Good Morning,
I would strongly suggest that you do seek out a P-doc to prescribe your medications. I use to have my PCP order my meds but when he ran out of ideas he referred me to a P-doc and it has been so much better. I am on Effexor which I started in May and it seems to be working after several adjustments in the dose.
I feel you may be experiencing anticipatory anxiety.
Anticipatory anxiety is where a person experiences increased levels of anxiety by thinking about an event or situation in the future. The worries you experience specifically focus on what you think might happen, often with catastrophic predictions about the event.
To begin treating anticipatory anxiety, we must be able to admit that we cannot predict the future. Any scenario we are able to imagine is nothing more than speculation and fabrication.
Picturing positive outcomes can significantly reduce apprehension, which can lead to increased levels of confidence and an overall elevation in mood.
When you find yourself wondering, "What if..." Stop! Take a deep breath; breathe in through the nose, hold the air in your lungs for a count of four, then slowly let the air out through the mouth. While you are doing this, consider the possibility that you are being unrealistic and irrational. Focus on positive or neutral outcomes.