FEAR OF GOING CRAZY

Hi please read i need some reassurance! I am 20 years old and it's been about 2 1/2 months since i had my first panic attack. It was the result of a bad experience with drugs where I felt like I wasn't in my body, my ears were burning, intense head tingling/pain, shaking with fear, and terrible memory while on the drug. I just kept telling myself to fall asleep and I would wake-up and everything would be fine. The next day I felt completely normal a little shaken from the event. I went back to college a couple days later and tried to forget about the bizarre event but instead worried myself into a deep depression and an unbearable anxiety disorder. I went to the doctor and explained what had happened to me but all she could say was that it was due to the drug and it wouldn't happen again. I could not believe her though and constantly felt that the feeling was going to comeback at any time and I would lose myself completely!!! I had never heard of depersonalization. I thought something completely unheard of happened to me and it was going to comeback. Due to the extreme fear, constant worrying, and extreme headaches I had to take a break from college. I couldn't take it any longer and needed my family for support. I was and still am embarrassed to talk to my friends about what exactly I am going through. I've been seeing a psychologist and trying to stay active but my mind wont shut-up sometimes with the most terrible thoughts. It seems like every week I have a new fear that I fall so deeply into believing. For the past week I've been feeling like I am going to go crazy and then continues into what will happen to my parents what will everyone think, my life would be over. I keep analyzing everything I do. I listen for sounds and am afraid I will see things. Sometimes I listen so hard I think I make me believe I hear things or if I hear an unusual sound I automatically think I'm crazy. How do I move on from this? I've been reading this site for the past 2 weeks and I've read people's forums about some of the same feelings but I keep thinking I'm different I am going to go crazy. It's amazing how just one week ago I didn't even have this fear....It's terrible. I've been going to work and feeling only a little anxiety it helps me keep my mind off of thinking about it for periods and I try to exercise almost everyday which does help A LOT. I'm not sure what else I should do. I am on 50 mg of Zoloft and I was thinking about talking to my doctor tomorrow about upping the dosage. My depression has gotten a lot better but the anxiety is still pretty strong. Do you think this is a good idea? I've always been a worrier something I think I got from my mom but I've had a good life and I have a great family. Any suggestions?

Welcome to the world of Anxiety and Panic. Remember you are never alone. We know where you are coming from and what you are going through.



It feels to me like you may be experiencing anticipatory anxiety.
Anticipatory anxiety is where a person experiences increased levels of anxiety by thinking about an event or situation in the future. The worries you experience specifically focus on what you think might happen, often with catastrophic predictions about the event.

To begin treating anticipatory anxiety, we must be able to admit that we cannot predict the future. Any scenario we are able to imagine is nothing more than speculation and fabrication.


Picturing positive outcomes can significantly reduce apprehension, which can lead to increased levels of confidence and an overall elevation in mood.

When you find yourself wondering, "What if..." Stop! Take a deep breath; breathe in through the nose, hold the air in your lungs for a count of four, then slowly let the air out through the mouth. While you are doing this, consider the possibility that you are being unrealistic and irrational. Focus on positive or neutral outcomes.

CBT therapy is often very helpful for people with anticipatory anxiety. Do talk with your counselor re this approach to your issues.

Hang in there and trust you will get better.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt

Great advice..
as i said if you were going crazy you would not know it imho

take care
lyn

ahhh thank you so much paigedp! you made me feel A LOT better especially after reading the post before yours. we should chat sometime! i'm definitely going to talk to my psychologist about cognitive behavior theory. this fear is still relatively new so i'm hoping i can break it before it gets too serious. it's amazing how much this experience has changed my feelings on life in such a short amount of time. i'm happy to hear you've improved! how is school going for you now? how did you explain to your friends why you had to take a break from school?

Hey, I really hope it does improve and that your psychologist can help you. School is going really great for me now, actually. I am about to finish up a Pharm. Tech. program, and get a job in the pharmacy. Then I am going to go to a University and go into art. :)


I actually got really lucky when I told my friends why I dropped out that semester, my grandparents and stuff like that where harder to get to understand, though. It turns out one of my friends has suffered with depression since he was a little kid, one was bipolar, and a few others had anxiety problems themselves, or someone in their family did. My now fiance understood completely because he had to watch me suffer through all of it, and even had to suffer himself a little too.



Even the friends I had that weren't close to me understood and were very caring about it. And I agree we should chat sometime. :) I tend to get on a night ( I live in Texas, so in that time zone lol).



I really wish you luck with telling your friends. I also didn't tell ALL my friends that it was caused from a drug, but I told most of them, and they found it really hard to believe that that could happen, but they trusted me. Just found it a bit bizarre I guess haha. :)