Hello;
Well its almost one a.m. and about forty five minutes ago, I had an anxiety attack. Hadnt had one of those in quite a few weeks. Well what happened is all of a sudden my heart started beating like crazy. I think I have run myself down from work. So I grabbed my Lorezapam and cracked open the bottle, had the pill in my hand, with all this going on, and I then put it BACK IN THE BOTTLE and worked at getting a hold of myself. I didnt want to go there again but I am wondering whether if I did even half a pill would that have been disasterous? Non the less I didnt take anything and I ended up calling a nurse (24 hour hotline) and just needed to speak to someone to get me through this episode and so far it is working. No pills. I thought of even halving the pill, but I didnt. Its back in the bottle.
I have worked myself into the ground this week, is probably why. I have been drinking coffee again and I hear that is not so good. I think I will stop that for a while. I have been dealing with alot of stress at work, my own business and have been working to much. There are some days that my body feels so tense when I am done that there is almost a vibrating going through my neck into my head. Do you think its my muscles just being so tense. I am really trying to tackle the stress. The stress is absolutely horrible. I wonder if there are folks I can talk to about helping me manage stress?
For anxiety I think I had the perfect storm. Being alone, also in a rural community, no hospital near by, no family, no one to really talk to, and a business that I was running by myself that consumed my so much energy and time and of course me financially. No long weekends, or much time for myelf for the last three years. Its better now financially. But I think being alone is the worst with no one to talk to and just being alone. I just wished, for example when my anxiety happened tonight I could just call someone. Be it a little late at night, but just to have that opportunity sometimes would be enough. Oh, I also heard that one glass of wine after work would take the stress edge off so I did. But I had three glasses, small as they were, still I believe I am going back to not having any at all. I had totally stopped consuming any alchohol over the last few months. Not that I drink much at all except for a glass or two of wine.
Excuse for the lenghty post this time.
George