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Does anyone have a problem with anxiety due to unresolved anger?

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Posted 1/24/2009 6:49 AM (GMT 0)

I have found at certain times in my life, if I become angry

with someone and for some reason cannot go to that person and resolve the anger that it has a very negative effect on my life and causes symtoms of anxiety.   I have been seeing a counsellor but she is not helping me and I just wondered if anyone else has a problem when something like this happens?  There are times when I don't think about it, but there are other times when I have such obsessive thoughts about it that it makes me sick. 

 

Thank you,

Wiggyann

Posted 1/24/2009 8:40 AM (GMT 0)
I do also have this type of anxiety except my unresolved anger and resentment is towards myself and some others...But mainly ME! I need to forgive, but it is easier said than done. I too am working with the shrinks and I still get very anxious when I think about myself and my past and what has happened and the people who were there. I know how you feel but I am confident that I will forgive...Confront or... let go of these feelings and thoughts this year....This is my goal. gillxx
Posted 1/24/2009 2:12 PM (GMT 0)
Wiggyann,

For me it's not just unresolved anger, but unresolved conflict of any kind. Sometimes, I am angry with the person I can't go to, but other times, I'm afraid of their anger (or violence!), or ashamed and worried about their hurt feelings, you name it. Definitely, lack of resolution of interpersonal problems sets my anxiety off something fierce!

percycat
Posted 1/24/2009 2:27 PM (GMT 0)
I have problems with unresolved anger also mine feels more like a grudge toward the other party and anger at my self for being so stupid.

I guess I never felt that way before my son was killed but after that I feel I changed. In fact just typing this is hard for me so that is my 2 cents.

Hugs

Kitt
Posted 1/24/2009 5:36 PM (GMT 0)
Count me in that group too!!! When my husband and I have a disagreement, my anxiety always kicks in because at times he can be very stubborn and that just makes me madder. So you are not alone.
Posted 1/24/2009 9:16 PM (GMT 0)

Thanks everyone.  I hesitated sharing about my anger because I didn't want people to think I was a terrible person who holds unforgiveness in my heart because I 've never thought of myself as being that kind of person.  But over the years,  something will come along and really knock me down for the count.  

wiggyann

 

  

Posted 1/24/2009 10:54 PM (GMT 0)
I also have anger issues when I KNOW my siblings are trying to get something out of me mostly money
I laso am so angry that they never tried to help me at all prior to mom and dads deaths

But oh boy they are just waiting for their share of the house money when and if it sellds thats all they ask me about
Sick and so bloody wrong
Mom and Dad did all for them thru their lives what a way to pay back eh

I am trying NOT to hold grudges but I have 10 plus yrs of looking after my parents and they dont have the memories I do and they COULD have

NO you are not alone

I will write down why I am angry and in a mood and then what I should do about it
right down to if the pharmacy makes major error
Take a couple of days to calm down and then I call them ( all ) on it
They are not use to me being this way as I was a Yes person all the time before
I had to please all ..........
NO more.........
Good thread IMHO

Luvs
LYN
Posted 1/25/2009 6:16 AM (GMT 0)
Kitt,

I'm so sorry to hear that you lost a son. I didn't know.

Bless you, dear one
Wiggyann
Posted 1/25/2009 6:47 AM (GMT 0)
Lyn,

I would feel the same way you do about my siblings in the situation you are in. It's so unfair, yet it goes on a lot in families.

I took an assertiveness training class once and did really well in the class. Unfortunately, I have a lot of touble applying it to real life situations :-(

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eyes (The Little Prince)

wishing you peace in this situation,
wiggyann
Posted 1/25/2009 7:52 AM (GMT 0)
Yeah I too have noticed that when I get angry or when I think about something from the past that hurt or angered me my anxiety acts up.
Posted 1/25/2009 8:45 PM (GMT 0)
Your in good company my friend. I think with many of us that we have unresolved anger along with other issues that is an uphill battle. I think that all any of us can do is use our CBT techniques and take it one day at a time smile IMHO opinion there is a big difference in just anger being blown out of proportion and righteous anger for something that has been done to us that is wrong. . . I hope all of us can lift ourselves up however, because the anger is poison after awhile my friend. Sometimes we have to just let go as much as we can.
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