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OLD - FEAR OF BEING ALONE, HOMELESS & DYING

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 11/27/2008 9:53 PM (GMT 0)

I'm a 53 year old women who has come to the realization that she may be alone, become homeless and will eventually die.

I am emotional because of menopause and was diagnosed as bipolar II 2 months ago. The psychiatrist put me on bipolar meds and somehow the meds put me in a very anxious state and then all my fears came out which made me feel like I was going to have a panic attack everyday. I just wanted it to stop!

My fears have been their for years, it's just that I choice not to see them.  My fears are:  I depended on my husband to take care of the finances and we are now in debt, he refuses to seek any help with our finances & is very argumentive. Should he die, I will lose our house. I work for the state so my income is low. I tried working part-time, but it became very grueling on my body, because I also have fibromyalgia. We have no money saved. My husband hardly spends time with me and has his own life. Should he divorce me, I would have to file for bankruptcy. Our only child used to keep me busy and was my companion, now our child is attending college and will soon leave the nest and wants to live abroad. 

I have been very anxious and scared for 2 months now and I can't make it stop.  I can't sleep, I'm fatigued, I can't think straight, I'm a total wreck and it's affecting my job. I am on neurotin and my psychiatrist says I have to find my own coping skills to deal with my fears. How do I find my coping skills!  Where do I begin?  What do I do?  Help!  The Dr. won't put me on any other meds because she says it would make my bipolar worse.(???)  I just want relief.

Aiko

Posted 11/27/2008 9:59 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome to HW
I can feel your pain and your frustration
I also know some of how you are feeling

Hun you look at resources up at top in yellow
There is self help techniques and CBT links a free online one

PLUS read many of the threads here the good and sad the venting ones and even the laughter and fun threads
This is how you will get to know us
Introduce yourself on the thread for that
PLEASE no you are NO longer alone
I suffer with Fibro as well
I truly believe you need a doc that will help you you have to sleep and eat and that is to just stay alive so you must do alot more as does your doc need to do alot more to HELP you to FUNCTION with all that is going on within you and within your anxiety
Especially this time of year.........

Email me if you would like k
I do hope you will stay and keep posting
NEVER GIVE UP.......There is always hope..........God Bless....LYN
Posted 11/27/2008 10:02 PM (GMT 0)
With all that you are going with here you should write out a list of the FIRST things that HAVE to be taken care of and so on
Keeping a list will help you to get some things done by baby steps if need be
I know we will support an help you in anyway we are able

......LYN
YOU are NOT alone
Posted 11/27/2008 10:29 PM (GMT 0)

Aiko,

Well first of all I am so sorry your feling this way.  I am glad you found us.

Give those meds a chance to kick in and also try the CBT that Lyn pointed out in our references or find a therapist.

How bad is your fibro and the bipolar?  Do you have manic attacks?

Do not worry you are not alone now, you have all of us to brainstorm with .  I am thinking out loud smhair The list of what needs to be done first is an excellent idea.

I would start with finding out exactly where your finances stand, what are the outstanding bills and what is the income, also life insurance policies and every little thing you can think of.  Do you have a car, etc.

AGain welcome to our world.

I hope you stay with us.

Hugs

Kitt

Posted 11/29/2008 2:59 AM (GMT 0)
Lyn & Kitt,

Thanks for your support and advice. I'm new here.. what is CBT and how do I access it?

Kitt, my fibro gives my bodyaches, fatigue and an overall run down feeling. As for my bipolar, I'm told by my Dr. that I am mild, but I can't tell when I'm manic or not.
Posted 11/29/2008 3:20 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Aiko, you will find lots of support here. I agree with Kitt about finding out everything you can about the financial situation. I have been in debt before and it helped enormously to get all the information together, write down each account and what was owed, and tackle it a step at a time. Like you, I have a state job that does not pay lots of money but is steady work that I can handle with my health situation. I have had trouble keeping jobs in the past and have had fears about ending up without a home or enough money in old age, but so far I have managed to keep this job for 5 years and am hopeful about the future and being able to stick with it. Lyn is right about taking baby steps and finding a doctor who will truly help you, someone who will help you begin to feel stronger and take steps to improve your health so you can support yourself if necessary. Please keep us posted, you will find kind people here who want to listen and help.

Take care,

Betsy
Posted 11/30/2008 12:25 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Aiko,

Welcome. The free CBT is www.moodgym.com.au and is simple but effective. I am so glad you found us and I hope you stick around. We support each other here.

Meg

Posted 11/30/2008 12:40 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Megs for posting the CBT info.  Just click on the link and you go right to the site.  I have heard many people say how wonderful the therapy is, it is  all online and best of all it is free.

Moodgym has a new free help site if you want to take a look at this one too. It is also free.

http://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome

 

Aiko, if you clean your whole house in one day and order everything you see online.........you could be having a manic attack. smhair  

 

Hugs

Kitt

Posted 11/30/2008 12:47 AM (GMT 0)

Aiko..come clean my house?

Nah just joking, thanks Kitt for the new link..I will go visit.

Meg

Posted 11/30/2008 11:34 PM (GMT 0)
....Just wondering how you are making out Aiko

Turning 55 this yr I am turn

We do care about ppl here

LYN

Posted 12/1/2008 6:02 AM (GMT 0)
Lyn,

Thanks for your concern, I'm hanging in there. I've tried to get onto www.moodgym.com.au and http://ecouch.anu.au/welcome, as Meg & Kitt suggested, but I'm having difficulties in registering... it just doesn't take. I did find some other interesting sites under "Resources".

This CBT is new to me. My psychiatrist said I had to find my own coping skills to deal with my fears, which is very difficult for me. I was wondering whether I should find a psychologist who does CBT. Does CBT really help?
Posted 12/1/2008 6:47 PM (GMT 0)

I am sorry you have not been able to get online for CBT.  I will try and see if it works for me, the new site.

Cognitive behaviour therapy is really a form of psycho-education. It’s a training program, it’s learning how to think certain ways. And a lot of training programs are online now, so it is possible to do it.

 It takes some hard work and a lot of believe that you can heal from anxiety attacks.

Hugs

Kitt

Posted 12/1/2008 8:03 PM (GMT 0)

Aiko,

Hi there, Just click on the link and on the main page it will have a place to register in the left hand corner of E-couch.  I just joined and I really like this one.  Just remember your user name and password.  cool

Good Luck.

Kitt

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