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I feel so empty inside

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Posted 1/11/2009 7:48 AM (GMT 0)
    My sister has been living with a liver desease for years. The past year and a half she has been at end stage liver but was doing well. I was seeing her alot until my car broke down, she called we talked but my brother in law waited two weeks to call 911 when she was sleeping not eatting or drinking. When the hospital couldn't do anything they told me to send her to hospice. Remarkably she got better and was sent back home. She did well for a few weeks but now she is alful. They are saying two weeks max.

 I don't understand it all but she went from sleeping to seems to be stiff. She is in a fetal position, if you move her she screams in pain. All they have her on is pain meds. I have been trying to feed her and give her drinks, which she was drinking a lot. But today she just looks so bad. I feel helpless.

 I was told  that normally they just go to sleep and don't wake up with liver shut down. That isn't the case with her. She doesn't want to sleep but is so out of it. We are so close and this is killing me.  If anyone knows what happens like is stiffness a symptom? Please let me know. She is a fighter, she has proven that.

  I have had to take care of other family members I just don't know how much more I can take. My family thinks I am the strong one, but it is only a act. cry

Posted 1/11/2009 8:18 AM (GMT 0)

RebelSkye, welcome to HW. I am so sorry that you are dealing with family illness- of course you want someone to be strong for you- its ok to feel helpless. is your sister in hospital at the moment? are you dealing directly with her physicians? Your brother-in-law sounds insensitive- im sorry if that seems harsh, but to wait 2 weeks to get emergency medical attention is simply not good enough. Do YOU have a support system? Friends, parents, other family who can help you carry this weight? Im sorry you have to experience this and just want you to know that we are here to listen, support, advise and encourage. Its normal in a situation like yours to feel overwhelmed- no one should have to carry the load of nursing a loved one by themselves. Is there anyway to get home help or a community nurse to stop in and check in on your sister? im sure you need a break, but feel guilty if you take one. if your feelings are truly troubling you, maybe you could talk to your doctor about counselling?

Please, stay with us, keep us posted. dont give up and dont give in, we are here to listen.

Maz XX

Posted 1/11/2009 8:19 AM (GMT 0)

Hi rebelskye,

I'm so sorry you are going through such an awful time. It is incredibly difficult to lose a loved one. Please don't feel that you need to be strong for your family. You should be supporting each other..not feeling you need to act.

We are here to listen and support you too k? I am not a health professional so I can't comment on your sisters disease. I hope you have time to say goodbye and I am sure she knows you love her.

Let us know how you go,

Hugs, Meg

Posted 1/11/2009 1:51 PM (GMT 0)
rebelskye,

i am so very sorry that you are going through such a rough time right now. i can't imagine how hard it must be to watch your sister go through this. i understand being strong for everyone else, but it sounds like you really need someone to be strong for you right now. do you have someone in your life that you can be honest with and "unload" on? you can't bear the brunt of this all by yourself-it's just too much to ask one person. i pray that you do have someone you can turn to that can help you through this.

please, also remember that you can come here and we will support you in any way we can. {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}
Posted 1/11/2009 4:31 PM (GMT 0)
Will keep you and your sister in my prayers. I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time in your life. I agree with some of the others, maybe you could contact someone in hospice or the hospital chaplain to talk to during this difficult time.

Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*
Posted 1/11/2009 11:13 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome RebelSkye!

You have already been given some great advice. I would just like to say as a in home care provider of my grandmother, that you are doing a great job but you can only do so much. Get some help for the both of you right now during this difficult time. You and your family is in my prayers.
Posted 1/12/2009 1:15 AM (GMT 0)

Thanks everyone for you comments. No I don't have anyone else to go to. The one I always went to passed last April from cancer. Both my parents are gone, which I cared for also. One brother is in Indiana the other one here I care for also. One sister has Parkenson in Colorado, the other is not really well since her hit and run, it affected her brain. I have cared for everyone for years except for one.

She is not in the hospital she is under hospice care at home. I am close to all my siblings but this one well tight just isn't the word. I see her getting worse everyday. It's hard.

You were not being harsh my brother in law and I don't get along with him. I pretend to keep my stress down, but its not real.

I appreciate you all for responding it helps gives me a little piece.  I have not given up hope but on the other hand I can feel it coming. I have a panic disorder most of my family has it too, so that makes it harder. I average at least 5 a day most times more.

Again thanks for responding, I needed it. confused

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