Posted 3/29/2010 5:49 PM (GMT 0)
Even when I'm in a non-depressive state... I still tend to have anxious feelings and worries... For instance, this morning... I noticed that my chemistry professor seemed frustrated with the class... Whenever a teacher gets frustrated... even though, I know it's not realistic... I believe that, somehow, it's my fault...
And lately, I have been worrying that I come across as... too arrogant... It's always been a background worry of mine, but it seems especially prevalent as of late... I'm not sure you guys notice on the board and everything.... But I think it must be pretty obvious whenever I'm speaking to someone... I don't mean to sound like I'm talking down to anyone or anything like that... but it sometimes comes across that way...
The best solution would be to just keep my mouth shut, but when I am feeling good, I'm a very enthusiastic person... and I like trying to be friendly...
Unfortunately, a lot of the things I'm enthusiastic about are... hmm... too advanced for a lot of other people.... I'll be engaging in a conversation, and suddenly I'll be given a weird look... or someone will exclaim... "Wow! You're really smart!" or in the worse case scenario, I'll be called a know-it-all or someone who acts like they know everything... And no matter how many times it happens, it always seems like such a surprise to me...
Other than keeping my mouth shut, I'm not really sure how to solve this particular problem... A lot of people seem to get intimidated by that kind of thing... and it makes me nervous because talking like I do comes naturally to me...
And I think there are probably other people that have this same problem... I wonder, for instance, how Stephen Hawking manages to hold a "normal" conversation... I wonder if it's very difficult for him?
For me, at least, I'm still somewhat accessible... But it doesn't change how a lot of people tend to regard me...