my husband to 3 sessions so he too could hear first hand from a professional.

Are you up to asking your parents to sit down with you so you can tell them how you feel.  They may not know how their comments are kicking up your anxiety.

There are many modalities to choose from to help you with your anxiety. Do you currently have a therapist?

Again a warm welcome and please keep talking to us.

Kitt

Thanks y'all for the quick, warm welcomes.  LOL-I've only been back in SC a little over 2 weeks, and my accent is as strong as ever-hence the "y'alls."  Anyway, to answer some of your questions, I am trying to get a therapist.  I went to the mental health department last week (because I have depression and I need a way to help pay for my meds), and they are supposed to assign me a counselor.  BTW-I am very pro-therapy.  If you know me from the fibro board, you know that I am quite the talker.  But, yes, I would love to talk to someone who will hear me.  I've been dismissed by so many doctors or written off as crazy.  It took years to finally find a doctor who would hear me-and he helped me find out that I have fibro (along with anxiety).  I am also in Lupus limbo, too.

 

As far as my parents go, it's a little bit of a weird situation.  My mom has been an RN for over 40 years, and has worked in Hospice and Palliative care, so she understands pain in her patients.  However, she either doesn't believe that I am in terrible pain on a daily basis, or she's in denial that her "baby" is sick.  For those of you who are familiar with fibro, sometimes you fall into that, "but you don't look sick," category.  My dad is a very non emotional guy.  He doesn't understand anything about what I'm going through.  So, he doesn't say anything, but he gives me those "looks."  I have tried to talk to my parents on numerous occasions about what I am going through, but they just don't get it, don't hear me, don't believe me, or are denying the truth.  BTW-I am better at writing things down, and I've written them several letters, but so far, it hasn't helped.  And, you can imagine what all of this does for my anxiety!

 

Anyway, this is very frustrating.  Like I said, it is humiliating living with your parents when you are an adult.  I fought against moving home for so long, I drained all of my 401K and my IRA to stay in CA.  So, now I have no future to live off of.    I really try to stay out of everyone's way, but I pitch in with the laundry, dishes, and I even cook sometimes.  It's hard on my fibro, but I don't want to feel like I'm leeching off of them.

 

Oh well, what can you do?  Thanks again for listening.

"However, she either doesn't believe that I am in terrible pain on a daily basis, or she's in denial that her "baby" is sick."

Hey Kelly, boy, do I know where you're coming from with that thought about your mom!!! I have the same problem and I was diagnosed over 12 years ago with Crohn's disease. Denial from your parents is tough when you have a chronic illness... and as you've already discovered, it can make it much harder for you to manage your illness because you're dealing with the anxiety caused by their denial. They just want things to be normal and they can't accept that the child they brought into the world isn't perfect and, in adulthood, does still need them to get through a tough time. I remember vividly hearing my mom say things like "I don't know what I did to cause this" or "I don't know what I did to deserve this" after I was diagnosed... as though there just had to be something that she did that caused me to have Crohn's, and that somehow she should have seen it coming and prevented it. In my case, and maybe in yours, it would certainly have helped if she'd been less anxious herself when I was growing up and not had such excessive expectations and such an unpredictable way of reacting to things when they went wrong.

I'm glad that you found this forum and hope we can help each other with coping with our illnesses and our parents! Like you, I tend to talk it all out, but that's okay, it's just how we express ourselves. Hope to talk to you more here.

Take care,

Betsy (-: