Thankyou all so much!
i have made an appointment to see my doc and get some sort of pain management plan going, because my whole body is aching from head to toe- sensitive to touch. it hurts my muscles when i lift my arms to wash my hair- i cant do it and i dont have the strength too either. i feel bruised and swollen, and my whole head is ultra congested, sinus is bad and this is the worst fibro flare ive had in months- having glandular fever doesnt help. I have a bronchial infection and my lungs ache and my throat is torn up from all the coughing. i can handle one illness at a time, but when 3 or 4 hit at once, i get overwhelemed. my sleep is fractured and unrefreshing- i keep dragging myself into work and do my best to help my students in any way i can. but im like a zombie, im that tired.
I was scheduled to have a repeat of my sinus surgery in April, but its been pushed back to june. although i have had multiple surgeries, any surgery is dangerous as i dont have a key clotting factor and end up bleeding out on the table and needing transfusions. I also need more surgery on my ovarian cysts, and diathermy on my endometriosis. I have private health insurance, but i stilll have to pay the gap, so i am saving like crazy, which means working like crazy, even though my body hates me.
I feel fragile and sore and sad and overwhelmed- but i KNEW my HW family would understand and i do feel bad that i have not been around as much but every fibre of my being is screaming at me, revolting against me- its like my impaired immune system attacks ITSELF. how dumb is that?
I love and treasure you all- Aries, Kitt, Sam, Junebug- thankyou for understanding and for caring. Im not anxious or panicky at the moment at all, just wiped out emotionally as the physical pain and fatigue and other symptoms take hold. I AM anxious about work & money...but thats another story.
I love you, i really do- my 2nd family,
Maz XX