confused and lost

ok i am 30 yrs old i am on ritalian klonopin and celexa, ok my question is that i have never gone to a phsychiatrist or anything like that my md gave me these rx. and the combination is working wonders,(along with alot more personal awareness) I feel like i did way back when i was a about 22 or 23 again mentally. i don't know what exactly is wrong with me, that is whats eating at me i know what these meds are for and yes they are making a great difference in my ability to live life(cause i had no ability in that matter prior ask my ex wife) people think i am putting on a show or showing off, but really i am just so happy and excited by the changes that i tell everybody everything. so people think i am wierder than i was before. i was just wondering if anyone could shed some light on what the combination means. i would like to gather info and do research on the condidtions and if its more than just one ie adhd anxiety depression or if its just one and she doesn't know it. when i first started taking them i really didn't think it would help at all and i quit and then things got bad again. so i know they are working it just i need to know what exactly it is that i am dealing with so that i can deal with it and work on it and move forward in my life.

ok well first off i was in denial well not exactly denial but i thought i could make myself "strong enough" that i could deal with all of it without medication or help and apparently the only person that i fooled was myself. my older brother is severly bi p and paranoid schz my mother is severly bipolar and on all sorts of things i seen all she went through trying to get the meds right and that they were constantly changing what she was on so i just figured i could ignore or control or cope the fear the panic the depression. i was wrong a little after my 30 th birthday i don't know what u would call it but i slipped into my own personal hell. my girlfriend broke up with me and i guess thats what my "trigger" was. i guess u could just say i lost it. i couldn't keep control over everything anymore my fear got so bad i wouldn't leave the house, i was sleeping all day long i had to take lots and lots of energy supplements and drinks just to go to work. i got fired for the first time in my life. so symptoms would be like a roller coaster out of control i would be on the highest high then the lowest low till the high part didn't come back again i thought about killing myself alot. the only thing that stopped me is that i knew that it would hurt everyone so much and i couldn't do that to my family. i felt like life was over just waiting to die thats all that was left. i would get so scared around people that i didn't know that i would act the fool all the time to mask what was really going on with me. if i touched a drop of liquor then i was on a binge and didn't stop till i couldn't walk. i was completely and totally out of control ended up in jail for going into my exes house to talk to here in the middle of the night when i was drunk. i was so desperate to talk to anyone someone cause i knew everything was going out of control. fear, sadness beyond even what that word can describe and an inabilty to think, i think that was the biggest thing i am to say the least very intelligent and yes i am proud of that. thats why this is so hard for me i can't think my way out of it because its my brain thats doing it to me it just sucks because my greatest asset my intelligence has been robbed from me in my plight against what is going on i cannot turn it to this thing that is wrong and solve it i realize that there is no solving it just learning to deal with it. and now that i am medicated the roller coaster is gone i miss the highs for sure but the are not worth the lows that i fell to. i am even keeled i have made a bunch of new friends in the last six moths i know when i need to take a klpin i feel the aneixty comoing or i know that in the situation i am going into that its gonna happen so i prepare myself. perception is the biggest difference the way i see things now compared to before i was rx is absolutly different. my dx didn't understand what i meant hwen i told her that but i told her anyways my life is easier now i guess but i feel a need to understand why. i dont know that i have the same problems as my ma or brother but i know that the olnly thing that is going to give me comfort is to know what i am up against.

Ritalian is not a med that a Physciatrist would give out for depression, but if you have ADHD then yes your Doctor would be right in Rx that medication. 

IMHO it would benefit you to see  a Physciatrist for your problems as they sepcialize in mental health, your GP does not.  I know it is a shame we can not have one stop shop physicians.

Welcome to HealingWell.

Kitt

well that was really simple and makes lots of sense i foung a website for add and looked around on there and low and behold there was something on there that described exactly what i was going through. they called it comid conditons that are based in the same neurological pathways in other words i guess i am wired funny. if anyone has another opionion or has a similar situation would love to hear of your expeirences would be a great way to learn and i will share mine with you ( have had a whole lot of things happen and gone through)

i found an excellent resource that i would like to share its on the comorbidity or adhd depression anxiety and bipolar disorder the address is http://cme.medscape.com/viewarticle/418740 it doesn't put it simply but has some good information.