irrational worrying... need help!!!

Hi everyone
I was diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder 2 years ago and im currently taking citalopram 20mg for the past year it seems to do the trick for the sudden dreaded panic attacks as they are less intense and I can get on very well with my activities, work, socialising, shopping, travelling etc...
But recently over the past 2 months after a particular incident, Ive been having EXTREME bouts of worrying and anxiety.This is the incident that has me worrying constantly.... when I was travelling on the bus home from work one afternoon an old man sat down in the seat right beside me and took out a book and was reading as I glanced down I saw that his hand was slightly on my left leg I waited for a few moments thinkin he would realise he was touching my leg and remove his hand but he didn't so I shifted my leg and banged my bag lightly down on his hand and he then removed it and he looked a little flustered then immediately got off the bus. So then the rest of the evening I didn't think anything of it until that night, in bed I started to get a fear that maybe he stabbed me with something like a syringe and that I would get Aids and I do have an extreme fear of catching this disease in particular, I keep thinking and worrying about this over the past few weeks until im sick with worry I know the thoughts are irrational and that I would have seen a syringe in the man's hand, would have felt it if he had stabbed me, and it would have left a mark on my leg but I can't stop worrying!!!
My boyfriend has been so helpful to me during these bouts of worrying and most times when I think of this incident it will have me in tears as I get so worked up about what if he did stab me and I get aids. Im wondering does any one else on this anxiety thread have similar irrational worrying or any way in which I can overcome this.
Thank You

Post Edited (Laneyx25x) : 1/14/2009 12:39:01 PM (GMT-7)

Nikki you little copy cat you!!! Just kidding, you crack me up girl. And what great advice you gave Laney, I am really proud of your growth Nikki. See Laney, you are not alone, stay with us, you never will be.

Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*

Welcome, Laney. I'm glad you've found us.

I can identify with your fears in some ways. Years ago, I was sitting in the public library, and started to notice a little tickling or brushing against my behind. Thinking I'd imagined it, I went back to reading. Slowly, I realized that it was some creep sitting behind me getting his jollies by pestering strange women with a pencil. I thrust back my chair very suddenly and made a big to-do of leaving.

That kind of nasty surprise seems to trigger other anxieties for some of us. For me, it was days of obsessing about how I should have reacted. For you, it's fearing a sneak attack of HIV. Either way, that's our anxiety using the "shock" and off-balance experience to get past our defenses. I agree with other posters that if you didn't feel a prick or notice any wounds, you should be quite safe. Of course, you can always get a test when the timing is appropriate, but be careful that you don't let yourself obsess over this event for very long.

Since you're prone to anxiety, it certainly will take every chance it gets to push on your boundaries, and this sounds like a prime example of it. Try to relax, accept that you're upset by the event, and tell yourself it's perfectly okay to just be upset and agitated without a more detailed "target." Breathe deeply, and remind yourself that you did respond in a very firm and clear way by smashing his hand (Bravo!). You acted in a smart way, and that's something to feel positive about in this situation.

percycat

Hello Laneyx25x,

Welcome to HealingWell and the A & P forum.  I am Kitt.

First of all I am sorry you have the anticipatory anxiety and sounds like health anxiety re aids etc.  I know how awful it feels to be in the circle of fear.

My take on the situation..............you did not get stabbed with a needle, you would have felt it.  IMHO a nasty old man copped a feel..............now I would have spoken up and said "Get your hand off my leg"

I was sitting next to a older gentlemen at a Casino who was trying to scoop his coins out of the coin bin and his hand was on my leg............."cuss he could not see well" was his excuse.............LOL.  I spoke fight up and said hey you hand is on my leg.............. puleez.

You may want to read in the Aids forum and get a good understanding of how Aid/HIV is really spread.

I too would recommend you would benefit from therapy to help get over the fears.

Take care
Kitt