Hey, I'm new here.

Hey, my name is Erick. I just recently found this forum, and I'm really glad I did, it's been helping me a great deal. So I'll share a little bit about me and how I came across this forum. Three weeks ago, I got drunk with a couple of friends, and everything went pretty normal. The next day, I was still a little bit drunk and hung over, which was what I normally feel after some drinking. Now mind you, I rarely drink, I'm 20 years old, but I have only been drunk a few times. However, later during that day, I experienced my first anxiety attack while driving somewhere, and it scared so much, I almost had to pull over. My heart started pounding, I felt very hot, and started to freak out. I have never felt anything like that before, and it scared me quite a bit. A few people have blamed it on the fact that I might have been still drunk, but unfortunately that did not end there. That night, I was at a neighbors house for a bbq, and after we ate, I got a weird sensation that freaked me out, a sensation that made me feel really out of it, a feeling where you know that you're physically there, but not mentally there. I was zoning out and I could not pay attention for the life of me. I tried going to sleep that night, and throughout that week, but I kept having anxiety attacks during the nights and the day. I kept feeling like something was off, and kept getting that sensation, which brought on the anxiety attacks. That "out of it" sensation that I had a couple nights previously, ended up lasting for the past three weeks, and every now and then I keep getting anxiety attacks over it. However, it's come to the point where I feel this sensation never leaves me, and I'm constantly thinking and feeling it. It has caused me to feel very depressed and very anxious about things, and I feel I can't even leave my house or drive anymore without being scared and feeling like this. And when I drive, I feel like I'm in a constant feeling of highway hypnosis, where I know my mind is not completely on the road, which is causing me to become fearful of driving. It has seriously taken over everything, and it's on my mind 24/7. I just started seeing a therapist last week, who thinks I may actually have depression, but the thing is, I've never felt depressed in my life until after that night of drinking and when the anxiety started. Now, I feel so anxious everyday, and this sensation seems to never leave my body and it is physically and mentally draining. I constantly worry and get headaches. I know it's all from stress too, but I can't stop. I'm sure I'm not making any sense, and I apologize for writing so much, but maybe someone else out there knows what I'm talking about or how I'm feeling? I read on a post on here that was from 2005, where someone was saying that anxiety brings on this sensation, so that's why I came here..

Post Edited (OctoberK) : 7/17/2010 8:28:19 PM (GMT-6)

Hello OctoberK,

Depression and anxiety often go together. I think the info you may have read about was depersonalization.
Depersonalization is the state of not feeling like one-self or feeling alienated from one's own behavior, which is a mental disorder that distorts a person's sense of reality. It creates a sense of being outside the body, and a feeling of watching oneself act, while having no control over a circumstance. According to the American Psychological Association, "Depersonalization is a malfunction or anomaly of the mechanism by which an individual has self awareness. It is a feeling of watching oneself act, while having no control over a situation."

Derealization unlike depersonalization which effects the perception of oneself, is a change in an individual's experience of their environment, where the world around you feels unreal and unfamiliar.

Depersonalization and Derealization, two normal symptoms of anxiety disorder, are both Dissociative disorders and sufferers of one can experience the other. Although very disturbing at times, they are completely harmless, and just parts of anxiety symptoms.

Please talk with your therapist or pyschiatrist about this two symptoms that happen with your anxiety.

Kindly,

Kitt

All of these symptoms you explained are all so farmiliar things that I have went through and I living proof that you will get better. I think I kept the horrible depsonalrealization and derealization symptoms for a long time after they first started. I honestly think that because at the time back in 2007 when i first started having anxiety/panic attacks, well it was all so new to me and I was worried because I had no clue what was comming over me when before then I had no worry in the world and it just scared me. I just could not knock it right away you know. I still at time experience those feelings at times but just knowing that it is just all in your head and it will not hurt you nor make you go crazy. I really thought I was slowly but surely going crazy when I first had this happen to me but talked to a family member about what I was experiencing and come to find out she had been having the same problems for years and even took meds that made her much better. I had a horrible day today because of a panic attack and unwanted feelings. I really feel that I am not depressed but when I am overcome with anxiety and panic, I am not a happy person. I dont think too many people are. But I am trying to overcome my panic attacks. I had them undercontrol for a long time but I guess due to stress or something it snuck back on me but it is just mental and just as much as I brought it on myself  I can take it off. Just a little time and things will be okay. For you too. You will get through everything just fine. I think that going through panic attacks make you a stronger person. And I can tell you another thing I appreciate everything more and want to do good with my life and love others because I have them. I feel like I am going to die or something horrible is going to happen to me and mentally I feel like it is too much to  handle but it passes and then I am happy again. I have been reading today on the internet things that help people to overcome this anxiety and panic attacks. Try to develop a positive attitude and it you have another attack beleive me you are not alone and no matter how bad you may feel, you will calm down adventually and come out of it okay. I am 25 years old with two toddlers, Anastasia is 3 and my son Stephen is 2. Anastasia will be 4 in november and stephen will be 3 in october. I am at home mom for my kids and I was taking online classes but it was too much a load I decided to take a break. When I go through this I have two toddlers in the same house with me needing me all day long and I get through it with them. I love my children so much and do everything I can for them. I hope you are feeling much better and am sorry that this came on you but life is not over and it could be a new start for a better you and you will overcome this, dont be scared of the feelings because they are normal and it will go away over time. Things are going to get better just hang in there buddy.

Yeah I understand you 110% especially the looking up symptom thing. I have to not look up symptoms or else I will have diagnosed myself with 100 different things. I can really freak myself out and I have to control that. Sometimes you really think it is something bad causing this but it is only anxiety and panic. HArd to beleive I know and scary at times. It just drains a person so much that it makes it hard to put one foot in front of the other at times but when you feel this way just tell yourself it will get better and it will. It was only normal for you to act that way after experiencing those feelings and such. You feel all alone like no one understands but when you look it up online, you realize so many more people are going through what you are and many recover 100% and others are standing strong dealing with it the best way and lving. I also distanted myself too from people because I felt so scared and frightened but sometimes having someone you trust to talk to may really help. Even if it is online. Well I will pray for you and everyone else. You will get through it day by day and you will become stronger and stronger.

I understand the feeling of not wanting to be put on medication for depression when the real problem is anxiety. I'm exactly the same way. So far I've just been seeking out advice from here and focusing on taking things step by step...focusing on one thing at a time so I don't get overwhelmed. I'd keep seeing your therapist--talking things out with someone is sometimes the best therapy.
Just throwing it out there that medication isn't always the answer..obviously it depends on the person and the severity, but I'm on no medication and have been managing just fine so personally I understand where you're coming from.

--Che

Welcome! Glad you found this site. Unfortunately it does take some time for anti-deps to work and in my experience - it can get worse before it helps. But it does help most people. I promise they don't pay me!!! Sometimes it takes a while to get the medication mix right. I remember the confusion and panic I had until I found the right way to treat my anxiety. I wish you all the best for your therapist visit. Keep in touch and know we understand.
Hugs