I've just been signed off work for 2 weeks with stress/anxiety. I am undergoing a lot of stress with my current illness of Ulcerative Colitis/Proctitis, the whole situation is being very prolonged and I am currently waiting to see a specialist/surgeon to discuss surgery. I am struggling with work emotionally as well as physically which is why my GP has signed me off.
However my main issues are that of my childhood/growing up, everything is at the forefront of my mind at the moment and its causing me to worry about everything...mainly people close to me, I'm terrified of losing them. I lashed out a few years ago and exaggerated about things that had actually happened to me and I also told some lies...I just wanted to be heard. I've had a lot of counselling to get over this and time has most certainly been a healer, but because of these mistakes I lost several very close friends. My family do not 100% trust me now and so that automatically makes me anxious to do everything I possibly can to make sure they don't find anything that might be misconstrued as me doing something wrong again. My parents are anxious of me being close to anyone incase I tell them anything at all about what has gone on with out family, and in case they think I'm going to cause problems again. However I have moved on from my mistakes, but I have developed this horrible anxiety now. My parents told the people involved that I had made EVERYTHING up, when that wasn't the case, and now I'm so scared of people not believing me and of my parents getting it all wrong, I'm terrified of losing people close to me.
I have one friend in particular that I am very close to and although she knows everything of my past, including my mistakes, I am stil terrified my parents will somehow influence the situation and I'll end up losing her. I've tried everything with my parents to try to get things completely normal but they are the kind of people who like to brush things under the carpet and keep things bottled up.
Anxiety in general is driving me mad, I'm not sleeping, often getting nauseous, dizzy, shakey and headachey (some of which is to do with the Colitis and meds). Do you think it would help if I spoke to my friend and told her I was anxious of losing her or is it best to just 'get on with it'?!