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It gets SOOO much worse!!!

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Posted 11/18/2010 5:07 PM (GMT 0)
Ok so yesterday I made a post about "Crying out...". Those that read it know that I've been struggling with my meds and insurance and trying to get into see a doctor/therapist. They are really making me jump a lot of hoops!! Not just that but they arnt very reliable as I explained.

IT HAS GOTTEN SO MUCH WORSE!!!!! Ok well, less than an hour after posting about my trouble with all that lastnight we got a phone call. It was my boyfriend's uncle. He stated that since my late future father in law's land that he put his trailor on, wasn't in my future FIL's name it wont go to my boyfriend. The land is actually owned by the rest of the family on my boyfriend's side. And they all want us OFF!!! They want to make us move!!!

The lawyer said that since my boyfriend does own the trailor now, we can move it even tho its 17 years old. Problem is, nobody wants to move trailors past 10yrs bc they tend to fall apart. So here we have been struggling with all these worrys and just trying to get by and get through it, now we might be homeless!!!!

Gone from a paid for 3 bedroom home. No rent, no house payment, no car payment, everything paid off. To possibly being homeless!!!

I have been totally freaking out ever since this phone call!!!!!!! Pacing the floor, heart pounding, thoughts racing, anger, anxiety, crying. Here we were trying for another baby with the extra room. My boyfriend just found a job and a few other little odd jobs. We were planning a great wedding. I got my dress already. We have a nice little nest egg of almost $10,000. We get that on Dec 20th through probate. We thought we were set. Should have known! "When things seem too good to be true, they usually are." And why dont I ever get it through my head?!!?

Well the uncle did call us back after a few hours saying that we shouldnt worry about moving 'yet'. There's that word. "Yet". Thats the kicker!!!!! Kicks me right in the stomach and I hear it over and over!!! I dont know what he means!!!! I'm just terrified right now!!!!!


 

Posted 11/18/2010 5:26 PM (GMT 0)
I am sorry to hear of this new twist but wondering if there is a deed on the land and if your boyfriend's lawyer has seen it. Also was not your boyfriend's Father part of the family owned land ?

For now I would try to sit tight and take it one step at a time. Your boyfriend owns the trailer and if not the land perhaps he could pay a modest sum to live on the land as in renting the land. I would guess that they had no plans to kick your boyfriends father off the land so they do not appear to need it for anything. Hopefully a compromise can be reached.

I do not mean to be unkind but perhaps waiting on another baby and the big wedding should be postponed for a bit until you know what is going to happen for sure. Remember to stay in the moment and take this one step at a time. Your mental health must come first so take care of you.

When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, the first thing you can do is to divide the task into a series of smaller steps.

Wishing you peace,

Kitt
Posted 11/18/2010 7:19 PM (GMT 0)
Well my boyfriend's lawyer says his father DID have his name on the land and we dont know why but some time back, he had his name taken off it. So he owned none of it.

Me and my boyfriend we wernt planning a big wedding. Just a small service with my family (the rest of his are awful!) and a few friends. Just a chance for me to wear my dress and have a simple but nice day. We are probably going to have to put it off anyway tho. We will probably end up doing the court house wedding and then maybe this summer do a nicer one. Depends on how things go.

We did decide that now that all these troubles have come up, to put a hault on trying for a baby. Could be too late tho. I've never tried to get preg and didnt the first time. Seriously! I unfortunatly had 5 misscarriages before the birth of our son. So we will see.

I am just trying so hard to relax but its so hard to do with all these uncertainties!!!!!! I like to have everything planned out and ready and these days, nothing thats happened has been planned and I am never ready!! I feel so out of control!! I'm grasping at straws here!! I feel like I'm drowning!!
Posted 11/18/2010 9:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hang in there! It sounds like the smart thing to do about the land is let the lawyers handle it. I think you can do that in a "nice" way that won't alienate the in-laws - maybe say something like: "This is a really complicated and serious situation, and we'd just like to have the lawyer take care of it for us."

I just find it surprising that your boyfriend's uncle is speaking for everybody. Maybe they wanted him to, maybe not? But this is a big deal: it's YOUR home. So if they do want you to leave, or whatever they choose about the land, I'd think there need to be papers, like a lease, or something, and then it's reasonable to have the lawyer help you out.

Take one step at a time, and remember that you don't have to sort everything out at once. It's horrible when you need the anxiety about it to stop all at once, but maybe it will help just knowing that some things honestly can wait their turn for a little bit while the bigger things get sorted out as solidly as you can get them.

Hugs,
percycat
Posted 11/19/2010 12:48 AM (GMT 0)
Raynebow
I know how you feel as I am a planner and when something goes wrong I tend to go into panic mode. I have had to really work hard at adopting a wait and see attitude which is difficult in the best of times. smile

Perhaps when your boyfriend's father's estate has cleared probate you can have that little church wedding. I feel everyone that wants a church wedding should be able to experience the joy of being married in church.

Being married by a judge is not all that bad ~ my hubby of 40 years and I were married by a judge without any family in attendance. We had a nice reception when we got home as we had traveled out of town. My mother made my dress and it was a beautiful June day ! I will always remember how in love I was and still am.

Keep on believing that life will right itself again soon and know we are here for you.

Kindly,

Kitt
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