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Bizarre obsessive thought terrifying me

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Posted 10/25/2009 5:22 PM (GMT 0)
 Hello everyone,  last year i had major surgery and luckily never had anxiety symptoms in my 47 years but due to being given lots of morphine for several weeks it was suddenly stopped and i began a nightmare journey of panic attacks , severe anxiety and the most scary bizarre thoughts.  It was around Halloween time last year and i felt really panicky so went for a walk, the shop windows had all scary things in of course and i looked in one and saw cobwebs and spiders etc when from nowhere the most scary thought i am a spider came into my head, i panicked as i'd never experienced anything like it and wondered where it came from and why i was thinking such a thing, this has gone on all this time, there have been changes in the wording of the thought too, such as 3 weeks ago it went to i have turned into one causing panic all over again.  I was convinced i was crazy and eventually confessed my thoughts to my doctor but he said thats anxiety driven, its not delusions as you wouldn't be scared of them, when the anxiety goes the thoughts will go too.   I find it so hard to believe that such bizarre thoughts can be anxiety, there are some periods in the day when they go for a while or ease but then get really strong again. What i don't understand is why do they feel so real and believable even though part of me knows its irrational. My biggest fear as well as the thoughts is that even if the anxiety goes they will stay as they are engrained in my brain as i've had them for so long.  I am so scared as they aren't even what if thoughts , is my doctor right, can anxiety really do this and can i ever get better. Any help would be much appreciated, best wishes.
Posted 10/25/2009 6:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Dilly!

Welcome to HW and the A/P Forum. I am sorry you are dealing with irrational fears right now. Have you been taking meds from your doctor, or have you been seeing a therapist for these issues?
Posted 10/25/2009 7:17 PM (GMT 0)
 Thankyou for your welcome.  I've not taken meds as this started as a drug induced anxiety so my doctor says and i see him weekly as i am lucky in that he knows a great deal about anxiety, its really myself not understanding it enough and worrying whether it can cause such strange irrational thoughts as these. best wishes.

Posted 10/25/2009 8:54 PM (GMT 0)
Dilly

Hello and welcome to HealingWell.  I would strongly suggest you see a psychiatrist for a second opinion on what is going on with your mental health status.  You describe what sounds like delusions.  Bizarre delusions focus on matters that would be impossible in reality.

Anxiety can be a part of a delusional disorder too.

Please remember I am not a physician so do seek out a second opinion.

Take care and stick with us.

Kitt

Posted 10/26/2009 1:14 AM (GMT 0)
Just got back on here and you already received great advice. I agree with Kitt and feel like a second opinion from a psychiatrist would be in your best interest. . . Never hurts to double check things, because you have to be your own advocate for your health :)

Take care and keep us posted!
Posted 10/26/2009 7:19 AM (GMT 0)
I have already done that and told its not a mental health problem or a delusion as i don't believe the thoughts i am frightened of them but your posts have scared me  and i'm more worried now, sorry

Posted 10/26/2009 11:15 AM (GMT 0)

Dilly said...
thought " i am a spider came into my head"

Sorry Dilly as we did not intend to scare you but we are a peer support group and if your doctor feels it is anxiety then I would still look into therapy to help you learn how to deal with your unusual thoughts and fears.

Anxiety can cause so many sx and yes they do scare all of us when we think we are never going to get past the anxiety.

You have our support and I hope you can remember that you have anxiety it does not have you.  With some professional help and coming here and voicing your concerns you are taking all the right steps in learning to accept the anxiety and deal with it.

Blessings,

Kitt

Posted 10/27/2009 11:19 PM (GMT 0)
ive had various anxiety issues, and i really dont think its anything to worry about, i would say it is from all that morphine you were given clashing with anxiety, im not a professional but i would say that is what it is, i would cool down and wait for a few months untill all the side affects wear off from being given the morphine and see how you go but in the meantime, acknowlege your strange thoughts and look at them for what they are, like allow them to be there but dont go into it, take several steps back to your thoughts and distract yourself, whilst not fearing them just allow them to be there and think nothing of it other than, yes im having strange thoughts probably to do with all that medication but thats ok it will pass and i will get through it. try that first. i dont think u are crazy, ive had strange thoughts when i used to have depersonalization and was scared of them to, whilst i cant fully explain technically why, they are harmless and just silly and u will laugh about it later as time passes, i actually cant remember the thougts ive had, but i do remember after having gas in hospital combined with my already exisiting anxiety my head just went weird even days after but it passes.
im here if u ever need to chat.

Post Edited (oldsoul84) : 10/27/2009 5:22:02 PM (GMT-6)

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