So, I'm going to be making an appointment with my doctor about
a gradual return back to work.
But my problem is, I no longer live in the place my job is, so I'd have to travel.
Not being able to be in a safe place, incase something happens... really causes my anxiety to rise. Even thinking about it, my heart rate goes up and I get a dreadful feeling in my stomach.
It's 30 minutes of highway from where I am to my work, then I have to work and be able to drive back. My concern is... what if something happens anywhere along the way... what am I going to do? What if my leg decides to start hurting and I can't drive? What if I have a panic attack at work? What if I'm just not ready to start working again and I'm forcing myself to early?
There are so many unknowns... and right now I don't even leave my house on a good day. I know I have a problem, but since I moved I haven't been able to see any of my councillors (they all live that 30 minutes away).
To move back to where I work I need money, to get money I have to work.
But I'm still going to do this... I'm going to go back to work... I just don't like it.