Alright well I made it through the night which is pretty funny that I even thought that I wasn't going to be able to and that I was going to snap or something. I hate this out of control and strange feeling. One of my main problems, which I think really contributes to me really getting myself worked up is the fact that I time seems to mooove sooooo slow. I find myself constantly checking the time and it only ever seems to move by like 5-10 minutes everytime because I'm so nervously checking the time and seeing how long I've lasted. I'm sure this goes hand in hand with not beinga ble to find anything I enjoy to do anymore because if I was actually thoroughly into a show, or a game, or a conversation, or anything I wouldn't be constantly checking what time it is.
Anyone ever battle this? Because I'm constantly trying to plan out my day and worrying about what time it is, how much longer I have until I can go to sleep, how much longer I can "last". It's so stupid, I know. But that's the idiotic stuff that goes rolling around my head lately. And Kitt, what was the link to that cbt thing before? I know I've tried it before and I really did feel stupid using it, it honestly felt like it was something childish. And that's not making fun of it, that's just how my head works. I felt like I was doing something pathetic and pointless, but you know what, everyone I hear from seems to swear by it. Maybe I need to just sack up my pride and ego, whatever is left of it, and give it a shot.