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Posted 10/13/2010 3:43 PM (GMT 0)
Hello,

I'm new to the forum and desperate for some advice/help.  I'll try and make this as short as possible because sure you've all read these posts before. 

Here's my history...

I have had issues with anxiety for as long as I can remember.  I would panic using a telephone, having shirts pulled over my head, heights, air travel, etc.  As a teen I would resort to alcohol almost daily just to take the edge off during school.  There were even days I would skip school just to stay home and clean the house.  As I got older and began working my face would blush almost everytime I would have contact with a person.  I did see a psychologist for a very brief time (never can commit to one) and was given Buspar (this was about 12 years ago).  I only took the meds for a short time because I'm not a fan of medication.  Through the years I've managed to keep things pretty much under control (i.e. pause while talking so that I'm not quick to respond; remind myself that other people blush on occassion; etc).  Within the past few years things are getting pretty uncomfortable.  I've had two difficult pregnancies where I was on bed rest the entire time and even hospitalized.  After the birth of the twins I almost died from hemmorhage.  Then I became pregnant soon after.  I am now a stay at home mother of 4 (16 yr, 3 yr old twins, 2 yr old).  I have panic attacks on the freeway and even some surface streets.  I find myself using xanax just to drive somedays.  Acupuncture has helped, but doesn't seem to fix it.  My appetite is just about gone and even food doesn't quite taste the same.  In the past I have been able to work through these issues on my own, but due to being a stay at home mom who doesn't have much solo time...it's been hard to think clearly.  I'm pretty sure much of panic stems from a fear of dying (sparked from my post pregnancy emergency)...just don't know how to tackle it solo. 

Anyone with words of advice?  This is getting old...and some day I hope to have a job outside of the home that may require me to travel on the freeway.

Thanks!

 

Posted 10/13/2010 4:17 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Belawe and a warm welcome. Well it sounds as though we have some things in common! I also have health anxiety which I believe was brought on by high risk pregnancies and complications. I had severe pre-eclampsia, especially with my first, and scared even my doctors with my high b.p.! It sounds as if your self-talk and managing stress makes you a good candidate for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If you haven't cared for traditional therapy in the past, this might appeal to you. You have already started doing it on your own, the way that you give yourself time to think before speaking, and rationalizing that blushing is a common problem-Good job! I strongly suggest that you take the next step and find a therapist who offers CBT. Since you are not a fan of being on medication, this is a good alternative to try. I worked through two programs (and am doing one currently on-line) and have been able to avoid meds. I have been where you are. I remember driving my oldest to summer school a few years back and having a huge P/A on a major freeway. What can you do? I had to keep driving and just suffer through the fear, shaking , ect. That's when I knew that I had to get help. I couldn't allow myself to go on that way, and especially had to get help for my kid's sake. You can have recovery from this-I am living proof! I still struggle with anxiety issues, but I no longer have the panic attacks, or the debilitating anxiety that I used to. I am glad that you found us. This is a great place for advice, info and support. Good luck to you, and let us know how you are doing:)
Take care,
Scaredy Cat
Posted 10/13/2010 8:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Belawe,

You said in your post that you don't know how to tackle this alone. The good news is you don't have to. You're not expected to be an expert at anxiety and panic or to have all the answers. Allow yourself to reach out for and ask for help - just as you did here by introducing yourself, which I commend you for doing.

As SC put it you can certainly look back into counseling. CBT as she described is the most frequently used "type" of counseling for A/P specifically. It takes time and so you do need to be patient with yourself and allow yourself the time you need to get to a better place. But as many of us here can attest to - it certainly is possible.

One other thought is that you have a number of responsibilities (4 kids isn't easy). Do you have any help or can you get some help so as to allow yourself some therapy time (even if informal)? Also remember that you always have options. For instance, do you really have to get to the post office today?! If you panic a lot when driving... does your 16 yr old have a license? Even if not, it might help to plan your trips. Some roads may feel "safer" than others. You might want to stay in the right lane so that if you start to panic you can easily pull over until the attack ends. Also know in advance exactly where you're going. Getting lost or going to a new neighborhood alone may only bring on more anxiety.
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