I'm sooo sorry.

Lyn, Kitt, Meg, Nanners , all of you who have been so wonderful, understanding and supportive. I am one of those peole that have gotten so much support but haven't been here to support others lately.... I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart.... I love you all so much... you have no idea how much I value each and everyone of you... you have been my lifeline.... I honestly believe that I would be so much worse if you weren't here. I am trying to take each of your advice and apply it.... I am desperately trying to get better... with your help I will.... this too shall pass and I WILL be back to my zippity doo da self. I have been guilty of gross neglect on my part... neglecting the very family that has made it possible for me to feel like PTSD, Depression, CD etc... will not get the best of me.

PLease accept my regret.... I promise to be here more often.... 3 a.m is a good time as I am usually up from a nightmare....

I love you all.... even if I haven't written much lately... you are all only a heartbeat away.

I will talk to all soon.... set my worries and sadness aside and will re- connect to my favorite people. It 's just that I haven't felt that my advice would be so good, when I am such a mess myself.... but I will try my best... I sure don't want to lose this family. I have felt so worthless and unworthy that I really didn't feel I'd be missed a whole lot. .... but the point of this family is to support each other regardless of how we feel....

So sending you all healing thoughts and prayers... forgive me... Will talk to you .... tonite probably.

Mary

mary you never have to apologise, you are the kindest person with the hugest heart and what you are going through sounds like pure hell. please lean on us when it gets too heavy, but also dont feel bad about not being around, you are SO loved by people here. if you ever want to email me, that would be great, im here for you always, as are the others.

im praying for you as you struggle through this dark time- but i belive you are strong and will see your way through this.

i love you- Maz XX

Hey Me to, Me too.........I luvs ya.  You are kind and caring and you have been through more then many people could survive. 
You take the time you need to get back up to speed.

We miss you but we understand.

Hugs and Prayers

Kitt

Hello all.... forcing myself out of my depressed stupor and coming for a visit as promised....
Its raining... pouring buckets outside... but my beautiful daughter has put the xmas tree up.... it is sooo beautiful... I want to drag people off the street to come see my tree.... 'HEY LADY" come here.... come see my tree.... its the best one in town!
ps. I feel like that every xmas .... always think I have the best tree. Put up the xmas village and manger.
My heart is filled with sadness and darkness... so many intrusive thoughts.... but I do love the xmas lights.... they seem to be doind me some good....
You are all my xmas lights!!! You bring THE LIGHT into my life when there is nothing but darkness.... I love you all my dear friends/ family.
Hanging on to all of you.... will not let this get the best of me. ! Thank you so much for being here as always.
Your posts make me cry especially when I feel like this world would be better without me.... I would never, never follow through on such a thought.... my children have been through enough in their young lives... I guess... part of the problem is that I blame myself a lot for their suffering and trauma...
Healing thoughts and prayers.... all my love with every beat of my tired old heart.
Mary