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Posted 3/16/2009 12:44 AM (GMT 0)
So, I know I am knew to this forum and I have yet to "meet" many of you....but I am just in such a funk right now. I had this terrible fear that I had herpes and I have never had symptoms or unprotected sex...but I just can't get these irrational thoughts out of my head. I keep checking myself for something that is very unlikely I have..but I just can't stop. It is beginning to make me very depressed. I am extremely social and I just haven't wanted to leave home since I started having anxiety again this week. I have been anxiety free for about 6 months and all of the sudden it came back. I just don't know what to do anymore you guys. I have to go back to school on Tuesday and leave my parents. I am really involved in a big club on campus and I am vice president of programming. I am scared that I am not going to want to socialize and I won't be myself anymore. I don't think that many people, minus my close friends, know about my anxiety and I don't want to have to answer questions. Also, I just feel dirty. I don't want to be intimate with this guy I have been seeing anymore. I don't know why. Maybe because of my fears. I just don't know what to do. I feel like my outsides don't match my insides. I look in the mirror and see a pretty girl, but I just don't feel that way inside. I also just recently changed my major from Biology to psychology. I have always loved psychology but I am scared I'm going to keep diagnosing myself with disorders because of my fears. I really want to get over this becuase I think I will be a great therapist one day. I just have to kick these crazy thoughts. What shoudl I do? Have any of you experienced these feelings? How did you get through them?

I really want thank G-d that I found this support group because, I swear, since I have...I already feel so much better.

Thank you guys so much.
Posted 3/16/2009 2:14 AM (GMT 0)
Bubbles,
I think it's pretty common for people studying psychology to feel like they have some of those problems themselves. Maybe you can talk to a mentor or a counselor about your fears.

I think it would be good for you to try to get to the root of your fear about herpes. Like you said, it's pretty unlikely you even have it & it sounds like you've been tested already, but what if you did test positive? What's the worst that could happen? Lots of people have herpes & live perfectly normal lives. They need to be a bit more careful when being intimate with a negative partner, but other than that it isn't any kind of horrible death sentence or anything. Some people go on meds to control outbreaks, but others don't even take meds for their condition. Sometimes that's what helps me when I start to get too worried about something. I play it out in my head and try to figure out what is the absolute worst case scenario. Usually I discover that even if absolutely everything is as bad as it possibly could be that it still isn't anything to really get all worried about.

Hope that helps, let me know if I can do anything for you. :)

hugs,
frances
Posted 3/16/2009 2:59 AM (GMT 0)
Bubbles,

I really connect with what you are saying. I feel very much like this a lot of the time, though my symptoms are different. I lead a very similar life to yours and share your fears. Sometimes I force myself to be social even though on the inside I feel like I want to run away. I personally worry that everyone can see how much anxiety I have and I worry about how it makes me appear to them when I do act on it. I am a college senior and being in a transitional stage in my life has made matters worse, not to mention the fact that I feel like my life up to this point has not been what I wanted it to be. I don't know if I am helping you at all I just wanted to let you know, from a peer, that I understand. Talking about it is really helpful for me and I'd be interested in speaking with you further if you think it would help you as well.

Email me if you need anything. Good luck and all the best.
Posted 3/16/2009 11:48 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much you guys. I think that the root of my fears stems from the fact that I am scared of rejection. I think if I had herpes, no one would ever want to be with me. And journaldan, you really helped me a lot. thank you so much.
Posted 3/16/2009 1:38 PM (GMT 0)

Bubbles,

Good Morning, this is Kitt.

Do you have a counselor or therapist on campus that you could talk to about your fears? Having someone to talk to one on one may be a great help to you.  I can understand not wanting to discuss this with your friends.

I hope you are feeling better soon and know we support you so please continue to post your feelings to us.

Blessings,
Kitt

Posted 3/16/2009 3:25 PM (GMT 0)
Bubbles,

You are so welcome, I am glad I was able to help. I think it can be most helpful to talk to people in similar situations as you. I feel like I just got to hear the a small portion of what is bothering you, I feel like if you were led to post on these boards you are really trying to reach out. Please, please, don't stop posting if you are still feeling badly. Talking with others in my situations helps me greatly too so while I hope you're feeling better, I also hope that if you need us you stay around.

Hope you are having a good day today.
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