hi i am new to this board. i am 42 years of age, mum to a boy aged 5, and going through a nasty divorce which has dragged on for the past 17 months with little progress though I did manage to get sole residency of my son, thank god. (my ex was abusive).
since my twenties, i have suffered anxiety and panic attacks. in my twenties, i was convinced something was wrong with my heart as it was palpitations and flutterings that drove me crazy and scared me to tears. after having been tested for any heart defects, docs decided it was anxiety/depression/panic. they gave me xanax which at first worked brilliantly.
anyway, jump ahead twenty years. i have kept myself fit. i go to the gym at least 4 times a week and i try to take care of myself. and for many years, i was on top of these anxiety attacks. i cut out caffeine, took exercise, got good sleep, took magnesium tablets which helped with the palps, did whatever i could.
now, the panic/anxiety has stuck its giant talons in me again, only this time its far worse. gone are the palpitations. now, i go around feeling very very weak, as if i am about to pass out, and this is far scarier than any heart palp ive had.
i dont feel in control. i cannot even tolerate exercise anymore most of the time as halfway through it, or even just minutes into a workout, i feel like im gonna drop dead or at least black out.
i dont feel right. im having blood work done. ive had two borderline smears in six months and having a coloscopy done next week which will hopefully rule out anything physical.
if it is just anxiety or panic, or even depression, then its severe, and i need the right meds for it. i still take xanax, but it does not stop that feeling like i am gonna pass out. i think ive built up a tolerance for it but scared to increase the dose.
i am afraid every day. i hate this. my head is clogged, that body weakness is awful and very scary and i just need to get back on top of this monster and manage it again.
it was like it was in 'remission' for years, then BAM has come back in a big way as ive been under enormous stress past 17 months (my ex was extremely vindictive and made false allegations that i threatened to harm our son among other allegations none of which are true but which caused me terrible distress).
i feel like i have 'battle fatigue' or post traumatic stress from this whole ordeal.
my ex was a headworker, his abuse was psychological and maybe the six years with him and the aftermath of leaving him and currently being poor and in limbo whilst i await financial relief, maybe thats what this is all about? i have also had to go through all of this alone without family for moral support, as my family all live abroad. i think its taken its toll, whether or not this turns out to be physical or purely mental.
have any of you experienced this kind of abnormal fatigue and weakness that scared you cos you dont understand it? i mean, i feel so weak that i fear driving for fear i will pass out at the wheel.
had bloodwork done a few months ago, came back normal, so anemia or diabetes symptoms is probably ruled out. my only physical worry really is the borderline smears which are probably also caused from too much stress.
any input appreciated, thanks x